The Way The Cookie Fumbles
December 3, 2015 I'll admit, it's not easy to wreck a cookie.
But where there's a will (and copious amounts of icing and edible images), THERE'S A WAY:
;)
Oy.
And since tomorrow is National Cookie Day, I figured I'd update you guys on my ever-growing collection of Ridiculously Decorated Gingerbread Men! (yaaay!)
;)
...because even after 7+ years, these things never get old.
;)
So many questions. So little clothing.
As always, my favorite designs tend to ignore the "man" part entirely:
;)
;)
Which can sometimes lead to awkward situations:
;)
Don't worry, Mr. Elephant, I'm sure NO ONE is looking at your trunk.
Let's give this one the benefit of the doubt:
;)
...and say it's a murder scene.
"Just a poodle claiming her latest victim, folks. Nothing to see here."
Speaking of which, I'm particularly fond of the heavy-falling-objects approach:
;)
You scream, I scream, he definitely screamed.
And just when you think they've milked this whole gingerbread man shape for all its worth, along comes an udder triumph:
;)
The gingerbread man has officially been cowed.
Thanks to Rebecca S., Jeannie W., Gary S., Mike H., Heidi R., Katie Q., Tom H., Letty B., & Rachel T. for the a-moo-sing finds.
*****
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
Reader Comments (42)
Oh the things I cannot unsee... what on earth was the wreckerator who made teh second one thinking?
That cow just made me realize a gingerbread man cookie would make an AM-A-Ziiiing wart hog!! Can you see it?? No? Ok. I'll go now.
Okay, so they're sugar cookies, not gingerbread, but that's probably the least problematic thing going here. Presenting, Zardoz cookies.
https://mlkshk-ada.kxcdn.com/r/XVQN
I saw the wart hog, too. I didn't even see the cow.
But the turkey? What were they thinking?
There's a Kings of Leon song about no.2, can you name it?
But that first gingerbread man looks so *happy* about his upstanding flaming poo-wang. Then again, his face looks a bit faeculent too...
Cookie Monster taught us that C is for cookie, but it's really for crap.
I bet the second one was intentional.
I really want to find a reason that these exist(ed) but can't. I just CAN NOT. I know I need to move on but...oh the horror! I just can't. Defeated by cookies. Sigh.
On a more serious note: Thank you Jen. Thank you for creating a place to laugh and be astounded at messes of flour and sugar in a world that is full of sadness and genuine evil.
Maybe the poodle has a man-skin rug? Fake, of course! She's not a monster.
That's the first thing I thought, @guest. Mr. Flaming Poo Wang cannot be an accident. It's much too classic Cake Wrecks.
Though some of the later gingerbread men are Wreckier, the one that made me do a facepalm was the one with the Thanksgiving turkey coming out of his stomach. Have these bakers no shame? (Apparently not). :-)
My brain can't get around the idea of totally ignoring the person shape of the cookie, and decorating it with whatever the heck they feel like. 'Thinking outside the box' getting taken a little too far here, bakers!
But thanks for the Zardoz link, bkd69 - there ARE worse things that could go on man-cookies...
That gingerbread man with the flaming turkey poo wang CAN"T be accidental!! Someone had to have done that on purpose, just to get a mention here.
Maybe that's why there are so many wrecks? Bakers want the fame of being noticed here?
And I'm going another way with the poodle...he's just lying on his manskin rug. (although "manskin" does sound pretty suggestive, if you know what I mean)
But... but... it would be so simple just to make them square or circular and draw stuff on. Not *better*. Just, you know, simple.
@Core24 "what on earth was the wreckerator who made the second one thinking?"
Do you really want to know? I'm pretty sure that is something that can never be erased from the human brain.
D is for dookie; it's bad enough for me...
Thanks for the inspiration! Everyone should have a turkey poo-wang gingerbread man.
I thought the dog cookie was really cute. It should go to someone who gets flattened by their happy dog every time they come home from work!
