Wednesday
Aug032016
The Incredible, Non-Edible, Plastic Clown Head
August 3, 2016 It's time to talk about the most versatile tool in a baker's cake-decorating arsenal:
The plastic clown head.
A history made even more colorful when the clown-headed pink dog is pooping a giant pink rose.
Devotees of the Wilton brand know this staple of cakey flotsam has a long and colorful history:
A history made even more colorful when the clown-headed pink dog is pooping a giant pink rose.
(So, in his defense, this clown's poop really does smell like roses.)
Over the years, the plastic clown heads have really gotten around:
And around...
And...around:
After all, they were so darn versatile!
I mean, what better way to perk up your flowers?
Or add a lively accent to that jungle theme?
Think of it as Bozo's version of Easter Island.In fact, this time honored tradition continues today, only with slightly more modern sensibilities:
Death becomes him.
And the sprinkles aren't bad, either.
Yep, you could say today's Wreckerator knows just how to take these classic tools of the trade and use them to their fullest and most meaningful...uh...
I'm sorry, but do these uteri look funny to you?
Hey! Guys! What are you doing here? Your post was back here!
Ovary funny: don't try cramping my style, funny guys. I know a fellow peon's pro creation when I see one, period.
Many thanks to wreckporters Katie C., C.B., Hannah C., Penny H., Roisin O., Erica H., Meaghan W., & Melissa M., who think you should really read that last line out loud. Just...'cuz.
Reader Comments (36)
Clowns are NEVER a good idea. NEVER.
Now if there's a smile on my face
It's only there 'cause I'm made of plastic
So while I'm sitting on this cake
I'm feeling pain that's really drastic
I'm sitting here in globs of frosting
Looking glad is so exhausting
Really I'm sad, oh I'm sadder than sad
These cakes are a mess and so bad
Plastic clowns must appear to be glad (sad, sad, sad, sad)
We've seen some sad things on a cake
But it's oh so hard to fake
The smiles of a clown when it just wants to frown
Ha ha ha. Clowns are funny.
SuBee wins! You have done it again my friend, BRAVA! I just wish these bakers would stop clowning around long enough to realize their wrecks are creepy enough without adding creepy clown heads. I shudder.
They're DEAD, JIM! They're dead!… look at their eyes; nothing but X's. (just like in A Christmas Story)
Finally finished reading Stephen Kings It. Came to Cake wrecks and saw demonic clown uteruses. Well that's it for sleeping over the next week or three.
Burning questions:
1) Why are the Clown Uteri turd brown?
2) Is that first one actually a clown-faced dog pooping a rose, or is it El Seed's cousin Rosario, wearing a clown-head codpiece and pooping balloon-sperm?
3) Why are the Clown Loa and the monkeys in what is clearly a mountainous, deciduous forest?
4) How many "uterus" puns does one need in one sentence?
5) What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Arghhhh! Those clown heads are the stuff of my nightmares!
Found a box of these at work the other day that I had labeled
scary clown heads and shoved on the back of a shelf. I threw
them away.
No need to egg you on. So many puns go down the tubes buy yours, like a cheap cupcake, sticks to the wall. <pregnant pause> And yet so humble, you never get swollen with the fruit of your (literary) labors.
Clowns are scary AF and should never come in contact with the heaven of buttercream. Ana, you did the right thing!
The last email features an item that I think should be called a Pooterus.
Very punny ending :P
Wait! Monkeys live on ski slopes among pine trees?
I love clowns. I have a collection of clown music boxes in my bedroom and a Red Skelton clown print on my wall. But bleeding clown uteri on a cake? My mind reels. What kind of person can inflict such suffering on a poor, innocent cake? I may never sleep again with all the accusatory clown faces staring at me.
Why does everyone hate clowns so much? Clowns make you laugh.
Long ago, when I was taking Wilton classes, I was working for the local public library. My mom was taking classes with me and since we didn't need that much cake in the house I would take my practice cakes to work for break time. When we learned how to make Wilton style clowns, one of the librarians immediately named my cake "The Stephen King cake." It was a well deserved title.
Well. That's some good nightmare fuel.
Plastic clown heads,
Sock monkeys,
Ventriloquist dummys,...
...all creepy.
*Pooteri
Yes, the last crop of crap clowns DO look funny to me--thanks for asking...I'm also a bit worried...If a customer comes in a big hurry and needs a clown cupcake fix (it happens ALL THE TIME), they may be in such a tizzy that they could trip over their big clown feet and the cupcakes could fallopian all over the place. Oh, the calamity! =^-.-^=
Sooooooooo agree with KimS and Brieanne - NO clowns puhleeze! Too creepy. Especially on CAKES! Yech! I'm afraid that, for the most part, clowns do NOT make me laugh and besides as another poster pointed out - THEY'RE ALL DEAD! DEAD! Definitely DEAD CLOWNS are on the no-funny list!
Bravo SuBee - HILARIOUS. I'm still snorting! Too funny.
@BADkarma:Your mother was a hamster & your father smelt of elderberries!
So, as a German reading your blog: Those are very prevelant during our version of mardi gras... the funny thing is, they are used to decorate a sort of mini-cake, filled with jam and buttercream and come in a variety of different designs. I remember, when I was in Elementary school, having a comlete "set" was considered an accomplishment. So we would very carefully clean those styrofoam heads and keep them for a few days until our parents threw them away... ^^ I sometimes eat those cakes just for the nostalgia but they are almost unbearably sweet.
When I took cake decorating lessons, two clown heads came in the supply kit for whatever reason. I think decorators use them out of obligation.
Send in the clowns,
There has to be clowns
Don't bother, they're here,
I don't have anything against clowns (my husband is a volunteer clown) but that carousel of clowns cake is really disturbing me.
No they don't, Nancy. No they don't.
@BadKarma: Is that a European sparrow?
Poor Monkeys. Not only is his/her jungle birthday cake suffering from "clownus interruptus," but he or she got stuck with the name "Monkeys!"
Those clown heads were on my first birthday cake. I'm having terrible flashbacks...
Those things should be banned from every bakery and birthday party around the globe. Clowns = Creepy. Even before "IT".
Hahahahaahahaah! Yes they do Vicki! Yes they do! Hahahahaahahha!
I think that clown on the second to last (green) cake has Zika.
Nerts! Jen beat me "poo" it.
You've featured poo-wangs for years, so why not poo-wombs?
I looked at this on my phone, so with the screen small I didn't notice the clown heads on that first cake, so.... Yeah, it looked to me like a giant squid wearing baby booties.
Nothing beats having cakes with dead clowns on them.. this post has me laughing and wanting to hide under the bed at the same time lol. I really hate clowns. Sadly these clowns were on my first birthday cake as my mom happily showed to me.. so glad I was only one lol.