Move Over, Mensa
February 24, 2014 I was taking a Mensa test the other day (what), and it suddenly occurred to me,
"This is nothing compared to puzzling out a good cake wreck."
So I'm starting Wrecksa, for those of us who see beyond the frosting fails to the true meanings within.
Are you smart enough to be a Wrecksa member?
LET'S FIND OUT:
Question 1:
;)
A is to B as sonnet is to __________.
a) asphalt
b) Viagra
c) hairball
d) antidisestablishmentarianism
Question 2:
;)
Simplify
Question 3:
What is the proper response to the following:
;)
a) Klaatu barada nikto.
b) Do you see what I'm saying?
c) You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
d) No hablo Wreckspañol.
Question 4:
;)
Write a haiku that captures the emotion expressed in this cake.
Question 5:
;)
This is an example of:
a) binary
b) trinary
c) whynary
d) urinary
Express in base 10.
Question 6:
;)
Which literary genre is represented here?
a) comedy
b) tragedy
c) satire
d) horror
Bonus question: Are those breasts or knees, and which would you find more disturbing? Defend your answer.
Question 7:
;)
List, in chronological order, the 5 steps necessary to become profigent in accouting.
Question 8: Which is the most commonly wrecked contraction?
a) "You are"
or
b)
;)
(Welcome to my world.)
******
Answer Key: If you tried to answer any of these, you're one of us.
Congratulons! Congraduations! Congrattuvations!
Well done!
Feel free to share your answers in the comments, so we can appreciate your genius.
Thanks to Marie P., Sarah L., Cheri R., Jessica W., Kristin M., Holly H., Matt L., and Coco for having the genius to wreckognize these wrecks.
*****
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
Reader Comments (98)
1) b
2) 7.2
3) c
4) Don Wells is not well
Neither is my fluffy dog
Can he tuna fish?
5) c (4.3034336660062)
6) d- neither, they are locks of "hair" as evidenced by the circular pattern.
7) 1- holding up your dominant hand 2- spreading your fingers 3- folding down your thumb, ring finger and pinkie 4- turning your hand to the wreckerator's face 5- thrusting your hand
8) b
#6 is CLEARLY knees.
Okay, first time CW has given me homework...I LOVE it...okay, let's see...erm...well...this may take longer than I initially thought, I shall get back to you all...
No genius, I...
1. C
2. 42
3. C
4. Don Wells is super-
specialized. His work is art.
Beware, critter friends.
5. B (2?)
6. C
6 Bonus - Knees. Without a torso, there is no place to keep the boobies. Although, that would be more disturbing.
7. Step one - earn a degree in accounting. Step two - use all of your new found skills to count figs and Fig Newtons instead (or subtract the Fig Newtons, if you find them delicious) Step three - profit!
8. Yes
Q. 1 – C. Hairball
Q. 2 – to simplify I rely on the wisdom of Homer (Simpson of course, not that other guy, geez) D’oh
Q. 3 – C because a Princess Bride reference is ALWAYS correct in any uncomfortable situation
Q. 4 ;
make a pet in to
the other world go you must
drop a piano
Q. 5 – C, whynary expressed in base ten ; ∞∑√◊ that’s all I got, did I get it???
Q. 6 – D. Horror, definitely horror
Q. 7 – This is an experiential posing, without the experience one cannot achieve the stated knowledge, in other words...I got nothing
Q. 8 – aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, eye bleach, EYE BLEACH STAT!!!!
(((Fluffy Cow)))
I so very much want to know the story behind Don Wells, Piano Tuner, Pet Assassin.
The post made me giggle, but Fluffy Cow's answers made me guffaw. Thanks!
1) C
2) i
3) D (also I think you meant necktie in A)
4) Don Wells potato
Albuquerque feelings and
where am I anyway
5) 30
6) D
6 bonus) Knees. Sadly this child of indeterminate gender was born with a rare condition that uses all the bones and bodily tissues needed for the torso and arms and uses them to make oversized knees instead.
