Truth In Advertising
August 28, 2013 Bakers, in today's lagging economy the race to earn customers' hard-earned dollars is on. So how can you stay ahead of your competition? With tasteful, quality display-cakes, that's how.
;)
Yep, you want displays that draw people in. Displays that show off your skills. Displays that say, "Hey, we're a modern, 'with-it' bakery that knows just how to relate to today's generation."
;)
"You see, kids, there once was a time when phones had cords on them."
You also want cakes that show you take your job seriously:
;)
And that your figure modeling is second-to-none:
;)
"GREETINGS, HUMANS. WE ARE TWO UNIQUE FEMALES WHO ENJOY SITTING IN CASUAL MANNERS. TAKE US HOME OR WE WILL STUN YOU WITH OUR LASER EYES. JUST KIDDING.
HA. HA. HA."
But also some that show you aren't lacking in the crazy department:
;)
"Proud to be the only bakery that offers large chocolate grenades in our 'Peeps VS Bobble-Heads Soccer Match in the Desert of Doom' design - now with random Rugrats!"
Jasmine D., Erin F., Lisa M., Sarah N., & Maren J., can you spot the grenade?
Reader Comments (65)
1) wow. that's some Princess cake! (NOT) - aside from the "princess" falling out of the cake and the "skirt" not being all that attractive, the bottom layer seems to belong to a different cake maybe?
2) um, i wouldn't be caught dead with a corded phone, and i'm no teenager...
3) the eyes! the eyes! help me! help me!
4) why are there little chickens all around the soccer field? i need to know
Since that last cake has some random Pokemon flotsam it makes me think of a wreckorator theme song:
"I want to be the very worst...
Pick a cake
Gotta' wreck em' all..."
Sung to "Part of Your World"
Look at this cake? Isn't is neat.
Don't even care that her skirt's not complete.
I really think she's the girl
With phone cords and everything.
Looking around
Stories unfold
Writing on cakes is a BIG WHOOP I'm told
Casual girls never blink
So
They'll stun everything
They used tall plastic flotsam aplenty
They used bobble head figures galore
You want small yellow chicks -- less than 20
But who cares? No big deal. Let's add more...
Oh, hey, Happy Birthday, Craig! Theardare has something for you in the bunker. :)
And three random Pokemon characters on that last cake too!
I always wanted a cake with Misty from Pokemon on it...just not a soccer-chicken-Pokemon-Rugrats cake...
And also Misty from Pokemon? What IS up with that last cake eggsactly? *eyebrow waggle*
Isn't it illegal to play with more than one ball on the field? Or is this some sort of Calvinball rule? I think it must be Calvinball. Hence the grenade. I got nuthin' for the chickens, tho. *shakes head*
Don't forget they now have those 'retro' handsets that you can plug into your cell phone. D; So you can have the big clunky piece AND the cord, mn_me.
Misty and Brock appear to be watching, too. Are peeps a type of Pokemon now?
What are these bakers on and how do I get some???
I see that Brock, Misty, and Prof. Oak are also attending the Soccer Match of Doom. With the way Oak is standing on the sidelines, I wonder if perhaps he even arranged this whole nightmare. Is forcing animals into gladiatorial combat not enough entertainment for you?!
First one: WTF??? It looks like the cake is supposed to be her dress, but she's reclining on it? That last cake also has random Pokeman characters on it, too.
The last cake...Huh. That little vignette is...is... Huh. And, it can't be accused of being "boring"- I'll give it that! There's a lot of chocolate... Uh-huh. ... .. The little chicks are adorable, and they seem to be "engaged" in the goings-on.....I'm at a loss. There's so much going on that my headache doesn't even know where to start. =^e.e^=
The modeled figures are actually pretty good - except for those hollow, empty, vacuous eyes! (o) (o)
Points to Jen for the Rugrats reference (I didn't even notice in the photo until I read the caption), and points to Jasry for the Calvinball reference.
@SaraV Well, there's Torchic but it's more of a redish-orange color. Maybe Professor Oak is sending in a wave of them to burn the cake to the ground to save kids from being scarred for life by the soccer playing bobble heads.
That first one looks like it's been in the display case since 1982. Even the colors are just...old.
And I was going to join in the chorus of those pointing out Brock and Misty, but I'm afraid I'd have to go down to the bunker. Which wouldn't be all bad, because I'm assuming Theardare is getting lonely down there.
Just...what the hell?
Sadly, the second cake took me right back to my teen years. I am so old. I sat my 8-year-old down recently and explained how, long ago, phones not only had cords, but they were HOOKED TO THE WALL. It nearly blew his little mind. After letting the information sink in for a moment he asked, "How did you go anywhere?" Kids!
