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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Sunday
Aug202017

Sunday Sweets: Filibuster Edition

A friend once told me, "I love all your posts, but I have to admit, on Sundays you could really write anything. I'm just there for the gorgeous cakes."

Hey, works for me! So, let's see, all I need is to pull together a bunch of amazing cakes, like this:

(By BMT Cake Designs)

...and then fill up the page with whatever I want. It's a Sweets filibuster!

 

Does anybody have a copy of Green Eggs and Ham?
No? Ok, never mind. I'll improvise.

(By Jessicakes)

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief, That thou her maid art far more fair than she.

 

(By Mike's Amazing Cakes)

A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V ... and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

 

(By Mishelle Handy Cakes, pic by David Baxter Photography)

I read some 4 and 5 star reviews by those who used this device successfully to change a baby while driving. On that basis, I bought one. I put my baby on it and drove for over an hour. It did not change. Same baby. I am glad it worked for some people but I will be returning mine.

 

(By Cotton and Crumbs)

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

 

(By Iced and Dazzle, pic by Erin Schaefgen Photography)

I hated her... SOOO... much, it - flame, flames? Flames, on the side of my face, breathing - breath, heaving breaths. Heaving breaths... Heathing...

 

(By Cakes Decor member Ria123)

Up up down down left right left right B A start.

 

(By Lovely Cakes)

"You are using Bonetti's defense against me, ah?"
"I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain."
"Naturally, you must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro."
"Naturally, but I find that Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro, don't you?"

 

(By Rosebud Cakes)

...and I believe you should put a woman on a pedestal.. high enough so you can look up her dress. And I believe in equality, equality for everyone.. no matter how stupid they are, or how much better I am than they are. And, people say I'm crazy for believing this, but I believe that robots are stealing my luggage.

 

(By Cakes By Beth)

A king cake is a type of cake associated in a number of countries with the festival of Epiphany at the end of the Christmas season, and in other places with the pre-Lenten celebrations of Mardi Gras / Carnival. The cake often has a small plastic baby (said to represent Baby Jesus) inside (or sometimes placed underneath), and the person who gets the piece of cake with the trinket has various privileges and obligations.

 

(By Party Flavors Custom Cakes, photo by Amanda McMahon Photography)

1. Take ice tray over to the sink and fill it with cold water.
2. Place the water-filled ice tray back in the freezer.
3. Shut the door to the freezer.

 

(By Neli Josefson)

During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

That's it! The filibuster's over.

Thank goodness these Sweets speak for themselves.

*****

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« I Can See Clearly Now... And... EW | Main | This One's For The Girls »

Reader Comments (42)

OH, Milady (of Cakes)!!! It must be the weather (misty and soft),or the music (classical..beautiful) I'm listening to...but everyone of these creations just seemed to be choreographed to what I want to call a stunningly musical cake-ballet for the eyes!
Brava!!!
=^~.~^=

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

"Not if the enemy has studied his Agrippa! Which I have."

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterStarknight

That last cake! Gorgeous, as I've come to expect on Sunday. Bonus: fun trying to figure out where the commentaries come from.

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterdutchgirl

I recognize almost all of the quotes. Nerds unite!

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSusie

Your decision worked like reverse psychology for me--I read the words and didn't take in the pictures! :-D

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJammies

OMG, I was skipping past the cakes just to read your commentary. Hilarious!

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterConnie

Footnotes for the Faint of Heart:
1. Shakespeare, William. Romeo and Juliet. Act II, Scence 2, lines 3-10.
2. Adams, Douglas. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Originally a BBC Radio production, later as a book.
3. mediocre.com/forum/topics/fun-fake-Amazon-product-reviews (for a steering wheel desk)
4. Boosler, Elayne (American comedienne)
5. Kahn, Madeline (as Mrs. White). Clue (the film), 1995.
6. Conradt, Staci. "23 Places Where the Konami Code Lives On." Mental Floss, 2014.
7. Patinkin, Mandy (as Inigo Montoya). The Princess Bride. Originally a novel by William Goldman, 1973.
8. Martin, Steve. Saturday Night Live monologue.
9. Probably a Wikipedia entry for "King Cake."
10. ChrissyG. "Ice Cubes." Recipe at Food.com
11. Moranis, Rick (as Louis Tully). Ghostbusters, the film.

My apologies for any formatting errors, misattributions, or incorrect information. I recognized all but two, and those I did guess correctly. Just wanted to share the love of citations and referencing!

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

I definitely read your comments and didn't concentrate on the cakes at all. Some of them I knew, some of them I'd have to google.

And to carry on, my washing machine manual, on the problems and solutions page. Problem...my machine runs very quietly. Solution...this machine is designed to run quietly.
No joke, that's what it says. Also, it's the loudest washing machine I've ever owned.

I need my towel.

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBetty Martin

Thank you so much for the narration! Esp the Mrs. White quote. Lovely cakes as usual!

