Get It Together, Bakeries
October 27, 2016 Wrecky minion Aryn took this photo last Sunday, October 23rd:
;)
OCTOBER 23RD.
So this bakery is selling Christmas cakes two major holidays before Christmas. Which would be awesome for pranking that friend who passed out after drinking too much, but otherwise... da heck?
And if you think Christmas Creep is bad, wait'll you see Easter Creep:
;)
A pink Easter Egg cake... made October 19th.
Because it's never too early to stock up on "decorated" egg cakes in October, you guys.
It actually gets worse when bakeries try to be seasonally appropriate:
;)
Orange icing + crappy turtle pancake = "Fall!"
;)
White pointy-headed "ghosts" + anything = FAIL!
Seriously, let's talk about all the ways this is a bad idea.
;)
Oh yes, please, put them on white cupcakes. THAT HELPS SO MUCH.
Speaking of not helping, you know how all the creepy clowns in the news have McDonald's hiding Ronald and Target pulling costumes?
;)
This was also spotted last week.
[head desk]
Although at least the clown is recognizable. What about this thing?
;)
It was out last week, so... Dapper Halloween Alien? Count Unibrow? Evil Mystic Muppet?
Oooh, "Evil Mystic Muppet" would be an awesome band name.
Thanks to Aryn W., Elizabeth C., Robbie C., Anony M., Julie R., Alexa M., & Jenny E for reminding us it's just two more months 'til Christmas.
*****
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Reader Comments (53)
That creepy clown cake has to be the UGLYEST thing I've ever seen. (And considering how long I've been hanging around here, that's saying something.) Do you think the Dapper Clown is supposed to be the face mask for Anonymous?
And we won't even go into the KKK Kupcakes. Yuck!
Actually, I think I can identify that last one. It's a not particularly well-done Guy Fawkes mask (you know, the guy that V in the movie "V For Vendetta" was based on?) And since Guy Fawkes Day is November 5, it's at least semi-seasonal. But Guy Fawkes Day/Bonfire Night is mainly celebrated in the UK, so unless that's a British cake, I agree customers would be saying "Da heck?"
PUUU-LEEESE! That last one is one-o them thar decorated egg shapes!
Last one looks a lot like Phanto from Mario 2.
My immediate thought for the last cake was: Dishonorable attempt at a Kabuki mask.
That last cake is obviously Ming the Merciless, the villain from 'Flash Gordon'. Ming famously said,
"I'd much rather see you on my side, than scattered into... atoms. "
(mwaahaahaahaa)
I think the last pic is a take off on the Guy Fawkes mask that seems to be popping up everywhere - especially in the form of protest against.... PayPal, the Klan, the CIA etc..... see below link. I've always found this maks particularly creepy.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/anonymous-how-the-guy-fawkes-mask-became-an-icon-of-the-protest-movement-a6720831.html
I'm trying to wrap my head around the non-decorated egg sitting on Halloween-themed paper. So strange and.. inappropriate! And Christmas cakes... NOW? Or worse yet... LATER? So...... you freeze them until Christmas? Oh boy! How yummy will that be?
I speculate that they are practising. As soon as Diwali, Halloween, Remembrance Day, and American Thanksgiving are out of the way they'll have to ramp up on Christmas cakes, so why not try a few now to see how it goes?
Those pointy meringue/buttercream ghosts always remind me of certain white-pointy-hooded people and make me very uncomfortable. I will take sperm ghosts over racist ghosts every time.
The Christmas Creep is getting more and more brazen. We've got Black Friday shopping starting the day before Black Friday, Home Depot having a bigger selection of Christmas decorations than Halloween decorations, and now this. Why cakes?! Do they really expect us to keep these lying around for two months?! How long before they start expecting us to line up on December 26th to start shopping for next Christmas?! Enough is enough! Don't they realize that one of the things that makes the holiday season special is its BREVITY?! When the season only lasted a few weeks, it truly felt special and we were motivated to enjoy it while we still could. NOw it just goes on and on and on and on to the point where we're burned out before December, and we cannot opt out because you HAVE to love Christmas or there must be something WRONG with you. What was once a joyful tradition has degenerated into a miserable chore that emphasized greed and conformity rather than love and charity. Christmas used to make the slog through winter bearable, but now it's just one more thing to dread about it.
Sorry for the rant. I just had to get that off my chest. Back to the dumb cakes.
#1 - Did anyone go back a week later to see if these cakes are still in the display? Just curious.
#2 - the best part of this wreck is the juxtaposition of the pink Easter egg on top of black skull shelf paper. Brilliant!
#3 - OMG! Which one of the Ninja Turtles was run over by a steam roller? Please tell me its not Mikey!
#7 - OK, I can sort of see the Guy Fawkes/Anonymous mask in the final cake, but why does it have blue 5s and 6s on its scalp? Just Why?
I thought the ghost cupcakes weren't that bad. They should probably be a little less pointy, but I kind of liked them....
Not only is that pink 'Easter egg' way too early, but it's also not particularly yellow as stated on the label!
I really was thinking that last cake was a poor attempt at Ron Jeremy Halloween humor... ;)
Last one appears to be a Guy Fawkes mask...if designed by a stoned out of his mind dude whose idea of protesting is making videos about how there are chemtrails and computer chips controlling your brain :P
If you smoosh all the ghosties together you'll get a KKK CCC. *Double patoohie*
Are those some kind of blue hieroglyphics on that last one??O.o
Is that clown's hair on fire?