Second picture:
Step 1: Cut a whole in the
BoxTurkey.Considering this year's turkey cake / Facebook debacle that second one is extra funny. I hope you have more of these, Jen, because this is my favorite post this week.
i'm just going to tell everyone that the gingerbread man cookie in picture #2 is trying to poop a turkey/has a genetic disorder
They need to invest in some more cutters. Give the man a break.
That's not a cow. It's a warthog. See those tusks just above its nose?
@ Squirrel Girl, I know what you are thinking ... and I like it! Holiday themed, too!
Pretty sure that last one was a Warthog...
Hakuna Matata!
Oh, that dog-on-gingerbread is definitely something macabre. I think they just got the colour a little off for the dachsund... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_-Gxl1iSL4
Wart-cow for the win!
As much as I am trying to unsee that first gingerbread disaster, all I can think is that he's a "poop" faced fire crotch. Ouch.
I'm so totally confused by this, I think I will go lie down. Why decorate a gingerbread person-shaped cookie as anything other than a gingerbread person?
1. Wow. Yep, someone found a way to make cookies I wouldn't eat.
2. Is that a turkey in your pocket, or are you just happy to be on CakeWrecks?
3. What IS that thing on the one-pupiled man in picture #3?? All I can see is an impaled angel! (And not the "Don't Blink" kind.)
4. My son and I have a bet - is the "character" in picture #4 an earless Easter bunny or a carrot-toting snowman? And either way, did he or the manflower leave the little green pellets at the bottom of the tray?
5. Aaaah!! Demon Unicorn-Lllama!!! I think this is one of my new favorite things.
6. Saaaaaaad Elephant. Holding a yellow ball??
7. The poodle is quite cute, if oddly placed. And if you look closely, there's another paw off to the left, so somebody thought this was a good idea - twice.
8. This raises the essential question... would you scream louder if you were smothered in ice-cream, or trapped under a daisy?
9. *Snort* *Moo* OK, that's second only to the Unicorn-Llama as funniest thing I've seen today.
I will now go mop up the spilled lemonade I should have known better than to be drinking while reading this post. I love this site!
My brain hurts! I can't comprehend this! I just can't! What the what?
On the 4th one down. Why is there a cookie design of a ?dog? rubbing his erect 'man part' with a carrot?
Oh no now the wreckerators have found a way to make me not want cookies! Noooo lol. Aw heck just flick off the frosting and eat them anyways. No wasting a yummy cookie due to insane decorating lol.
Other than being 'mounted' on the cookie in a suggestive manner, the poodle one is actually cute and fairly well-executed.
#2 "You should see how we stuff the turkeys."
#7 Other than being 'mounted' on the cookie in a suggestive manner, the poodle one is actually cute and fairly well-executed.
#2 "You should see how we stuff the turkeys."
#5 For some reason the phrase "My Little Pony/ Catherine the Great 'slash' fiction. . ." came to mind. {shudder}
#7 Other than being 'mounted' on the cookie in a suggestive manner, the poodle one is actually cute and fairly well-executed.
Happy National Cookie Day!
These "gingerbread men cookies" are some of the funniest things I've seen on CakeWrecks! (and there have been some wicked funny side-busters over the years). The Poodle Murderer (there's a Sherlock episode for you) and the Cow/Pig face are excellent! I'm absolutely in love with the half ice cream cone squashed gb man! I think I know how I'll be decorating my holiday cookies this year.... I'm imagining all the other things in my pantry that I could plop onto a gingerbread man cookie canvas.... hmmm, chickpeas, gummy worms or broccoli spears decorated cookies, anyone?
The blonde gingerbread man was born with only one pupil. Poor dude.
Does that ginger-cow have whiskers???! I kept looking at it and now all I see is some poor animal with a tiny black anded demon under its chin, squeezing its poor face!! AAAAAAAAGH!!!
The murder victim idea makes perfect sense!
TURKEY PENIS! POODLE KILLERS! Oh my gosh I laughed so hard that I got chest pains, nasal pains from snorting too loud and teary eyes. Usually I dont get this way over the wreckerators but this seemed to hit me just the right way I adore these so much! Thanks for making a rough week all better.
Girafficorns for the win!