8 St. Patrick's Cakes That Require Beer Goggles
March 17, 2014 TODAY, WE ARE ALL IRISH!!
;)
Yeah. Stay away from that guy.
Now listen, Wreckies, tonight while you're out ingesting all that green beer, I want you to remember: drinking-and-running-over leprechauns is NOT COOL.
;)
Guess he forgot his lucky charms.
That said, a little alcohol might help explain this:
;)
::head tilt::
Nope, I'm wrong.
Only a LOT of alcohol can explain this.
;)
Still don't know what they are, but I guess Trish has dibs.
And remember, boys and girls: seeing a giant beard with a popcorn mustache is fine:
;)
... but when the beard starts talking, it's time to call it a night.
Another way you know the party's gone too long?
When PBR starts making sense.
;)
No, not the beer - PBR is Roy G. Biv's cousin.
(Give it a minute.)
(Theeeere it is.)
And while we're on the subject, let's give pot a wide berth tonight, too, ok?
;)
'Cuz that thing looks nasty.
Oh, but look!
It's a St. Patrick's Day miracle!
;)
The dog turd is pooping a rainbow!
LUCKY US.
Thanks to Mindy W., Holly F., Sarah S., Lindsay J., Stephanie V., Mel M., Marlie B., & Christina R. for refraining from pinching one off.
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Reader Comments (34)
Sung to "Danny Boy"
Oh Danny Boy, your lips, your lips are pouting
Someone call Glenn, he killed a leprechaun
The pots of gold aren't looking very shi-i-ny
Trish you must choose, must choose. Go on decide.
The talking beard, with popcorn 'stache is dreadful
When PBR stars making sense we'll go
'Cause I don't care, that Pot O' Gold looks na-a-sty
Oh rainbow pooh, just ew. I hate you so.
Erin go blah...
That last one must be from one of those Volkswagen engineers pointed out during the super bowl.
Bejasus, begorrah and all that, happy St Patty's Day to all!
This clip is worth watching: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR5yDZO4nZE
Having been married to a true Irishman for 13 years, it reminds me of the first few times I met my father-in-law...
Top o' the mornin' to you all!
I don't know what's scarier about that first one...the fact that it's a ccc[ptooey]? The eyes? The lips? The hat? The collar? AAAiiiigh!
And, regarding #2, what does a piece of kale with some light green blobs of frosting on it have to do with the Irish?
PBR took me a few minutes to understand because the colors actually look like OBR to me.
PBR will never make sense, no matter how much green beer I drink...is that actually Pink? It looks more like Orange, or some weird "between" color that no one knows the name of...Also, why are there ice cream cones with nipples on the ice cream scoops? In number three, did the wreckerator frost PANCAKES? Well, it's after ten a.m.-- guess it's time to hit the St. Paddy's Day boiler makers, at least I won't care WHAT stuff looks like after a few shots of Irish Whiskey and Green Beer. <hic>
S'h'all goolngrhnngggrreech...<hic> What are we sheeing agin??? keepsh moving....<hic> zzzzzzzgggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnn
ungh
Sharyn, brilliant Danny Boy lyrics!
So now you're supposed to take gold coins into a black hole. And celebrate it with baked confections. OK.
I honestly thought those cookies were floating on top of a cake with white icing. Which made their sad appearance even sadder.
But the pot of pooh rainbow is the saddest of all. One final test before you get the gold? Ick.
Number 4:
Sorry, all I see is bloody penises with sadly fitting condoms.
Yes, yes we ARE lucky. Not only does the dog turd sprout rainbows (hrk) but......
we have Cakewrecks to start our day!! Thanks Jen!
Sorry but I'm pretty sure the poo pile is puking the Roy, too much green beer? I'm ashamed to say I had to google Roy G Biv but when I did I was relieved I got PBR immediately o,0
to Rachel CrazyMum - not sure if I should say Thanks or not! Face hurts from laughing so hard at the Sketch on youtube! And then the next half hour watching a whole bunch more of them - never saw this show before. Happy St. Pat's, all!
In some ways, I hate this day for I am naturally red-headed, green-eyed, fair-skinned, covered with freckles and have not an ounce of Irish blood in me. (I'm actually Norwegian, Polish, and one-quarter American Indian. Make of that what you will.) I try to play it fair, though do you know how hard it is to find items of apparel that DON'T say "I'm Irish" somewhere?
