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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Mar142014

Off-Putting

Wait, it's Procrastination Week already? Oh. Well, sorry I didn't tell you guys about it 'til now but I was, uh... really busy.

[innocent whistling]

 

So, anyway, I've been meaning to show you guys a post I've been working on, and now seems the best time to do it! Here goes...

 

Father's Day is this week, so it's time to show Dad how you really feel!

"THIS IS A STICK-UP."
("stick up" Heh. Aheh. Heh.)

 

[This is when I had to go organize my Pinterest boards for a few... weeks.]

 

Oh! And you know who else likes bunnies? Moms.

Also moths.

 

[This is when I tried to learn German. Then I gave that up and watched makeup tutorials on Youtube all night, which is why I forgot about this post for a few more months.]

 

How about this summer heat wave, huh?

Even the frosted flowers are dying!

 

[I think I slept a lot here.]

 

Who else is feeling thankful for turkeys?!

 

[This reminded me of a funny cat video, but by the time I found it it was Spring.]

 

Hey, have you guys heard this awesome new album??

The 90s are gonna be Mariah's decade, I'm telling you!

 

Thanks to Kadie W., Robin G., KarateLady, Mary M., & Danielle G., who are no doubt just as impressed as I am that an album cover from 1994 is STILL being used on generic Christmas cakes.

Now go forth and procrastinate, people!

*****

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Reader Comments (44)

Was going to haiku
but started to clean my ears
and decorate cakes. . . .

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I'm waiting until next week to procrastinate. Right now, I'm stuck on this megasudoku puzzle. I'll write a song as soon as I figure out if that's a 9 or a G.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I think Brenna P. just wasn't as clear with her baker as she should have been. Couples who are expecting the stork may think that it's common knowledge that people use cakes to announce the gender of their babies. However, those who aren't wrapped up in pregnancy or Cake Wrecks may not be aware of this practice. The baker really did follow her directions, although the cake was still pretty wrecky.
Now for that King Cake...

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Actually I was born on procrastination day (sept. 5th) and I was late. supposed to show up on the 3rd!

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJamie Jo

Is it sad that I looked up Father's Day thinking it was this week after reading the beginning of today's post? It's seriously been that kind of winter (and year).

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

Q. Why would you use black olives to decorate a cake?

A. Because you keep putting off buying black food color. (Which doesn't answer the question about why you were making the flowers blavlk to begin with.)

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I am supposed to be working on a legal pleading suing the EPA. I'm procrastinating by reading Cakewrecks.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Ahh.,, There's that festive guy, Mr. Poo Wang Turdkey.

@Haiku Joy ~ Umm... eeeeeewwwwwww!!!!!

@Sharyn ~ Go with 7! According to my brother, the answer is always 7!

My chipmunk girl is home resting. Now comes the hard part.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

It says "traditional icing." Isn't Mariah part of YOUR Christmas tradition? I mean, you hear her in every shopping center and grocery store.

This post reminded me that I need to go address the rest of the Christmas letter/Baby announcements; now that baby is 3months old. So, thanks for that.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKim L.

The idea of watching 42 episodes of My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic back to back is both marvelous and terrifying at the same time.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDotti

Bwahahaha :D

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I just had a panic moment, thinking this Sunday was Father's Day. I wised up before I got to the Mother's Day cake.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Turkey poo boobs?
Poo turkey boobs?
Poo boobs on a turkey??

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterErica

I was going to remind you to announce Procrastination Day earlier but I got distracted. "Squirrel!"

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Jodee, am glad your daughter is doing well. I honestly was going to write yesterday to enquire about her but, yep, procrastination struck again.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Netflix, what you don't know is that there is a tween girl who passionately LOVES Rainbow Dash in the house. And is 20% cooler for it.

Happy Pi Day, everyone!

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Your wrecky cakes here
Your wrecky cakes here, ah-ah-ah-ah
Your wrecky cakes here
I used to wonder what a wreck would be
Until you shared some cake pics with me
Stick fathers
Mothday Day
The dead flower part
Ballsy turk-ey
A Mariah Christmas
With a '90s beat
And comments make it all complete
Ya have your wrecky cakes here
Didja know they're all attempted to vend?

Well, that's all I got.

On a related note... forty-two?!? Lessee, that would be a little over season and a half, or a little over two if one of them is 3...

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

Oh, what I was going to post earlier, but procrastinated (Sounds like a defective Dalek, doesn't it? "Procrastinate! Procrastinate!") is that our local S@*^way is selling pies for $3.14 each. How geeky is THAT? I think I know where we're getting our π this year.

#GeeksAreTakingOverTheWorld...Subtly

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@millbrit

Same here. My Mom told me that Dad was in an unusually grumpy mood today when I was talking to her this morning. When I read this I panicked thinking she was hinting at something and I missed it! Nope. Just Dad being Dad. :-)

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBella

I looked up Father's Day.. was about to panic.. but.. it's Jun 15..?

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVesi

I'm...

It's ...

Wow.

Flummoxed, here.

I got married on September 5, and yes... The groom was late. I should have foreseen the rest of our married life. Which continues... Haven't been on time for much of anything since.

This post seems to follow how quickly my photos get organized, scrapped and posted.

Thanks for the laughs! (And the pain. Always to the pain)

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDi F

I was going to comment first today, but… well…

I love that the Turkey PooWang cake has anatomically correct testicles. Nice touch.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

Thanks @Jodi, she's in a lot of pain and doesn't feel good and is grumpy.