7) Step one, google accouting. Step two, ???. Step three, ???. Step four, ???. Step five, profit!
8) "You are". This is a recent change, however, due to the internet and texting. In previous centuries, the second answer would have been the correct one.
Why did I read post #7 as G(implied O) F-You??? That didn't sound very nice when my mind was reading it.
~sharpening my number 2 mouse~
1. d (because when antidisestablishmentarianism is a choice, it is always the correct choice, unless there is chocolate)
2. piping skills + logic < 0
3. d (insert picture of a Mexican spaniel named Rex here)
4. Alas! My poor pet
Dust Bunny riven in two
When Don plucked G string
(ha! bonus points?)
5. ∏
6. d.
Bonus: Neither. They are in fact King Henry brocade pants. See Shakespearean wardrobes.
7. 1- Buy a plot of land.
2-Secede from whatever country the land is in.
3-Declare that the name of your new country is Accounting.
4-Declare yourself king/queen/despot/grand high poobah
5-Use your absolute power to declare yourself Profigent.
8. GAAAAAAH!!!!
4). Don moved piano
while attempting to tune
squished my hamster.
My boobs on my neck.
My chin adjoined to pelvis.
My cellophane tie.
You see, that's the problem with these high stakes, multiple-choice tests! They just look for the ONE right answer, but we all know that the answers to these conundrums are more nuanced than that.
1. e, clearly this is physical poetry
2. Navier–Stokes existence and smoothness
3. Correct response to "audios" is "can you hear me now?" (picture is clearly a microphone)
4. Don Wells is dextrous.
Pets hide when he comes with his
tuning fork of death.
5. e, 10^0
6. e, alliterative disgraphia
Bonus: eyeballs, falling from sockets in disbelief
7. One shows profigincy in accounting by using a calcator good.
8. AAAIIiiiiiiEEEEEEEEEeeeeee!!
1) e. Corpse Flower(Amorphophallus titanum), because it smells as bad as those cupcakes look, flower once every 10 years.
Flower time laps growth Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4-Z4ErGVqU&list=PLvWBwnTMa0IXe6xyF10c36kG2ftkOOV4q&feature=c4-overview-vl
2) #1-7 list in condesending order, as well as inclusion of the =,+, SQRT and division symbols. The a is there because... why not?
3) XXIII,
4) e. I do not know that Lexuscon
5)
Bones of white
A key in darkest black
Decrescendo
6) Swollen lymph nodes.
7) See answer 2, cross refence answer 3, solve for a, convert to kelvins, fly to Denver and bake.
8) a.Your're your own worest enemy.
Didn't Don Wells play MaryAnn in "Gilligan's Island"? This cake clearly pays homage to her acting abilities.
Did the giant arum cupcakes stink of rotting flesh like the real flower??
I'm sorry, but a dog ate my homework.
The correct answer to every question (in life, as well as this test) is Klaatu barada nikto>
I propose these questions to be adopted by Mensa - should weed out the applicants without imagination! Well, well done, Sharyn!!
You do not need to be a genius to realize the answers are as funny as the cakes :D
#4:
I enter with my
tuning fork. I leave behind
a carcass and tears.
The rest of the answers are q) All of the above. Except for that one.
although I am not a member of Mensa, I have used the Mensa Room on occasion....
And...great job, Sharyn! Funny post, funny comments...well done, all!
I'm currently the only one in the office. Everyone else is snowed in. I'll get back to you with my answers. @Sharyn reminded me of something very important I need to do at the photocopier. ;-)
1. B
2. 17.5 1/4
3. C
4. No match for HaikuJoy
Cannot comprehend Don Wells
Why hurt animals?
