Word To Your Mathar
May 9, 2014 This Sunday is Mother's Day, and bakers are here to help us tell Mom exactly how we feel:
;)
Only without all that namby-pamby decorative stuff.
"Flowers are a sign of weakness, kid. Now, shake your mother's hand and let's have some cake."
You've heard of "a rose among the thorns?" How about "a rose among the intestines?"
;)
Wow. Thank goodness they used all that frosting to glue cupcakes down in a random worm shape instead of making a repulsive "normal" cake, eh? EH? AhahahahaaaSOB.
Bakers know not all of us have mothers, though. Apparently some of us have Mathers:
;)
And still others, Mathars:
;)
But no matter what you call her, bakers know that special lady in your life really, really likes ugly purses:
;)
No, I mean REALLY ugly:
;)
Because ovaries.
So let's hear it for Mo!
;)
Mo is #1 because Mo understands the importance of finishing what you start... unless it's time for your lunch break.
Thanks to Michelle A., Anony M., Heather, Rachel H., Amanda B., & Kira G. for knowing mum's the word.
*****
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Reader Comments (30)
M-O-T-H-E-R (A WORD THAT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME)
Writers Howard Johnson, Theodore Morse
"M" is for Mo’s name, it’s T-H-ER free
"O" for o-va-ries, yaeh way to go!
"T" is for her tasty sweet intestines
"H" is for her screaming, “Oh, hell no!”
"E" is for her eyes with bleach she’s cleaning
"R" –I really failed the spelling bee
Put them all together they spell MOTHER,
Thank God, She never made a cake like these for me
M is for the Minimalist frosting
O is Offal cupcakes shaped like bowels
T is Trying out a different spelling
H is "How about we use new vowels?"
E is Every ugly purse I gave you
R's the Really ugly one this year
Put them all together they spell MOther
A word wreckerators hold dear.
Sharyn, SuBee, glad to see the CW hive mind is alive and well! :D
@SuBee: Jinx
And well done! (I had a feeling you might do this song...) :)
@Sharyn ...and I feared you'd do the same! I know my work can never stand up to a direct comparison.
I guess I owe you a coke (though I'd prefer to send you a margarita-the official beverage of Mothers' Day!)
Mmmmm margaritas!!
Why on EARTH would a ccc (ptooie!) cost $15.95?!! Especially THAT one!? Wow, those prices would never fly in my small town.
@SuBee: Yours looks good to me! Since mailing alcohol is frowned upon -- at least in some states -- why don't you have a margarita in my honor, and I'll have one in yours?
OK, everybody else!!! Time to submit your versions!!!!
Good lord sharyn and suebee are on the same wavelength :D as for those cakes, I think if anyone gave those to their mom they should be cut from the will O_o
Thanks for celebrating all the Mather's out there. I'm sure Jerry's mom appreciates it.
@SuBee ~ You had me at margarita!
That pink...intestine? With an enlarged appendix maybe?
That sixth picture. Did they airbrush an unfrosted cake? And then pipe on the outlines? That sure looks like what they did.
The wretched purple handbag seems to be a twofer: Hoppy Mather's Day! Maybe there's a frog jumping contest on Cotton Mather's birthday.
Hoppy mather! I guess that wreckerator is still in easter mood. :-)
@SuBee and @Sharyn, if this is a contest, then WE are the winners! Brava to you both.
Now to the intestine CCC (patooie). What is that even supposed to be?
You've got it all wrong. The Mathers Day cake is NOT a Mother's Day Wreck. It is for a celebration of all things Beaver Cleaver.
I'm a happy mathar, even if I don't own an ugly purse!
No, Mo is #42, right between Nb and Tc. Alternatively, it's #24, between ME and AR.
Happy Mathers Doy everybody!!
#2 was a custom CCC from Edward Nigma to his mother. It was supposed to be a question mark, to commemorate their shared love of riddles; but when the bakery botched it, Edward cracked....he just couldn't wrap his mind around how the baker could mess up something as simple as a punctuation mark, especially when they had done such a good job on the lettering & flowers....he left the bakery in an hysterical fit, laughing maniacally, screaming something about a green spandex unitard, and calling himself...the "Riddler".
M is for the Maternal love she showed to me
So here is a cake shaped like banana peels
A is for Another purse for your collection
Because only a wimp shows how he feels
T is for Ten minutes a year; that's your special time
The rest is just your job and it will never change
H is for Having fun yet, Mom?; burned pancakes on your lap
You clean the kitchen and I think the dog has mange
E is for Everloving orange? Brown? WHAT THE FROSTING?
Why did the baker think those colors looked appealing?
R is Right, it could be worse; instead of "#1 Mo"
They could have brought home the "#1 Ho"
(That's hard! And yes, I know I did mess up the poetic rhythm near the end; call it creative license.)
@Jodi, I agree Bout the margaritas!
However, my son and I are getting on a plane for Germany tomorrow, and we'll be landing Sunday morning. It's more likely that we'll have yummy German beer or wine. We are staying with my sister, and she's always open to margaritas, so we'll see.
We will, however, also enjoy the beautiful German pastries that look nothing like these. Guten apetit!
@ Sharyn and SuBee: ASTOUNDING!!!! Love the lyrics...you guys totally rock the Mathar's Doy!!! <snort>
and to all the rest of the Mathers "HOPPY MATHAR'S DOY" to you all, and I'm with Sharyn and SuBee- let's get that blender in gear, I've got the limeade and the salt...whose got tequila?
Have a great weekend my wrecker fiends...friends...
It's also possible that the second to last cake is not a cake at all, but an iced and decorated half cantaloupe, posing as a faux purse..
@Shayn and SuBee: twins...separated at birth....? Way to go, ladies!
@Jodee: congratulations on Aunthood! And best wishes to Mathar and son!
#1 Mo? I think Larry, Curly Joe, and Shemp might have something to say about that!
OK, if #2 is in fact a colon, which organ is the rose thing supposed to represent? The pancreas that will ultimately be destroyed by eating said cake? The spleen you wish you were punched in rather than having to look at that mess? A tumor? AAAAAAAAHHHHH! This is why I always take my mom to the ballpark. Even though Cracker Jacks look like li'l poopies, you at least know what they are and what purpose they serve.
Wow was mom not worth the last letter on that number one cake? Lol all they had to do was add the M and they would be done. Not our wreckerators. Apparently they think mom would like intestines and weird purses. Ah cakes.
For the intestines CCC (ptooie!), I read Jen's comment as "Hahahaha S.O.B" rather than sob, as in crying. Calling the wreckerator a curse name seems pretty appropriate. If I gave that to my mother, she would probably have a heart attack from laughing so hard!
I love your sense of humor, just cracks me up. Thanks for the laugh - I needed it.
my daughter often calls me mather, and i called my mom mo all the time when i was a teenager!