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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Feb052016

Friday Favs 2/5/16

Some of my favorite new submissions this week:

 

Anna writes, "I spelled it out three times for them over the phone."

See, there's your problem right there, Anna: that you had to spell it in the first place.

 

This bakery display has really captured the zeitgeist of winter:

 

That inexplicable feeling when your baker replaces almost all of the Rs on your cake with Cs:

I am so confused cight now, you guys. Foc ceal.

 

Here's this week's moment of someone-was-paid-to-do-this-like-on-purpose-no-really:

A demented smiley face...

 

WITH...

...pink sperm on its head!

It's a great day for America, e'erbody.

 

And last but not least, a tail of beauty:

 

...and a tail of WHOA:

So sorry, Sarah H. I hope you didn't shell out a lot of clams to make this to scale. :D
(Sea what I did there?)

 

Thanks to Anna H., Kathryn D., Martin G., Kristi W., Gisele M., & Sarah H. for the "mermaid-to-order" wreckage.

*****

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Reader Comments (35)

Undec the rea, undec the rea
Dacling it's bettec down whece it's wettec
Take it fcom me
Since it's too wet down hece foc rakes
Thece is no chance to make mistakes
So just be phankful, rakes rant get mangled
Undec the rea

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Obviously "smow" is something similar to tar, specially designed to stick to snowmen without melting them.

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterElissa

And these people want 15/ hr?

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I am an experienced reader of CakeWrecks. My mouth was empty and my coffee cup was firmly on the table before I started scrolling and reading. Bwahahahahahaha!!!! Excellent start to a Friday!

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

I don't know if any of you read the "Cul de Sac" cartoon strip, but I think those things on the second cake are "sooties', mysterious creatures who live inside the mounds of dirty snow on parking lots, waiting to pounce on unwary shoppers. They also shove stray grocery carts into parked cars.

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

As a high school teacher who is just starting to see students who were not taught cursive in early grades in exchange for learning keyboarding, I know that what appears to be a replacement of r's with c's is actually a futile attempt to connect letters in manuscript print into something which vaguely resembles cursive. I see it all the time.

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJanet

The last one looks exactly like it's made of play-dough & just about as appetizing!

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuzannah

@SuBee hit it out of the park again!

When I saw the demented smiley face, I thought that Big Bird from yesterday had been attacked by maggots.

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Is it just me or do the 'sea shells' on the second cake look like boxing gloves?

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

And I just bet (well, not really bet, but, you know) that if you said "Tango-Hotel-Alfa-November-Kilo Yankee-Opera-Uniform", that's exactly what you'd get. No matter how insane it sounded.

Those hats... those hats remind me of the Ruin from Alice: Madness Returns.

The worst part is, they got an "r" right, there, so... oh, wait, that's an "n", isn't it? ...Okay, now I'm confused. Dean Martin has been dead for 20 years. So: 1) Someone's a little late, aside from the aforementioned Mr. Martin. 2) Someone named after him has left. 3) An actual dean named or surnamed Martin left his position. 4) It was an "r" all along, as in "Farewell, Dear Martin.

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

What is REALLY sad about the second cake is "dear" is spelled correctly. If the decorator did the other two right - it's be a simple cake but not wrecked.

Same with "Phank you." Shame really - person has nice icing-enship. (I know - not a word).

The rest??? Why???

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMelmac

Nothing says "Let It Smow" like demon-bats perched on top of smowmen.

Actually, the chocolate chips in the cookie do give a nice effect of falling... something. Dirty snow? Let's go with that.

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Smow = smog + snow

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCybrczch

Actually, I thought those pink things were leeches rather than sperm.

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAziza!

Wow. Now we have to spell "thank you." Sigh. . . .

The yellow cake gave me a much-needed laugh -- especially the sperm on top! I guess you can't decorate too much, can you?

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

My patronous is SuBee

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJessi

Are the smowmen in the witness protection program?

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterA Luke

Cheers for the Craig Ferguson shout out!

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMary M

Does anyone else see the back ends of rats I stead of eyeballs on the "demented smiley face" cake?

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKA

Just when you think things can't get worse ... (head-desk).

And Facewell, Dear Mactir. Facewell.

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

You know what makes me sad? To know that I probably won't ever get a facewell or smow or phank you cake. Mine will probably say ordinary things. Oh, but I yearn.......

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

I'm thinking the yellow one was supposed to be the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It looks more like mac-n-cheese than spaghetti though.

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCyndyG

I do have to say one thing, though-- I feel that with the last cake, the baker at least made some kind of actual attempt. Think of the work involved with creating all the itty bitty circles! So many cake wrecks clearly come from sheer laziness. They TRIED.

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnise

The 'demented smiley face' - is it just me, or do those things look like a drawing of a human egg? This means the sperm are swimming and trying to impregnate an egg. No?

February 5, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterjune7

I am actually guessing that the yellow cake had brown ovaries and fallopian tubes that the sperm are headed towards. Why yellow? Don't know. Why every colour chosen actually.

February 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSusie Silver

You guys sincerely made my day with comments. Awesome!

February 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSonya

Wow did it snow tar on the poor snowmen? I am also surprised that not all the R's were replaced just to finish that poor cake off lol.

February 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Personally, I think the little sperms are swimming towards ovaries. I find it hard to believe there is a smiley face in there anywhere!!!!

February 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea in Austin

They put the mermaid scales on facing the wrong way! Had they only done that, it would have looked so much... not quite so terrible.

February 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlexa

Alas, pooc Mactin! I knew him, Hocatio!

The "handsy" effect on the second Mermaid cake, combined with the idea that that is supposed to represent a torso, is a little creepy. Hey, pecvect, we could have you accested!!

*awkward pause*

*runs off to dance with Secretariat*

February 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

@Elissa So it's another name for Oobleck?

I hope we have a brave boy to help end the mess available!

February 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

That first one, was it done by a baker named Phteven?

February 6, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdr handle

Sure, the snowmen misspelled "snow." But tarring and feathering them is a bit extreme, don't you think?

February 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCeci

Anyone else half relieved, half disappointed that Martin didn't have a nickname like, say, Runt? ;D

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGrĂ¡inne

The mermaid cake is just...I can't! Nothing is done right! Bakers, please, please, for the love of sanity, if you don't have the skills or knowledge to make a requested cake, just say no! (Although we wouldn't have Cake Wrecks then...) ;)

April 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

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