Friday
Mar302012
Out of office reply
March 30, 2012 Hello and thank you for visiting Cake Wrecks, where all of your hopes for humanity are dashed on a daily basis. Sadly, we are unable to meet your humor requirements today due to:
__ Travel
__ Plague
__ A pack of wild rodents gnawing off our extremities
__ All of the above
X Nap time
Instead, please take this opportunity to entertain yourself by:
- Correcting this cake:
;)
- Guessing what this is supposed to be:
;)
- Brainstorming at least three (3) suitable puns for this:
;)
Always Butterflies: Now with wings!
- Writing a short story to explain this scene:
Suggested title: Revenge of the lobsters
- Leaving a colorful message after the beep.
*beep*
Thanks to Gin M., Lori R., Elaine K., and Anne M. for continuing to hold.
Reader Comments (126)
does that top cake say "are you pooping?" on the side? I hope so cuz I'd have pooped myself laughing when I picked up this cake.
Is it just me, or does that first one say "are you pooping" on the side?
Does the side of the first cake say, "Are you Pooping?"
Does the side of the first cake say, "Are You Pooping"?
On the side of that first cake, does it really say "are you pooping"?
Does the first cake say "ARE YOU POOPING?" on the side???
Does that first cake say "are you pooping" on the side?
Does that first one really say "are you pooping" on the side???
Did they put green peas on the second cake? o.O
Apparently the first cake has "Are you Epcotting" written on the side
#1: The real question with this cake is not "what does it say?". It is "why are they so concerned with her poop?".
#2: Frontal view of an angry Praying Mantis with chicken (mantis?) pox. Or the looser in a game of Frogger.
#3: At least the maxi pad has the sense to look uncomfortable with itself. It knows it shouldn't be on a cake. For a two year old.
#4: Tom awoke screaming after yet another night of drowning nightmares. Why do the crawfish hate him so?
Does that first one say "28m"? *headdesk*
And that "butterfly" is most definitely a tampon getting a tan on his beach blanket.....
Yes. yes, I believe it does.
Careful PEOPLE We don't need an epcot...
Where's my pillow? I too need a nap
Haha, I love the delayed comment posting. It's fun to read how many different ways people can ask if the first cake says, "Are you pooping."
And yeah, that's what it looks like. I cannot come up with a scenario that putting that on a cake would be appropriate. Or funny.
(Head cocked) Are you Pooping? Um I hope not while your looking at the cake? Makes you wonder what the other side says. LAMO
...and the Epcot has begun!
Epcot is pooping!!
There once was a woman named Virginny
Whose name couldn't be spelled by any
For her birthday they made
A foul excuse for a cake
To describe it; well, indeed it was *ahem* poopy.
Okay, I guess I want ask if the first cake says "Are you pooping on the side?" on the side since the first several comments already ask that question. lol I will say that I nearly busted a gut when reading the cake. It also brought back memories of my jounior high years when I turned in a paper on Virginia. My teacher was reading the paper and could not stop laughing. I made a good grade for content. She did not take off for spelling that particular time but she did circle my misspelled words and that was the only one. I had Virginia spelled the same way they do in that cake. lol But I could not for the life of me figure out why it made my teacher laugh so hard until my mother read it to me like it sounded.
1. This is a trick question as the cake is correct.
2. The Google tells me it's the lobby of the Murray Hill Marriott in Manhattan. I don't see it myself, but who am I to question The Google.
3. You want three tampuns? I can’t even come up with one.
4. In the beginning, before Cake and Time, there was only blueness. The Almighty Goddess Jehnn, and Yahn, The God of the Blue (generally depicted as a starfish and seahorse) looked upon the Great Blue and felt peace. Here was a kingdom untouched by the presence of the CCC. Unknown in this paradise was grammar of an ungrammatical kind. Thus spake Jehnn, “Let us share the majesty of this fine place with other (albeit lowlier) beings, so that they, too, might know the satisfaction that is ours. So Jehnn created the earth and covered it with the sea (because beachfront property is through the roof!) and Yahn placed upon the earth, the most beautiful of creatures, The Hand Turkey. Sadly, The Hand Turkey could neither fly, nor swim, nor could it waddle though it was beautiful in Yahn’s sight. The Hand Turkey quickly fell beneath the waves. The omnipotent Jehnn quickly placed the Red Lobster in the sea as it might save The Hand Turkey (although, being omnipotent, Jehnn really should have given the damn turkey the ability to swim.) But lo, the Red Lobsters mocked the turkey as it fell to the floor of the sea. As punishment, The God and Goddess declared that forevermore, Red Lobsters would be delicious after being boiled in the water that gave them life. And all beings would be subjected to baked goods that looked like babies and excrement.