My youngest has already requested to go to the mall tomorrow just to get out of the house! Right now we're in the "I'm really hungry so I decided to make myself a scrambled egg burrito and threw up because it hurt so bad (DUH!) but now I'm hungry and I hurt and I threw up my pain pill so can I have another, but I need something to eat with it, but I don't want to eat because it hurts, but..." stage. I have a feeling it's going to be a really looooooong weekend! Maybe I'll go to the mall with the 14 year old?

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Procrastination Week? (Or as I call it, Condiment Week -- time to ketchup....) Somewhere around here I have a membership application for the Procrastinator's Club...that is, if it made the move with me from NJ...14 years ago. Well, anyway, I'll probably celebrate it next week....maybe.... But now I just want to wish all my fellow wreckies the joy of the holiday season, and may 2004 be the best year ever!

And, fittingly enough: @SuBee: loved your song yesterday!
@Karate Lady: where are you? I hope you're well!
@Jodee: Glad your chipmunk girl is resting...and as for the hard part, well, you can always come here for a hug, a laugh, good thoughts and wishes, and all other kinds of support from your virtual family.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

I actually procrastinated finishing reading the post to find out whether Netflix has that many episodes of MLP: FIM to stream. I asked my son. He, and the whole family, are Bronies. Now I want to watch that many episodes back-to-back so I can see if those messages are real. I can put off cleaning the bathroom to do it. Sounds reasonable.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

See, I was watching "The Mothman Prophecies," so I knew you were going to have the Happy Mothday Day cake today.

However, these prophecies preclude disasters. Does being in Google HELL again count?

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Well, that explains my urge to do little else except binge on Farscape this week... :P

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

@SuBee......the best post.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

@Di F: I have the same problem. Before I met my beloved, I was the person who was always 15 minutes early. Now we're always late. Sigh. On our wedding day, which I planned, I told my groom it was an hour earlier than it was just so he'd be there on time. No joke. Now I, the keeper of the family calendar, tell him that all appointments and such are 15 minutes earlier than they are. Since I started doing this, about 4 or 5 years ago, we haven't been late. I am honestly surprised that he hasn't caught on yet, but partly he wants to believe that he is doing better through his own efforts. Somedays I want to tell him SO BADLY, but that would ruin it and probably really hurt him.

Personal to @mel: I don't know if you recall, but there was a post a while back regarding overlarge wedding cakes and what they might be compensating for (wink, wink). It was all very sly and never actually mentioned the word "sex" or talked about penis size, but everyone knew that was what was being implied. Most of the ladies responded by saying that size didn't matter, but "how sweet it tasted". I referred to my own spouse as an "average slice with just the right amount of frosting". You told me something that really resonated with me--you said, "Savor every moment with your average slice. What I'd give for just one more day..."

I really felt the emotion in that, and we've been doing a lot more baking. Life together is good. I thank you for that, sir.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Okay, what are those extra squiggly things on the unhappy stick father and kid?

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

condiment: relish, horseradish, mustard, mayo, pickle
condom-it: (?) Hmmm.... Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers...or was it peckled pickers?...no, wait--peppered perkles...pickered peckles....hang on; it'll come to me..
~~He asked had she a condiment, to put upon a dog...She said "Why yes-I have a few; what size you want, you hog?" =^-.~^=

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@SaraCVT: Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I remember the post well. And, yes, it was filled with emotion -- the reference to "one more day" was to my late wife, who lost her battle with cancer about five years ago. I'm glad you're doing more baking and that life is good. May you always continue to savor every moment with your average slice, and may life always continue to be good.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

My daughter introduced her boyfriend to My Little Pony on Netflix (they are both adults) and he loved it so, he watched them all. His mother was ready to contact Netflix about someone hacking their account, so he had to come clean and admit to watching the show!

March 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Oh man lol. Wonders which stick figure is the sad one the dad or the son? Lol. I now wonder if Netflix cares if we overdose on episodes of any show. Will have to go find out.. when I am not too lazy to bother hehe.

March 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I meant to comment on this yesterday.....

March 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Thanks for the panic attack about fathers day...

March 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjess

Mel, I, too, remember your comment, and we have also been doing more baking, which isn't always easy when you have four cupcakes who keep trying to open the oven door when we are in the middle of baking. Blessings to you and your late wife.

March 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

Isn't 42 the answer to life, the universe and everything? I will look it up--tomorrow or next week or maybe next month.

March 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentercatspaw66

It's all fun and games until someone makes me cry. @mel and@SaraCVT, hugs all around!

March 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

@Vesi

Most countries (including mine) celebrate Father's Day on March, 19

March 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenter888mph

The stick figures on the fathers day cake were actually smiling when they were drawn, but then they looked down & saw their tiny deformed legs & giant wangs.
Seriously, how do you mess up stick figures?

#4 I've heard of genetically modified turkeys that produce more breast meat, but this is just going to far.....especially on a tom!

March 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

@Rachel CrazyMum: I'm glad that you've been doing more baking, too. It is ironic that both you and SaraCVT posted today, since the theme is procrastination...and life is far, far too short to procrastinate when it comes to expressing our love toward our loved ones. Thank you for your blessings. And, keep baking!
@Jodee: isn't this a strange place -- we laugh, snort coffee through our noses, roll our eyes, share our lives, laugh some more, cry, hug, and laugh some more...just like the real people we all are....Jen and john(thoJ) have provided a unique playground for us, and I appreciate that..... And thanks for the hugs....

March 16, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Gloria, those stick figures were all geared up for the 42-episode marathon. See? They're still wearing their brony tails. Maybe not enjoying their equine experience as much as expected, poor fellas.
From their expressions it seems they asked for nice, big tails. Maybe they should have their next brony tail fitting done by a straight guy (and one who isn't a sadist.) (I have seen stranger things.)

March 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMarkM

YES the truth

March 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

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