Friday
Mar302012
Out of office reply
March 30, 2012 Hello and thank you for visiting Cake Wrecks, where all of your hopes for humanity are dashed on a daily basis. Sadly, we are unable to meet your humor requirements today due to:
__ Travel
__ Plague
__ A pack of wild rodents gnawing off our extremities
__ All of the above
X Nap time
Instead, please take this opportunity to entertain yourself by:
- Correcting this cake:
;)
- Guessing what this is supposed to be:
;)
- Brainstorming at least three (3) suitable puns for this:
;)
Always Butterflies: Now with wings!
- Writing a short story to explain this scene:
Suggested title: Revenge of the lobsters
- Leaving a colorful message after the beep.
*beep*
Thanks to Gin M., Lori R., Elaine K., and Anne M. for continuing to hold.
Reader Comments (126)
I am dying to know what is written on the other side of the first cake. Its hard to beat, "are you pooping?"!!! I love how the seahorse is just chillin on some toothpaste, watching as the scarey evil lobsters attack that poor turkey! Could it be more random?
I read Jen's premise, the side of wreck #1, and went directly to the bunker. Oy. Of all the things to EPCOT about...
@Fluffy Cow, I also went to NBC on the last one. I wanted to say something snarky about 'sinking in the ratings', but it wouldn't jell.
I'm curious what J&J think of CakeCon. I think it has rockability. I'd be a DOC ninja, of course. Needless to say there would have to be about 50 nearly identical Spaceship Earth costumes, complete with 'Disney script'. Speaking of which, there needs to be a room or an area cordoned off with partitions as the EPCOT Bunker.
Theardare would probably make his own travel arrangements -- he's clever like that. He wouldn't get past TSA, so commercial jets are out. Commercial jets aren't snooty enough for cats, anyway.
I'm sure that last one is a peacock. Turkeys on cakes never look that much like birds. And it's *thinking* (little blue dots leading to thought clouds),..."I thought there would be seahorses and starfish to be my friends, ...oh dear, here come the lobsters!" And if we knew why it was thinking that, (or why it was in the water to begin with), we would have a much better understanding of the universe. But we don't. :-P
@Omnom: gee thanks, now I've got the turkey in my head, singing something like this:
"Never been a swimmer; I'm not finned
I got a friend in Frosting
So you know that when I die
He's gonna set me up with the seahorse in the sky"
Which makes about as much sense as that cookie.
Colorful message follows: Make it pink! Make it blue! Pink! Blue!
The decorator was having trouble with the spelling; after asking for help the conclusion was to just "spell it like it sounds". Apparently he/she had marbles in their mouth and "poop" for brains!
Perhaps after many years of looking down upon the earth, a star, wished to live upon the earth. As it fell through the atmosphere, it mutated into this unfortunate mess.
Just ideas, no puns...sorry.
The pizza delivery guy had an accident on the way to deliver your pizza.
The pivot's (roller derby) team colors were "vomitrocious".
See the "burn mark" where the animated clock's hands used to be? The explosion also removed the numbers.
The lobsters were boiling mad and unfortunately for Tom the turkey (who had been vacationing at the beach, when he tripped and fell); the lobsters decided that they were not going to be what was for lunch that day. The only way to avoid the lobster's wrath, for the seahorse and starfish; was to jump up as high as they could. The adreinaline kicked in and that's how they got on the low lying clouds. (The clouds had conspired with the lobsters-to cover up their revenge.)
It ain't much and that's why CW is J & J's baby!
Answers to Barbara Anne's Cake Wrecks Quiz
1. d
2. d
3. self-awareness
4. a) duct tape
b) dark sunglasses
c) chocolate -- put a pile of chocolate in a room and I don't see anything else
5. B-52
6. DON'T PANIC!
7. Survivor: Turkey Island
8. Instantaneously, as that particular set of circumstances is known to open a Euro-African wormhole.
@Barbara Anne: We have one too, although since it's a Honda it's probably considered more pick up and less pick 'em up. Is it wrong that I'm already looking for toy machine guns to outfit my stuffed cat collection for our float? And stockpiling crepe paper?