The end.
Why are the angry lobsters after the swimming turkey? And since when turkeys swam? :D
If you have another book and another book tour and another wrecklipa (wreplica?) contest, I will be making the lobsters-drown-a-turkey-while-seahorse-and-starfish-look-down-from-the-sky cookie cake because it is awesome. I might just make it anyway.
I believe the second one is supposed to be an owl. With Owl Pox, evidently.
I can't wait to use my new exlamation. VIRGURA!!!!
I figure it must mean something like Hooray.
We all assume the "Virginia" cake is misspelled. Knowing how many crazy spellings people use, I wonder if the person's name really is Virgina.
#1 Happy Birthday - have some Viagra.
#2 Fertility god
#4 What happens when the two previous cakes meet.
#3 How one feels those first few weeks after #1 and #2 meet.
Next up: Little baby shower cakes of horror!
LOL!! SuBee wins on so many levels :D
I didn't notice the turkey the first time around, but definitely went, "Huh?" I thought I was imagining things.
SuBee - I love your version of world creation. I think every school in America should adopt it today :-)
SuBee, you are awesome! Great explanation of the lobster/drowning turkey. Are you a fan of the great Monty Python by chance? Love those guys!
And, LOVE Cake Wrecks! Jen and the crew rock!
Gee, standardized testing has changed a lot since I went to school. Let's see:
1. GRAMMAR AND LANGUAGE SKILLS: This one's easy. Just change the 28th to a 28st. Duh. Extra credit: "Are you pooping" is the little known alternative translation for "Frere Jacques." It goes (if you'll pardon the expression):
Are you pooping? Are you pooping? Brother John? Brother John?
God, you're so disgusting.
I demand the top bunk.
Clean that up. Clean that up.
2. MODERN ART: "Portrait of a Rabid Badger who has Recently Eaten Peas." It's from the Vogon Art Period.
3. PROBLEM SOLVING: (I can't think of any puns, and I can ALWAYS (pardon the pun) think of puns!!! Ack! OK, partial credit...)
a. For those times when you feel "less than fresh," reach for "Summer's Eve." For those times when you feel like this, try "Summer's Post-Apocalyptic Dawn of the Dead."
b. Always: When you can't have a happy period, have an unhappy exclamation point.
4. LITERATURE: (I'm only on Chapter 9 of "Catching Fire," so I'm going to have to wing it...) Ahem...
This scene depicts the beginning of the revolution following Katniss and Peeta's win in "The Hunger Games." Knowing that they are being constantly monitored, they devise a plan to communicate revolutionary plans using baked goods, made possible by Peeta's frosting skills. The above cookie depicts the start of the revolution. First, the turkey depicts Gale's punishment for poaching, while the blue dots represent the berries Katniss used to thwart the planners of the Hunger Games. The three lobsters are obviously Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch, who know they're in hot water with President Snow. Sea creatures in the clouds indicate this cookie was for the District that provided seafood for Panem, while the frosting dots represent the days of the month. By finding the dot with the smaller blue dot, the revolutionaries knew what day the revolution was supposed to start. Note how cleverly Peeta disguised the date dot among the berries. Although obscure to us, these symbols were immediately obvious to Panem citizens.
So, did I get an A on my CAKE-SAT?
The last cake looks like a poorly made diorama of the third installment of Charlie the Unicorn. Starfish loves you...but apparently not the turkey.
#2 -- The Flying Spaghetti Monster?
What a creation myth, SuBee. Love it.
AND the color is burnt sienna (just because I always liked that Crayola name--unless we had the Prussian blue one).
I almost laughed just as hard reading the comments as I did looking at the pictures. Did anyone else notice that the 'are you pooping' cake is also brown and looks like it's dripping poop?
-Tampon getting his tan on LOVED it!
2nd cake I'm thinking is either an Alien or a Predator...haven't fully decided yet. And there's just so much going on with the seahorse in the sky cake I can't even make up my mind what to say...
SuBee should be awarded a Pulitzer Prize in Literature, or a stint as a guest blogger on Cake Wrecks!!! That was the most awesomest short story since "the beginning, before Cake and Time"!!!