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTrish B

Beautiful cakes and I enjoyed the comments. I was especially glad to see the comment from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". I first heard it on radio and then read the book and saw the movie and, of all of these midii, I really thought that radio was the best.

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJane Lewis

I think a wok is handier than a towel. You can gather food in it, and then cook the food in the same vessel. And if it rains, you can wear the wok as a hat. And my favorite cake - I think! - is the one with the Shakespearian frog: "Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio."

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Who ARE you???

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPeregrin

This was too much fun! Not only gorgeous cakes, but sleuthing to figure out where the quotes came from. The Amazon product review was hilarious, made me waste half an hour reading others on that site... :-)

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

Please, please, please go back to writing commentary on the cakes selected for Sunday Sweets. Seeing them through your eyes and having you point out the creative genius at work has been such a part of the blog. Missed that today!

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMs. Pete

Loved the quotes and cakes!

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

A) LOVED the PB reference - I read it in their voices... &

B) Not all who wander (or filibuster) are lost... :)

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

1. Take ice tray over to the sink and fill it with cold water.
2. Place the water-filled ice tray back in the freezer in a level position, but not upside-down.
3. Shut the door to the freezer.

FIFY

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterfractalist

These cakes are probably the most beautiful ones you have posted. The comments are pretty random; I love the idea of the unlocked locks.

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMary

A+ for the Clue quote!!

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAnf

I love the idea of the six locks. :-)
And the cakes!!

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca Y

I loved today's commentary!! Truly entertaining but the cakes are just WOW!!!

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJane

There is no Dana, only Zule

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRuth G

I had so much fun reading this post that I forgot to look at the cakes! :)

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJoybles

I object.

I, too, love the Sunday Sweets, but you always point out something I didn't see.

In other words, your commentary is *necessary*, not optional.

What are we paying you for, anyway?

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChakolate

I have to admit, I giggled like a madman at the Konami code.

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKai Lowell

The black and white script one is my favorite!
And please, do not ever "flilbuster" your Sunday Sweets ever again! It made my mind explode! LOL

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I come for your commentary as much as the cakes. :) It was distracting not having that! But LOVE that frog cake.

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

LMAO

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterElliot Kahn

Lifting a figurative glass to your mad skillz

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

Gorgeous cake! And I love the quotes you used. (Thank you, Vanessa, for posting the origins! I recognized many but not all. :) ) Though I must confess, I often find myself scrolling back up to look at the cakes (in Sweets or the wrecks) after reading your commentary because your words make me realize. ..I have no idea what I briefly glanced at on my way to your words. :P

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKay S

I love the post and the quotes. But I NEED your guidance. Is the fan edible? Which ones are freehand? Are there details I missed? As much as we have fun here, your cake knowledge is encyclopedic while mine is remedial. Allow me the benefit of seeing through your eyes.

August 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterknittedbooties

As a mom diligently working to educate my kids in fun cult-movie quotes (ha!), your blog has been indispensable! But today you surpassed all with the Mrs. White quote!! Since my kiddos are the only tweens I know regularly spouting Clue gems, with this one being a favorite, we fell in love with the blog all over again. 💜

August 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I found myself ignoring the cakes in favor of the quotes. Well played! I was a little disappointed not to see anything from Joe vs. the Volcano.

August 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

Is that a baby shower cake between the baby changing device and the six locks? That's just wonderful. Might be my favorite ever. The presentation, the color scheme - simple elegant. Just ... Wow.

In contrast to the belly baby shower cakes you posted today which are breath-takingly stomach turning. I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would make/want such a cake.

Anyway back to this post, all of these cakes are beyond gorgeous, and the commentary was extremely entertaining! Especially the CLUE quote which I could hear in my head but couldn't place until Vanessa's helpful post.

August 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I thought I was having a stroke there for a minute.

August 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

I miss your commentary. These are beautiful!

August 22, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

And now I am off to buy more locks...

August 22, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

It is not a towel, dear lady, it is a kilt.

August 23, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMJ

Hey, that 9th cake down is our wedding cake (happily ever after bird cake)! Indeed by Rosebud, we still have the topper! We loved it and it is blast from the past to see it here!

(We just passed our 8th anniversary, I'm glad our cake is still stylish almost a decade later!)

August 23, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBronwyn

Seconding everything Kay S said (far better than I could say). You are wonderful.

“I’m going to give you a little advice. There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.”

August 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

You used one of my favourite quotes from Clue! I love it!

August 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Seconding and thirding other commenters when I say I actually really enjoy your (complimentary and often fawning) commentary on Sunday Sweets. You tend to point out aspects I've missed or highlight techniques I wouldn't necessarily be thrilled by because I'm not aware of the work involved. Wrecks are wreckier when they're contrasted with examples of higher quality and loftier ambitions. I think the ones you choose generally demonstrate the heights to which certain pastry projects can be elevated, and are often better than a lot of portfolios you see in pastry, sugar, and decorating courses.

August 29, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMook

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