Cake Wrecks' Top 12 Unintentionally Erotic Cakes
December 17, 2014 Welcome, my fellow gutter-minded malcontents! Prepare to get your juvenile giggles on, because today, we are all 12-year-old boys.
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Oh, the irony.
[insert Peter Pan joke here]
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"AARG! HULK TENSE! HULK... TRY RELIEVE TENSION."
I bet this is the last time BJ's Wholesale Club abbreviates its name:
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Anyone else getting kind of a dirty vibe off this butterfly?
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(No seriously, why is the end dirty??)
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK:
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Unless you think that's supposed to be a bronze pear statue. Which it is. Allegedly.
Baby, You're A Firework!
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...in need of medical attention.
The Girls' Night Out:
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No, I mean literal girls. They're babies. In bed. With unusually pert pacifiers.
This was supposed to say, "Germany, here we come!"
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Looks like "Germany" will be smacking the ceiling with a broom tonight.
A Very Happy Butterfly:
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And an even happier frog:
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THAT IS SO NOT RIGHT.
A Cake Wrecks classic, and one of my earliest posts:
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I love that someone - either the customer or the decorator - felt that "sexual harassment" needed to be illustrated. And I realize the decorator can't be expected to be Picasso or anything, but check out how far the girl's feet are off the ground. Either that was the Spank Heard 'Round the World, or she's on an invisible step while Chuckles there digs for gold.
And finally, one older still:
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GOOD LUCK IN CHINA!
If you haven't read the full back story by Scott of Basic Instructions - who has since become both a dear friend and an excellent author, btw - grab a tissue for the tears of laughter, and go check it out.
Good stuff.
Thanks to Melissa M., Mark F., Steve S., Lesley W., Diana M., Elisabeth M., Gina C., Sarah R., Bijan P., & Melanie D. for making so many people giggle-snort as quietly as possible while at work. (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.)
*****
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Reader Comments (26)
It's sad when, even when it's spelled out, it takes me a full minute to spot the faces on those "babies".
I find myself suddenly jealous of the person who felt the need to send Germany a cake....
Classics, all of them, but I must admit the very happy butterfly is possibly the best CCC I've ever seen.
That pear cake is going to get a pretty rude surprise when that firework goes off!
Thanks for the top ten lists. I am wiping my eyes as I write this; that last fireman post was a hoot! And I must be sharing the same gutter as the rest of you people, because I didn't have any trouble seeing erotic items, but I didn't see the baby faces on the first go-round either.
Since that first cake is ostensibly for a one-year-old, I'd give anything to know just what the shape in the middle was meant to represent. A rattle, maybe? [confused]
I think the lavender butterfly has gold paint on the end. No, I don't know why, either. It would be cuter and less terrifying at, say, fridge magnet size.
I think that we should absolve the pear in the name of Georgia O'Keefe. Nice design. Not brilliant, but nice. If only they'd gone with a color for the fondant that didn't suggest lightly-tanned Caucasian skin. [sigh]
Nope, I didn't see the baby faces either, and was wondering why pacifiers were substituted for nipples in that bachelor party cake.
That frog cake made my day!!!
Of all the ways they could have chosen to illustrate 'the unveiling of the pear tree'... Oh God. Now that phrase is stuck in my head. And not in a good way.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :D
**raising hand** Yep, I'm guilty of the attempted quiet giggle-snort at work! It almost never works! At least my boss is totally cool with it!
I still don't believe that is really a pear. I know it's representing bronze pear but bronze and flesh color are not one and the same. Or Jen and john (thoJ) have just corrupted all of us and we're all sick and twisted individuals.
I'm actually pretty proud of myself that it took me a few seconds to figure out why many of these were dirty. Then there were some of the others...
The sexual harassment cake is my all time favourite.
And I think the blue thing behind the frog was just as happy as the frog but not anymore, if you get my drift.
Thanks for these top ten! Everyone appreciates the classics. I also have a new appreciation for the Twelve Days of a Christmas. A partridge in a "pear tree" indeed!
LuLu, seems appropriate, Christmas having come from a pagan fertility festival and all.
And the cake baker is "mooning" Germany as well . . . .
The fireman cake is one of my top 10 all time favorite things that exist on the web.
True story: my aunt used to have a ceramic frog figure which was similar to that "happy" frog cake, except that it had a real penis instead of an accidental one. I wanted to inherit it, but another cousin got it first!
The sadder thing about the Waterloo cake is that I've seen that statue, it is an actual tree, done in a whimsical style with pears hanging off of it. It is lovely, and that cake is what represents it, is beyond sad.
Wow. Okay, so the logo was right there, so I HAD to google the pear tree:
http://www.regionofwaterloo.ca/en/discoveringTheRegion/resources/PUBLIC_ART--WHERE_IN_THE_REGION.pdf
Not sure how I feel about that, honestly.
Actually, the pear tree cake reminds me of an unfortunate water tower in Gaffney, SC. When it was first built, it was meant to be a peach... and, though the shape was right, it was painted a light pinky/beige primer for years! It looked like a big, ole derriere right there on the highway, and was a yearly milestone driving to and from Grandma's house! Eventually, it was painted like a peach, with a leaf and stem added... but it still looks like a dirty, sunburned derriere, to me, quite frankly.
http://static.panoramio.com/photos/large/69101349.jpg
As for that frog? He has a fly on his... oh, never mind.
The problem with the third one is obvious: they forgot to dot the "i" in "bitter." So bitter. So filled with shame and regret.
Oh Jen, the Chuckles and gold comment made me choke! THAT is something I cannot un-see now!
Thanks...I think.
Oh man cannot stop laughing. Especially when my hubby looked over and saw cake number one.. oh man lmao. I am sure the laughing was heard by our lovely neighbors. Hehe.
How did China turn out for that guy, anyway?
I've been to this page a few times. It's always good for an afternoon chuckle. Germany pounding the ceiling.. ha..
I was having a very low day until I stumbled back into Cake Wrecks world. Now I've had at least four belly laughs and am actually feeling better! This post was so freaking hilarious ... xo
Oh baby.