5. C
6. B Knees. Because anything else is just too icky
7. Be good in math. Get accounting degree in college. Leave on 2-year Peace Corps stint. Return and live on a commune for 3 years. Get a job as a web designer
8. B
I refuse to answer, on the grounds that you really DON'T want to know what my answers would have been, as clearly none of these were the true ones...
Always think outside of the box. Even when it's a Happy Meal (those things are way too smiley--they're up to something, I tell you!)
One of us, one of us, one of us.
I think my IQ was higher before I looked at these Wrecks.
1) c. hairball. As a hairball (or more accurately, the hacking up of one) makes a sound that would never be mistaken for a sonnet, so is the sad attempt to represent that flower.
2) That is not a book. It is a cake. If they're trying to make it look like the book, well, that's a job for a more skilled cake artist.
3) e. *carapalma*
4) Piano makes noise?
Or is it the neighbor's pet?
Don Wells is your man.
5) Well, if it is trinary, then the correct answer is 2*81+9+3+1, or 175. If it is urinary, then the correct answer is, of course, number 1.
6) d. The "graduits" are clearly going to be used to conduct electricity.
Bonus: ...leg braces, maybe...? But having breasts on the legs and no torso would be rather disturbing.
7) Begome good at mah. Learn to enjoy galgulaing. Begome ineresed in money. Take a glass. Get gerified!
8) I want the answer to be "a" SO BADLY. Mainly because it's used in so many situations. The other one has only one situation, and I can't imagine it being requested that often.
However, I would guess that while "you are" is contracted properly sometimes on cakes, I would consider any attempt to show the other kind of contraction on a cake to be a wreck.
Every time I reference "Ponderous" people think I'm making it up. I'm so glad to see someone else remembers that song.
1. Um, Viagra? (see #8)
2. (Throwing out all the junk I don't need and will never use again; be back soon)
3. C--inconceivable!
4. I don't do haikus
Never good at poetry
Wish I could be Joy
5. Third base
6. C--Oh the horror, right on the internet, a picture of my...wait, now that I get a good look, I think those are hands placed on knees.
7. 1. Become a pro--golf or hockey, your choice; 2. Make sure you are a gent (this may be harder for 50% of the population); 3. Lather; 4. Rinse; 5. Repeat
8. WHO ARE THESE WOMEN WITH HOO-HAs BIG ENOUGH FOR BABIES TO FALL OUT? Why aren't they getting help instead of having cakes made to celebrate?
6) is clearly fists. Kept on knees. Don't be fooled by that smile.
OMG, @Angela, I was just getting ready to post my answer when I saw no. 8. Now I'm laughing so hard I am snorking and can hardly see.
Here are my responses:
Question 1: b) Viagra. Because you’d need something to hold you up to withstand the shock of this mess..
Question 2: Orange frosting + scattered words + too much crap = BIG MESS.
Question 3: Ich spreche keines Wreckspanol. But it’s a really cute cake!
Question 4: (with apologies to Haiku Joy)
Piano tuner
and pet assassin Wells
makes my heart unwell.
Question 5: Whynary. And why you have nary an answer in base 10. Not going there, not even for Cake Wrecks.
Question 6: d) horror, indeed. Because those look like handcuffs drooping from that creature’s neck/chin. Very kinky indeed, but especially so for Kiddies.
Question 7: 1) Be able to add. 2) Be able to subtract. 3) Understand debits and credits. 4) Learn how to balance your checkbook. 5) Learn how to freakin' SPELL.
Question 8: Um, b. Because now I was going to eat lunch but don’t know if I can.
Haiku Angela,
come teach my classes today.
No, I mean really.
Wait....
Pet assassin??!
6: Im not a doctor. But im pretty sure those are testicles... And he should probably get them looked at.
I think that #6 is actually hands - it looks like there are arms attached to them and the hands are resting where knees *should* be.
Does anyone else feel extreme sadness that the handwriting on #6 is amazing!?! So sad that talent is so regularly wasted!!
Despite the disturbing baby cake I'm not going to let that stop me from enjoying baked goods.