Does that first cake say, "are you pooping?"
I'm 98percent sure the 2nd and 3rd cake are for "Red Tent Parties" ....98% sure. haha! ;)
I think SueB wins the Cake story awards for the day!
just as i read the "beep" one of my parents hit a button on the phone, making the beep sound!!! Whats it say on the side of the 1st cake anyway??
@Ela, It's all about ideas. No competition, just laughs.
CW *is* J&J's baby, for sure. Or J's, anyway -- J helps out and moderates this online asylum of a comment board (thanks, J&J!). But we get to bring all the nieces and nephews for an open-ended play date. Gotta love it.
DOC-ers: I can think of several ways that carrots could be made to move in formation, but it probably wouldn't do to have real babies on them -- too small to see easily. Are there large dolls that can be positioned in 'the pose'?
As regards costumes, how is anyone going to come dressed as a naked mohawk baby carrot jockey? Apart from the mohawk and the carrot, that is. I guess some sort of body suit -- yeah, that's it. Just make sure all would-be jockeys get the memo. (Yikes!)
Someone who is good with crafts could have a field day with this Cake Con thing. Let's see -- do we know anyone like that? ;-)
Don't "Travel" and "Plague" tend to be synonymous for you guys? Like "Travel/Resulting Plague"?
Mickey Moctopuss!
You know, it's NOT hard to spell 'Virginia'! As somebody who was RAISED In Virginia Beach, VA, I don't know if I should beat them with an almanac or if I should pity that 'decorator'.
On Cake #4... and here I always thought it was "Chicken of the Sea" :/
I has a question.. is there a way I can follow you.. like via feedburner or something? I've looked all over your blog and I can't find any way to do that. :(
When cakes are horribly misspelled, I tend to share the blame around. I assume that the person ordering the cake texted their order (no one spellchecks texts) and that the baker is litterallly a corporate drone that automatically reproduces the said txt.
This, however, does not explain "Are you pooping?" I've tried and tried to determine the appropriate alternate spelling, but I just can't find the appropriate substitution. So I assume that 'a-y'p' is the appropriate txt.
And I try not to think about that any further. (yeah, good luck!)
@Sharyn Euro-African wormhole. WOOOOOOOOT
(and mine’s a Toyota- but it pulls a tent trailer, sometimes hauls a dog, and has a country station on the pre-set buttons of the radio)
@Craig sooooo not touching the “large dolls that can be positioned.” That is all.
Between the post itself, the code yellow Epcot, and the multitude of AMAZING reader comments, this post is FABULOUS! Much wit and cleverness abounds. I'm not going to try to match or top any of your awesomeness.
For @Craig and others, a CakeCon would be The Bomb! Name the time, name the place - I'm there!
#2 looks like a surprised Zorak as the oncoming train gets closer.
First-time poster, longtime reader, and while I'm normally good guessing at what the baker intended, as far as the black and white iced cookie cake goes...I got nothing.
*inverts image*
Nope. Still nothing. I mean, seriously, what? With the green m&ms/skittles/whatever ungodly spots?
The last one, thought, is CLEARLY the baker's interpretation of the Omaha Beach landing as depicted in "The Longest Day" with the lobsters as the amphibious landing craft (hey, crustacean, amphibian, close enough), the seahorse and starfish as the paratroopers, with the leftover thanksgiving turkey decor as Field Marshall Romell. Duh.
I love the first cake, if not for the miss spellings it would be a nice looking cake and then.... are you pooping??? Wow just wow, made me laugh so so so hard I almost... wait where are you going???? Are you pooping??
@Sharyn and Barbara Anne,
If you want your float to win, you better grease my palm with at least 20 cupcakes. Because then my float application will stick to my hand and I won't be able to turn it in.
Does that first cake, on the side it, ask the question, "Are you Pooping?"
No. You are imagining things. It's a common problem, as you can see from the earlier comments.
An octopus with a cow's head? And the NBC peacock about to get torn up by some little Zoidbergs? I didn't even know peacocks could swim! Virgiva, Virgina, Virgira? Some strange version of "Veni, vidi, vici" in Virginia.