Just In Time For Mother's Day: Ten Uterus Cakes
May 10, 2014 This Mother's Day, why not surprise mom with something REALLY surprising?
;)
"It's supposed to be a uterus.
"SURPRISE!!"
Yep, what could thrill Momther more than an edible version of the thing you broke on your way out? (Er...sorry again about that, Mom.) And since uteri come in so many flavors (ew), here are nine more "inspirational" uterus cakes to really get those creative juices flowing. (Ewwwwsorry.)
Evil jester laughs at your feeble attempts to serve ice cream:
;)
See it? SEE IT??
Hunchbacked Basketball Player Can Dribble No Longer:
;)
Aw. Playa' got served.
Bullwinkle? Is that you?
;)
Ok, while I agree with Bonnie Burton that everything really is better with googly eyes, I still have to draw the line at making letters out of staples. Yowch.
"But, Oh-Cakey-Goddess-of-Most-High-Snark-and-Random-Sprinkles" you're saying, because you're finally using my proper title, "What I REALLY want to see is a tiny cake crawfish inside a cake uterus!"
Well, ok, but only because you asked politely.
;)
What's that? You want two slices? Yeesh. You're so shellfish.
Hey, remember that time when Dobby from Harry Potter tried to stifle a really, really big sneeze?
;)
"Accio CHOOIEE!!"
(I know; that was a real "light bulb moment" for me, too.)
Gosh, all this pink is getting kind of monotonous, don't you think?
Here, this should help:
;)
And that's how everyone learned that Jeannie was actually born a Smurf.
And now, a little "poetry:"
;)
Q: "Why did the lady blush during her sonogram?"
A: "Because she saw a fallopian!"
***
;)
***
Ahem.
Some people give their uterus a cute little pet name:
;)
(I'm seeing a cross between a Snork and a Fraggle. Please tell me I'm not the only one.)
Lola? Aw, that's sweet.
I bet Crampy McClots-a-Lot could kick Lola's butt.
And finally, the balloon-animal uterus you never knew you needed:
;)
You know, I never thought I'd like a uterus cake, but I've really taken a shine to this one.
Thanks to Laura A., Anony M., Erica O., Tanya S., Isabella, Dawn M., Sarah M., Nicki R., Sarah U., & Shelley T. for all the pro-creations.
Reader Comments (56)
I am speechless in a grossed out kind of way!!!!
Hey, nobody said having a baby was going to be a piece of cake...
OhMuh GAWD. This is so unbelievably tasteless (pun intended)! I can't stop laughing! Please make it STOP!!!!
Gotta be careful around those tunneling crawdads. Yeee-owch!
Okay, I adore those little pink carnation-looking cupcakes. I think they are Sunday-worthy.
My monitor got washed at "and that's how everyone learned Jeannie was actually born a smurf"
Yep, I saw the title in my blog roll and thought: "Dear heaven, no...."
Yet, like a car accident, I had to look, just as I looked at the foot post from earlier this week (and regretted it).
This isn't quite as bad but still...
A uterus that looks like a thong???
And that last one -- is it made of vinyl, or pleather?
I don't want to be seen as "hysterical", but if this is a trend, I'll hold on to my uterus, thank you very much!
Mommy? Where do crawfish come from??
Awww, I miss the Snorks! It was on right after Shirt-Tales, I believe!
That last one is "ribbed for your pleasure." EWWWW.
Good god. Can you imagine the "anatomically correct" cakes they will have for Father's Day?
(uhhh, on second thought, let's not go there)
It's nice to see Jeannie's IUD, too. Smurfy.
FYI, most of these cakes are "send-offs" for women going in for a hysterectomy. Namely, the basketball player, the Bullwinkle & the Harry Potter (Flo's fired). Because, you don't lose your uterus when you give birth! Jus' sayin'... =-)
A cake to 'celebrate' a hysterectomy or menopause? Why dear God? Why???!!!??
Does anyone else see that that blue one has an IUD?
The pink one with the flowers and cupcakes looks like pigtet and the last one looks like lobster
When I saw the bull winkle comment I laughed til I peed my pants.
I think there's been a slight misconception. Only 1 and 2 are actual Mother's Day cakes (and I'm not so sure about the first one). 3, 4, 6, and 9 are hysterectomy cakes (maybe that's why they are so funny?), 5 is a visual aid for a biology class, 7 is -- well, is it for Jeannie's birthday or the day that Jeannie gave birth?, 8 is a light bulb (a really pretty, frilly light bulb), and 9 is a retirement cake for a professor of ob/gyn.