1) D antidisestablishmentarianism - Because it's as obnoxious as having a corpse flower for a decoration on a cupcake.
2) Barbie Says "Math is hard!"
3) Trick Question! The answer is C and D
4) Don Wells killed my cat
He will tune your piano
This cake is poisoned
5) 100
6) D and Bonus answer. When in doubt go with porn. So Boobs is the correct answer.
7) 1 - Learn to count, 2-Take an accounting class 3- Graduate class 4- Audit class 5-Shorten list to achieve proficiency in accounting to 3 steps.
8) A and then B and then Puke.
The answer to "Can you see what I'm saying?" Is, "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
Lol
1. D, of course
2. pi r squared (sorry don't know the shortcuts to make those symbols and don't care to look)
3. A. If you answered D you obviously don't belong on this site.
4. Dawn's younger brother
Tunes pianos and kills pets
New Renaissance Man
5. E. Scatological because its definitely a piece of s@#t
6. Trick question. It is obviously tragi-comedy mixed with a side of horror. The mutilation that resulted in the breasts being turned into that person's knees and the rest of the body being obliterated is the most disturbing aspect. That's my defense and I'm sticking to it.
7. 1. Get money
2. Buy copious amounts of alcohol
3. Drink said alcohol
4. Take final exam
5. Profit!
8. I very loudly gasped when I rolled down to that picture causing everyone in my office to turn and ask me if I was alright. I don't think I'll ever be alright again after seeing that. No amount of eye bleach or therapy can erase the horror. Oh the horror.
Thanks Sharyn for another enjoyable lunch. And I thought you song parodies were brilliant. This is beyond brilliance. You are obviously omniscient.
Never tried a haiku (sp?) - Here goes! LOL!
Piano tuner
is not safe with pets
Wreck-er-ator says
1 C (see Nyperold's explanation)- a melodious sonnet vs ''aaarrrccchhkkkhhh''
2 refrost it plain (many have been fooled into thinking this was a math question)
3 D
4 wire in Don's pocket - tighten on instrument neck- flowers for the damned
5 D- 750mls is bladder of adult, so roughly 30 x750 = 2011- and 0.3 is half a log, so 1.5 base 10
6 D since that is clearly neither knees nor boobs but a smiling head impaled on 2 old fashioned hand mixers…. likely the hand mixers of the pastry chef…. DON'T EAT it …. It's PEOPLE….. PEOPLE…..
7 Step 1, strike head with hammer, Step 2 repeat, Step 3, repeats, Step 4, prepet, Step 5 reheat….. dun
8 All I can say is Brazilian contractions cost less to frost
1. A:asphalt
2. The answer is simple. 42
3. You used the wrong color font for e, which explains why no one but me saw it. E: “Hab SoSli’ Quch!” (As anyone knows is a great Klingon insult, “Your mother has a smooth forehead!”
4. Don loves flowers; He fixes pianos fast; Keep your pets locked up.
5. C:Whynary “A perfect example of whynary of the store’s wreckerators ever quit to work somewhere else.”
6. C:Artificial Buttcheeks. It’s just gotta be that. The poor person needs some way to sit comfortably.
7. DB stole my answer.
8. I… I… I… ¡ay caramba!
i've been a lurking and a laughing at cake wrecks, but this one is the funniest, cleverest, ever (in my opinion of course)
Don Well's work varies:
makes my music beautiful
finishes my pet.
fun brain work-out! Thanks!
Please tell me they misspelled the first name and this was for Dawn Wells, Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island! I can totally see her as an assassin, but I'm surprised about the pet part.
1) e - Priapism
2) 42
3) c
4) Other pets: BEWARE!
Don Wells comes under pretense
To tune pia
5) d - infection +/- severe dehydration
6) b. According to my third cupcake at the age of two - they're belly buttons, one for each leg. Duh.
7) L love Fluffy Cow ^_^
8) b