The last one is Mardi Gras Dali.
I wasn't aware he'd gone commercial.
=^¢.¢^=
That last one looks like Guy Fawkes ....sort of. He's a big player in Mr. Robot a TV show.
I am going to go out on a limb here and say I don't see that much wrong with the ghost cupcakes. If the points offend you, curl them around like the top of a Dairy Queen cone.
That last one looks very much like a luchador mask.
Took quite a while to work out the little ghost cupcakes. They remind Americans of KKK costumes. They just look cute to this Aussie, not wrecky at all.
Are you sure that's a clown and not Trump?
At first I thought, "Why not? Stores sell Christmas ornaments in the summer." Then I realized that the cakes probably wouldn't last months.
@mindy1 -
You mean chemtrails and computer chips AREN'T controlling our brains? Whoa.
I didn't realize it was possible to make KKK cupcakes!
4 and 5 are Klancakes - very scary!
RE the Racist Cupcakes: i actually didn't think of the klan until I read this post. The first thing that came to mind for me was, "Oogie Boogie" from "A Nightmare Before Christmas". Other than that they look like cute little ghosts. I do see where you're coming from, though. Stupid klan ruins everything.
To: TB Tabby: I AM WITH YOU!!!!
#1 & #2 Scary Thought: were the bakers trying to get a jumpstart on all the holiday baking? 'Cause if a 2+ month-old cake isn't a wreck, what is?!
Yeah, trying to see ghosts in #4 & #5, just seeing hooded Klansmen. Effectively scary, far from good taste. WRECK!
That last one reminded me of a painting. I found an image of the Gauguin self portrait here http://www.nga.gov/content/ngaweb/exhibitions/2011/gauguin-maker-of-myth.html
I mean, at least that easter egg one could be understandable if they were trying to make a brain and forgot to draw the like, swirlies on it.
But seriously? Christmas cakes? All ready? It's not like they're gonna keep that long!
^I meant already. Man, I've been on here too long.
I agree that the last one looks like the Guy Fawkes mask I've seen around. What doesn't look right is the red gash on the left of his face. That's just a little too graphic for any holiday, even Halloween. blech. As to the Christmas cakes, I assume the bakery staff was just bored and went with the holiday they knew how to approach no matter how long the cake would have to hold. Just a guess.
Going back to the Christmas cakes- is the one on the top right surrounded by twizzlers and covered in jelly beans? I think my holiday just exploded.
Hurrah for TB Tabby and TriciaL! The last one is another Easter egg, incognito.
The last one is a perfect representation of Zoltar from the movie Big. 😂
Well that clown cake has me laughing so hard. I would probably smash it into the creepy clowns running around town. That would take care of them and the creepy cake too hehe.
So the last one reminds us of Sir Graves Ghastly, who used to host a TV show in the Detroit MI area.
Ooo, I know the last one! It's Senor Jaundice from ... oh, wait ... that's just in my head. Don't mind me, carry on folks.
I thought the last one was Voldemort dressed up for Halloween . . .
You think the Christmas cakes are premature, I drove by 2 houses at 5 a.m. this morning here in East TN that had lighted Christmas trees in the windows. Not businesses, but peoples homes.
1) Agree, way too early for Xma$$. I *have* seen long-keeping winter holiday cakes: fruitcakes coated with rolled-out sheets of marzipan. The cakes in that picture looked like standard eat-it-up-quick party fluff.
2) The "yellow cake" refers to what's under the icing. And it's sitting on a gold-foil plaque; the Halloween skulls are on the lower shelf. Still ... what would hatch out of it? (They sell costume/decorative tentacles on Etsy.)
3) Non-epic Fall Fail.
4) These really look KKK. 5) More like Dairy Queen.
6) With TriciaL on this one -- appetite kill.
7) Didn't know Guy Fawkes had so many offspring/derivatives! There, who says comments aren't educational?
The first thing I thought of for that last one was "The Master" from "Manos: The Hands of Fate." Appropriate inspiration for a Wreck, I suppose.
@ Jake and me, thanks much for mentioning the twizzler-sided, jelly-bean-topped wreck...otherwise, I was going to have to do it <g>.
please, can somebody explain to me how come that for bakeries #2,3,6 and 7 qualify as DECORATED CAKES and a can be SOLD? I mean: there decorations that might not be trendy now, like those of wedding cakes from the 70s full of plastic bridges, way too many meringue, etc, but these are just plain bad done. If I see one of those cakes at a bakery I guess I would´t buy them anything.
There's a house in my town that decorates its yard with ghosts every year that look just like those cupcake ones.Yeah, if you drape a sheet over a pole without something to round out the head...it doesn't read "ghost" from the road.
I'm not sure what the last one is, but I'm not buying the Guy Fawkes mask theory. The face should be white (not yellow), there should be a goatee/beard/soul patch, and it doesn't explain the curly blue hairs or the streak of red on one cheek. My first thought was Strong Bad, but when I checked, his mask is red, not yellow. The luchador mask seems like the most promising theory.
@Emily Z: I agree that the traditional Guy Fawkes mask has differences from the last creation, but I Googled (ah, the wonder of Google--how did I ever do school reports with only encyclopedias; anybody remember doing that?) "Guy Fawkes mask modifications", where the idea is that you take a widely-available mask & customize it for Halloween. Perhaps that's what they were going for? But the practice is not well-known enough for most people to get it, so....I dunno.