I was once publicly scolded on this day for wearing shamrock earrings and, I guess, looking too Irish. I'm not sure what I could have done.
The ironic thing is, I have a friend in Dublin, and she assures me "ah, sure, you'll be grand."
Bahahaha@sharyn :D. No amount of alcohal could explain those cakes O_o
Okay, I was tilting my head when I got to the part that said, "head tilt..."
I guess that lemon creature wanted to be a leprechaun for the day. Oh my nothing brings me joy like seeing a rainbow shooting out of a dog turd. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
So glad I'm not the only one seeing nipples on the 4th one. O.O
So is that last one from a Unicorndog? We all know that Unicorns poop rainbows, right?
My St. Paddy's day will be spent taking care of the 4th day post-op chipmunk girl. In fact, maybe green beer would make things a little easier...for me! Hey, enough green beer and I will happily cheer them on when she and her sister fight! Okay, maybe that isn't such a great idea.
@Sharyn ~ Another song to add to my repertoire :-)
Having worked in a bar for years that had PBR can specials for $1 I totally understood PBR making sense once the party's gone too long. That stuff only tastes good once you're too drunk to notice that it doesn't. But I couldn't figure out what that had to do with the cake. After finally giving up I read the line under the picture and then the light bulb went off.
As for cake #4, I couldn't figure out what ice cream cones with cherries and some odd blue line on them had to do with being Irish until I read the comments. Now all I can see are bloody penis with ill fitting condoms on them which I also can't figure out has to do with being Irish. Maybe Trish knows. Thanks for that visual Fluffy Cow.
@ just me: You're welcome! I must have watched it over a dozen times, and it still makes me howl. I think it's the look of blank incomprehension on the interviewer's face as she tries to decipher his speech that gets me. I know that expression all too well; I remember trying to talk to my future FIL and BIL and struggling badly. I think that my look was not just of incomprehension, but also a touch of panic. Fortunately, we've now been married for 13 years, and I can understand them fine. As a point of interest, my husband understood all of this clip with absolutely no problems at all!
I'm waiting for the Pulaski Day cakes...
I'm green and not from envy!!
The dog turd is pooping a rainbow through its Kidney stones!!!! It's a DOUBLE MIRACLE!
Nipple Cones! Those were my favorite as a child! Especially the ones with the blue underwire. Mmmmmm mmm.
I just loved that I actually did ::head tilt:: before I even read ::head tilt::
Look, it's Sponge Bob Hexagon Head!
I "got" PBR. However, being a freelance writer, I know tons of other freelance writers. Some of them cover "Professional Bull Riding" and that is PBR, so that's the first thing I thought.
Egads! That first CrapcakeCharacter (a form of CCC) looks like it may have ingested some seriously toxic ingredients. Maybe the ingredients were outdated. Look at the uneven pupils, the flushed cheeks...the mouth that looks like an allergic reaction to cheap lipstick...Oh, no...I just remembered: Soylent Green is people!!!!
=^@.@^=
We all must be suffering from impure thoughts today, because all I could think when I saw the Pot d Gold (look closely) was a large pile of teeny yellow decapitated (deboobicated?) boobiches.
"The dog turd is pooping a rainbow," might be one of the most beautifully eloquent things I've ever read on this website!
Happy St. Patrick's Day! I have managed to avoid the green everything by hiding in my apartment lol. Of course listening to drunken neighbors is enough for me. After seeing these I think I may just call it a night lol.
I just loved that I actually did ::head tilt:: before I even read ::head tilt::
I managed to keep it together...until I read "The dog turd is pooping a rainbow!" that cracked me up!
Maybe the first one is supposed to be a "Simpsons"-esque leprechaun? Or an Irish lemon? No, I know what it is. It's.....Jakovasaur!! NOOOOO!!!!
Great post, Jen! I was snorting through my laughter at this one. :-)
glad to see I am not the only one to see boob-creamcones on #4. I always don't expect to laugh my head off when I read these pages, and it is probably more effective if I don't have expectations, but I always end up with at least a good genuine LOL at some point.
Joe mama, do you mean the light bulb went ON? Or does "getting it" turn the light bulb off in your case? I guess when you gave up the light turned off.......
Jodee ROFL Unicorndogs!
I'm a little confused by #4. What does Trish have to do with it? All I see is a cookie that says Irish. Please explain. :) Love the site by the way.