The first one looks like a floating dress. The last one looks like a shiny thong. Shuddering about that other one I refuse to think about.
Um...these look like hysterectomy cakes, perhaps? I had two kids and I still have my uterus.
I don't think I'm unusual, either!
That said, GROSS! Cakes with internal organs on them! Bleahhh!
These are *hysterical*! Get it? Hysterical? You know, from the Greek word for uterus, hystera? Come on, folks, nerd up! The origin of the word "hysteria" is based on the belief that women would become anxious because their uteri weren't attached to anything and could appear anywhere in their bodies (and sometimes on a cake, apparently). I admit that seeing my uterus show up in random places would cause me to become a bit hysterical, too. Glad they found a cure for that.
wait! wait! Let's all take a moment to appreciate that the blue uterus cake actually has an IUD (!!!!) in it! Not sure what comment they were trying to make about Jeannie's birth control choices with that one...
I just want to publicly thank all my wonderful friends and family for *not* getting me a cake for my hysterectomy... o_O
O M G these were really created on purpose? So scary! Like the feet I couldn't look away. Love your descriptions and jokes.
did anyone else see the red '3' above the cake that looks like it's out of a textbook?
Will there be Penis cakes for Father's Day? (or as we like to call it - Falker Satherhood)
Crampy McClots-a-lot... Bwahahahaaaa
SATURDAY!
The first one looks like a trophy, first price for ???
the sad :( on the third cracked me up, and your Dobby comment made the M&M's dribble down my chin! (btw, thank you for that in the name of my daughters)
The happy Snaggle *you're not the only one* Thanks for this great weekendstarter!
(oh, maybe you should put a X-rate, not suitable for children and work warning on top... I mean, come on, uterusses??)
i wish i'd thought to make a cake for myself before my hysterectomy. these are a riot! i could have done at least as well, i think.
For the love of birth control, why is there an IUD in the Smurf uterus? I guess that's how Smurfette really made sure there was never another girl Smurf!
Lola is totally a Snork/Fraggle cross. And I just don't know what to make of that last one.
Hey now... naming something makes it easier to hate! I actually named my fibroid "Sven" and was happier thank Cake Boss with a spatula yelling at his sisters when I had it yanked! Sven caused me SOOOOOO many problems, heck.. the "eviction" was the easy part! I wish someone would have made me a cake for THAT. hehehe
Lola looks a bit like Cartman's Sea People from South Park.
Sitting here recovering from that very surgergy! This is not helping my Cheezits stay down!
This is gross. . . when would a cake like this EVER be appropriate and WHO would actually agree to make one? Ick, ack, ugh!
The ovary on the right side of the last photo looks like Audrey II from "Little Shop of Horrors." Quite appropriate, I think, since the wreckerators clearly wanted to scare the daylights out of us all.
The "balloon animal" one made me laugh, because one of my cramp descriptions is "a sadistic clown broke into my house and twisted my uterus into a poodle." :-D
Lola's so cute!!!!!!!!!1
O! No...... ;-)
In that last cake, does the ovary on the right have teeth? If so, WHY?!!?
Yeah, the cakes are kinda gross, but I gotta admit, I was ready to do some major celebrating after being liberated from my uterus. There must be some kind of drinking game I haven't heard of, but I would've settled for a cake--I was just so thrilled to have that thing out of my body.
In the 'Verse, that last cake is definitely not "shiny".
(Please let someone get that reference)
Ah - the Dr Karl uterus cake. (Im)famous among listeners to Australia's Radio JJJ.
Dr Karl won an Ignoble Prize for his research into belly button fluff.
That last one is how I'd imagine the Alien Queen's ovaries look in "Alien Resurrection." And they might produce little prawn-like offspring like cake #5. Of course in pink, because all mothers, even insect/human hybrid alien mothers who skewer people on a regular basis love pink.
You know, I actually just had a hysterectomy three weeks ago. I'm so very glad that no one got me a cake like this. Seriously. ewww.
About this uterus cake trend, may I just say, 'EWWWWWWWW!"
This post made me gag, and I basically dissect animals for a living. YIKES
The red one looks like a lobster haha.
Jeanie' s blue uterus kind of looks like a lamb... And then there's the Iron Man helmet...
As this is my first mother's day and my uterus is still recovering from expelling my darling baby boy, this post really speaks to me. In a very creepy sort of way.