Wreckage Of Unusual Size
September 30, 2015 In honor of the 28th anniversary of one of the greatest movies of all time, I'd like to tell you a story.
It's a story of the man in black:
;)
Who may or may not look like the Noid from those old Domino's commercials.
And also a beautiful princess:
;)
It's a tale of fencing and fighting,
;)
of torture and despair,
;)
"I've just sucked one year of your life away.
Now I need a glass of milk."
...of chases, escapes, and, of course, twoo wuv.
;)
Also known as "Twoo huv"
There's also a subplot of a son avenging his father's murder.
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to... What's this? A cake?"
;)
"Oooh, are those cherries?
I mean, uh...
Prepare to die.
And also pass me that fork over there."
Together, our heroes will defeat an evil prince, a wily Sicilian, a six-fingered man...
;)
and, of course, Rodents Of Unusual Size.
;)
"Hi."
;)
"Btw, you may want to watch out for those popping noises. Trust me."
Bye bye, Jennifer B., Emily M., Jefferey W., Colin & Jen, Jan Y., Jennifer W., Nicole V., Rysha M., & Melanie H.! Have fun storming the castle!
Oh, and before I go: Anybody want a peanut?
;)
*****
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Reader Comments (52)
Wrecks are pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
Princess Bride!!!!!!!!!!
As I wish.....
Love, love, love Princess Bride references! You made my day. Especially with the 6-fingered man cake!! :)
…so, we have a dead dud, and a Happy All +Tax Birthday?!? Cryptic, eh what?
Ahhhhh the Princess Bride, BEST movie of all time! (Although the "beautiful princess looks more like Miss Piggy than Princess Buttercup).
* Think they can sell these cakes?
* It would take a miracle.
I looked at that brown ROUS and underneath it saw "pooping noises". #headdesk
But when the baker said "as you wish", what we really meant was....
Cake Rodents of unusual size?
I don't think those exist!
I'm ashamed to admit, I didn't get it until the "Inigo Montoya" bit. Then I had to go back and re-read everything, and it was just perfect. Hard to believe I was only 7 when the movie came out, though. I remember watching it in my teens pretty much every time it ever came on TV.
Favorite bit, that I wish you could have found wrecks for:
"I'm going to call the Goon Squad."
"I'm ON the Goon Squad."
(look him over) "You ARE the Goon Squad".
Bat-Noid Nananananah BAT-NOID!!!
True blave.
Carey Elwes -- my movie boyfriend -- oh how I love thee!!
I laughed out loud at the ROUS cake!!!!!! (I'm supposed to be reviewing an Emergency Operations Plan, so that was very bad!)
I'm also sorry about the dead dud.
No need to be sorry for dead dud. "He's only mostly dead."
Where are the princess's hands?
I think the Rodent of Unusual Size cake would be very appropriate at a viewing party for this film! And lots of peanuts :)
Not my gum drop buttons!!
@Shirley: I read, "Happy Bill & Ted Birthday Desiree". That sounds like more fun than taxes, anyway. I thought the peanut was supposed to be a sanitary napkin and it was going to say something like, "Happy First Blood Birthday Desiree". Hey, still a movie reference!
Do you hear that? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when I picked up this wreck.
The peanut's hoo ha is showing...
I used to know a six-fingered man. For real!
Perhaps the ROUS reached its unusual size because one of its parents is a bison?
While the movie is amazing, you must go back and read the novel by William Goldman if you're a serious fan. It is laugh out loud hilarious. (And the comments in brackets... oh, the commentary.)
"Gold" CCC (ptooie!)? I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Since the invention of the cake, there have only been five cakes that were rated the most passionate, the most pure.
None of those are shown here.
Why is that peanut so angry? :D
Unseemly stains succeed; which, nearer viewed
By microscopic arts, small eggs appear,
Dire fraught with reptile-life; alas, too soon
They burst their filmy jail, and crawl abroad,
Bugs of uncommon shape ...
Thomas Grainger, _The Sugar-Cane_, II.18-22
To the Pain!
Even with the Batman plastic disks, I kept seeing the "Anonymous" mask in the first one.
Squinting at cake order form:
"Bow...purse...okay, ok...hmmm"
Squinting harder
"Happy (RI+Tax) Birthday..."?
"Happy (AI+ Tax) Birthday..."?
"Happy (All 4 Tax) Birthday..."?
"You know what.."Happy @$#! Birthday Desiree' ...here's some tulips. Happy now?"
Is that... a gingerbread man made out of cupcakes?? Midgard has never made less sense to me! Also, Highness, I'm going to need you to kneel...
It would be kinda awesome if the Star Wars one omitted the figurines and had the stars holding the light sabers.
@Karli, you're right! How could I have forgotten that he's only MOSTLY dead! I'm relieved for the dud.
And, @Carly B, I have read that wonderful book! I even sent away for the part which William Goldman said you had to send away for if you wanted to know that part of the story. I received the funniest (form) letter from him, apologizing that the lawyers would not let him disclose it, etc.etc. etc. (I find that even more amusing now that I'm a lawyer!)
I laughed so hard at the poster above who said they read "pooping noises" under the ROUS cake! Also, alas, the ROUS cake is missing its fangs!
There is a shortage of perfect cakes in this world. 'Twould be a pity to destroy...nah, go ahead and destroy any of these wrecks. They're far from perfect. But, save me a piece of the ROUS cake! And the six-fingered cookie!
BEST. POST. EVER. That is all.
One of the best movies of all-time. If any of you are near A Cinemark theater next week they're showing the Princess bride on Sunday and Wednesday. If you happen to be in the Quad Cities, you'll see me there!
Now that I have laughed myself into a coughing fit, I have to ask: these cakes are supposed be in celebration of THAT movie? INCONCEIVABLE!!
I think this may be my new favorite post. :-)
Pass me a spoon, not a fork! It hurts more!
Boo! Boo! Boo! You had true hove in your hands, and you wrecked it up!!
Oh you Wreckie Minions! I love you all so much- I too thought "not the gumdrop buttons!" and howled at pooping noises- so appropriate for "THOSE" ROUSes.
Great post, at least you didn't say it was about kissing
I wonder if any of these wrecks are laced with iocaine...
"Farmboy, fetch me that pitcher ... I wish to douse all of these 'cakes'."
You keep using that wreck. I do not think it looks how you think it looks.
I sincerely hope that ROUS is a red velvet cake.
Different movie reference, but still a movie reference.
(1) Why is Batman wearing a Guy Fawkes mask? OCCUPY GOTHAM!!
(2) Why, oh why, oh why, would anyone put a blow-up sex doll on a cake??
INCONTHEVABLE!!!!
Cary Elwes just released a memoir on making the movie called "As You Wish" - definitely worth picking up! He does something not many actors do in their memoirs, which is totally keep the movie safe - it's a really, really positive book and knowing some stuff that happened makes the movie even funnier! Of course, sadly, there is no wreckiness in it (though a birthday cake is mentioned, so maybe that counts). :) Will you do Sunday Sweets on "The Princess Bride" this weekend? I know, I know... I wish, eh.
You are hysterical! I always crack up looking at Cake Wrecks! Thanks for the laughs, always!
I'm actually kinda digging the last cake, even though I cannot figure out the text between "Happy" and "Birthday". Please tell me it's peanut butter cake with strawberry filling and peanut butter frosting! Otherwise, how disappointing.
Oh how I love Princess Bride references. Lol loved this post so much :D
The ROUS looks more like a boar's head to me.
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You wrecked my cake. Prepare to...be posted on this website for everyone to laugh at.."