Once upon a November, a panicked turkey fled an ax-wielding Pilgrim who was looking for a main course for his Thanksgiving dinner. Not watching where he was going, the colorful but heedless turkey ran right off the coast of Maine and into the Atlantic Ocean.
The sealife, never having seen a turkey before, believed they were under attack. The starfish and seahorse believed that discretion was the better part of valor, and they took shelter in the moist environs of a pair of passing clouds. The lobsters, however, were not so intelligent (you just can't get anything through their thick exoskeletons), and they attacked the now-waterlogged turkey.
As the turkey's dying breath bubbled to the water's surface, the Pilgrim arrived with a net, scooped the turkey and his attackers from the water, and thereby started the long-standing tradition of serving roast turkey complete with claws and eyestalks for Thanksgiving dinner. The leftovers were delicious!
@SuBee: Amen, sister! (You left out the part where Jehnn looked at the cakes and said, "Let there be blight!") And there was.
I'm trying so hard to write a haiku, but the officemate turned up the country station and then LEFT the office! All I can think about are phrases like "born with a shotglass in my hand" and "one glass of wine and she's tipsy" and "caught at the motel with a preacher-man."
Could any of those possibly explain the first cake?
~~~
Octopus panda
offers you tentacle-hugs. Just
ignore his pustules.
#1- I believe it says: I have the plague
#2- It's a ghost of a goat. With the plague.
#3- a) bu-menstrual-fly, with the plague
b) I thought tampons had ONE string
c) Oh look, it's va-jazzeled!
#4- The NBC peacock was dreaming up of some lovely new show for the fall lineup, like "Friends (in the sea) and N.Sea-I.S., when suddenly the crusty CEOs over at SeaBS got wind of the ideas. They were peeved so say the least. How dare that colorful cock steal their ideas... hadn't they already added SeaS.I. and How I Met Your Undersea Friends to their own line up??
The lobsters promptly gave the plague to the turkey looking thing. And he died. The end.
Aqua Turkey. Nice. :)
1. Virgina, Virgiva, Virgira. I came, I saw, I had cake.
2. A spider monkey, of course. You guys totally don't watch enough Disney channel.
3. This is not feminine protection. (Chartreuse flamethrower anyone?) Rather, you have to tilt your head to the right to see that it is a bar sinister on a field of purple, indicating that this child is the illegitimate offspring of a royal family. A cause to celebrate if ever I heard of one.
4. This cake was part of an ill-fated ad campaign to encourage eating seafood on thanksgiving day. They were going to use the slogans Crustacean Nation, and Fish Rule, but lack of interest and common sense eventually prevailed.
On a non-pooping note, it looks like the other side of the first cake is screaming MOPAR. Now that's an even more confusing addition! Birthdays, virgin-stuff, poop, and racing. Sounds like a weekend!
The first spelling on Cake#1 looks like "Virgiva", which frankly sounds like a 3 year old who just learned the scientific name for her "girl parts". Which relates to cake #2 which is said 3 year old's drawing of her "Virgiva", uterus, and ovaries. Which is then also linked to Cake #3 which looks like an unhappy tampon. Which links it all to case #4 because Freud says that all dreams about water are really about sex. The End.
I TOTALLY did my homework, but my aquatic turkey ate it. Can I have an extention?
Okay, fine. I have comment anxiety. I couldn't come up with anything better than SueBee or Sharyn.
It's not my fault. I have to scroll down past all the comments before I can type mine.
I'll be stocking the bunker, as it appears we have a stage yellow Epcot warning on the "Are You Pooping?" cake.
Omnom: I know that song! "Seahorse in the sky, you can fly twice as high...Take a look, it's on a cook, ie - Reading Raaaainboooow!"
Why are there lobsters taunting a drowning turkey on that cookie?????
Oh, and, Jen? I realize the rent is fabulous, but you might want to consider moving the offices out of the Fire Swamp. Then you could take #3 off of your office memos. Although, I hear the trees are actually quite lovely.
1. Remove chocolate side panel that reads "Are you Pooping" and change every "Virgira" to "Viagra"
2. A skinny albino toad
3. That Maya is a real firecracker, her birthday party's sure to be dynamite.
4. Tom couldn't escape the lobster feeding frenzy by joining the other sea creatures among the clouds because, as you know, turkeys can't fly.
the 2nd one looks like the robot from "short circuit" "number 5 is alive!"
I'm guessing that second cake is an Alien Octo-Mouse with a Beard and Many Horrible Staring Green Eyes. Yes. And that pad is just terrified of him.