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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Oct012015

Sarcasm Awareness Month Gets Some "Greeeeat" Cakes

Yeeeah, if you could just look over these cakes and check them for sarcasm, that would be greeeeeeaat.

 

 

(It's supposed to be a lightning bolt. Somehow this is so much better.)

 

 

 

(DON'T TELL ME THIS ISN'T SARCASTIC, PARENTS.)

 

 

 

And my favorite, because it reads like pure poetry:

 

 

 

Thanks to Aubree G., Jennifer W., Carra O., Dwyn T., Katie W., Sara S., Lynn M., Martha Z., Tina P. for shining bright, like a diamond. SO BRIGHT.

*****

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Reader Comments (33)

…ER!

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Do we have any idea why Dylan gets a sinking feeling from turning 8 years old? I think Paw Ellis would be more of a candidate for that.

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Interesting wreck on the "congrats new parent" cake. Shouldn't it be "Bottles, diapers, pins" so the line will rhyme with "fun begins"?

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGoose

I hope the "Go" cake is filled with some sort of fiber supplement. It would be a perfect gift for a friend or family member who is constipated.

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGoggieGirl

I'm confused by why Stephanie needs spakle. If she's damaged, wouldn't bandages be a better option? Or are these people REALLY affectionate with their walls?

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Never seen a brown lightning bolt before.

And is Dylan, at eight years old, a fan of the movie Titanic? I doubt it.

My favorite is "Big Whoopie," because it actually looks like it is a big whoopie pie. So not a wreck, just truth in advertising.

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

Nobody ever got me a Happy Root Canal Cake. I feel so gyped. :(

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

From my youth in the Olden Days I seem to remember "Bottles, booties, diaper pins, This is where the fun begins" as two lines used in baby shower invitations and that sort of thing. Maybe that is what the decorator was thinking of on cake 6. (I am, of course, using the word "thinking" loosely!)

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDorothy

Thank you @Goose! I was thinking the same thing and came to comment, but you beat me to it. So it's a two-fer wreck. It's like a wrecky bonus!

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

That last cake now has Thriller going through my head. I wonder if dancing zombies would make the cake any better?

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

So "BiG BOY" gets a pink cake? Complete with lower case "i" in the middle of an upper case word, and a misused "your". Love it!

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Gross lightning, go, gross lightning!

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I don't think eight is too young to be a fan of a disaster movie.
What I can't understand is, given cake wreckers fondness for them, how the decorator missed the opportunity to drench Stephanie in spakles sparkles. Stephanie's more fun lit up like a Christmas tree, not plastered to the wall.

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

When ladies achieve a "certain age", their makeup tends to acquire a similarity to spackle, for "filling in all those little lines and wrinkles." So spakle on Steph, and smooth out all those "imperfections".

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I was so busy being impressed that they got the comma right in Stephanie's cake, it took me a few secs to realize she didn't sparkle.

@Goose and @Nagzilla beat me to it on the rhyme, and @Roxy Random and I are of one mind on the whoopie cake too. I guess that one would be even better with some obscene wang-like artwork included though.

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

i got it! Stephanie is a vampire!!!

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterWRyan

Does anyone know ANYONE who uses pins on a baby? No one has used diaper pins in the 21st century. No one.

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLynn Baber

Apparently Stephanie needs some encouragement to complete her big bathroom remodeling project. What the recipient of the "GO!" cake is being encouraged to complete, I don't need to know. But I suspect it involves the same region of the house.

And, oh, by the way:

"Bottles, booties, diapers, pins;

I don't know how to rhyme worth a darn."

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Stephanie, sometimes I doubt your commitment to Spakle Motion.

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

"Yes, I want a cake that commemorates the liberation of my ancestors." - "And what would that look like?" - "The sinking Titanic." - "Sir, I don't think that's historically accurate... the sinking of the titanic didn't liberate anyone..." - "Did I mention my ancestors were lobsters, loitering around in a big tank, waiting to be eaten by rich SOB's? Imagine their good fortune to have that ship take them home to the bottom of the sea! A crustacean miracle!"

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

Love the brilliantly sarcastic baby cake! The decorative little poo swirled border is the perfect touch! Screwed up verse notwithstanding, I wonder if it is the cake maker or the customer that has the wicked sense of humor! ROFL!

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah

A "Happy Root Canal" cake?

Is it too early to order my "Happy Partial Plates" crust-free pudding pie? They'll be done in three weeks.

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

Dylan's cake is awesome. I think he would be cool to hang out with.

Paw Ellis' cake gave me a Vincent Price earworm. No complaints. : )

@JMixx: LOL

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Wait, let me guess. Stephanie just graduated from a finishing contractor training program where she learned how to - you got it - use Spackle to prepare walls. Spakle on, Stephanie!

"Go (lightning bolt)" gave me a much-needed laugh! It's got to be a high-fiber cake, as Goggie Girl already stated!

I'm thinking the same thing as Lady Anne - Big Boy got a nice pink cake!

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

@Jodi, I also was shocked by the correctly-used comma. @Deborah, thank you. I hadn't noticed the "poo swirled" border until you pointed it out. Too funny. @Hairfish, you made me laugh. Thanks.

My $0.02 worth: It seems as if the "Go" cake should have been a "went" cake.

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjuice

I dunno about greased lightning, but it definitely looks like it would leave you feeling greasy...

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered Commentertgriff02

I'm surprised no one has pointed out the most amazing part of this post: Congratulations is actually spelled correctly on cake #7!

October 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Wow lol. Love that last one. These had me crying with laughter and wondering about the wreckerators sanity.

October 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Were the baby shower cake and the Paw Ellis cake made by the same person? The Paw Ellis cake is just crying out to read 'What a thriller, what a thrill, poor Ellis is over the hill'. That's assuming it's not a cake for a hillbilly, of course. If it is, then 'Paw Ellis' could be correct.

An 8-year-old can be interested in the Titanic without having been taken to a film containing strong language, nudity and sex. There's a great Titanic museum here in Southampton, UK, and others in Belfast and the US. Kids love disasters.

That root canal cake design is missing something. How about "This is how your teeth got so bad"?

October 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

I don't see a Dylan cake

October 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCcmc

oh, since when are diapers fun? hm - and also they didn´t get the rhyme right. should it not better have been:

bottle, diapers and pins
that is where the fun begins! ?????

all in all just a wonderful example of an "would it not better have been-"cake.

October 3, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterdani

I saw a Dairy Queen commercial on TV not long ago where a guy gets a Blizzard cake for getting a root canal, but I thought it was just a joke and that they thinks it's better to stick to "happy" occasions.

October 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLora

Hi all! It's Stephanie here!! Who knew this cake would end up here!! We howled with laugher when it was brought out!! It was for a book signing I was doing at a bead store. The book is Crystal Jewelry Inspirations by the Swarovski ambassadors. I'm a very sparkly person. Or so I thought!! Now I wonder if I WAS wearing too much makeup. Thanks for all the hilarious comments!!!!

October 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

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