When did Obama take up soccer?
Calvinball!!! Bring back Calvin and Hobbes!!!
The girl w/phone cake is a good looking cake, and very popular with the over-70 Party Planner Guild. Those cute Casual Girls are probably wishing they had such a cool phone!
No. 3: "BIG ¡dOORM"?
1) I wonder what's going on underneath that skirt. If you know what I mean... Say n'more, say n'more... Wink's as good as a nudge, to a blind bat...
2) The presence of the weird, deformed cartoon dog leads me to believe that might (supposed to) be a character from a comic strip, perhaps. Or Amy Pond's alternate universe evil twin. One of the two.
3) If you play it backwards, it attempts to say, "!Some Pig", so clearly, it's a "Charlotte's Web" tribute cake. No, really. HONest. The voices said so. And they're never wrong. (Except that one time...).
4) Those are just two of the Extras from Simon Pegg's new movie, "The End of The World". They're quite harmless, really.
5)... (blinkblink)... (blink)... (blinkblink)... I got nuthin'...
1st one looks like when the stripper pops out of the cake!!!
Cake Number 4, while appearing to be a “novelty” cake (see writing below figures) is, in fact, a cleverly disguised statement about the “glass ceiling” in the work place. While to the casual observer, this is just a cake with two people on it enjoying a snack, to those in the know it is much, much more. Looking beyond the periphery of the cake into its metaphoric middle, we see two people taking a break from work: a woman, on the left, and a long-haired young man (note lack of lipstick, prominent Adam’s apple) on the right. These clues are somewhat restrained in order to keep with the subtlety of the presentation.
We see that they are sitting on a white background. While traditionally white represents purity, for this cake is represents a variation of the “tabula rasa.” As you recall, “tabula rasa” refers to the theory that we all start life with a “blank slate” in terms of knowledge; however, for this cake, it refers to all job applicants who meet the job requirements as theoretically starting from the same vantage point. Yet, we can easily see the workings of the ceiling here. The woman is portrayed less as a worker and more of an object, as revealed by bare-belly outfit – certainly not corporate attire. And look at the food before them. While the man has an entire cake, the woman has a cupcake and a small sliver of another cake. This speaks volumes, for clearly the woman’s food, or compensation, is far less than the man’s, even though they are equal in ability (see above). And, carefully note that the woman’s slice of cake is clearly not from the man’s cake: it is only one layer and there is no indication that the man’s cake is missing a piece – a restrained yet shrewd statement about business not being willing to level the compensation playing field.
And, to continue to reveal the disparities, observe at the flowers near the two people. While there are only two near the woman, there are five visible near the man. They unmistakably denote commendations given to the employees and plainly reveal another aspect of the ceiling. Thus, while at first blush we have an innocent looking cake featuring two people enjoying a snack, upon a second look we see the struggles inherent in working under a glass ceiling.
And, finally, two side notes. First, the baker’s name, though somewhat obscured in the picture, looks to be “Special Occasions.” The irony of this is not lost on us, as dealing with the glass ceiling is not a special occasion, but, unfortunately, a common one. And second, the baker reveals another, cleverly cloaked irony in the attire on the figure of the man – chasing the corporate dream may not be all it is painted as being: he is, in a modern, up-scale version, the man in the gray flannel suit.
O.M.G. I'm getting my daughter a princess cake for her birthday, her third birthday. I hope it doesn't look anything like this princess cake. The baker told me she bought and I quote, " Maxima ( our current queen, i'm dutch) dolls from a local garden supply store. So when I see this, I don't hope I will be the next Dutch upload on cake wrecks. So help me Maxima almighty. ;)
I do like how the background of the second cake gives the illusion that you can see the rack through it.
Cake #2 doesn't look particularly wrecky to me; just anachronistic.
I just want Angelica to whip out a Pokeball: "Reptar, I choose you!"
Sharyn, your song makes this entire comment section!
Thanks, Sharyn. Theardare has something for me in the bunker, you say? I'm sure he does...
@Colleen: good catch.
#1 I know Party Hard Barbie has a reputation to live up (down) to, but pink champagne should really be enjoyed in moderation. I doubt that skirt can be cleaned...
#2 Wreckorator 1: "I can't wait to show off my perspective drawing skills!"
W2: "Yeah, well, Julie's mom was less than bowled over. She said her daughter isn't 13 going on 23, doesn't bend at right angles in the middle of her back and doesn't have arms that extend to her knees. Julie does bear a passing resemblance to Juice Newton but has no idea who that is, and she has never seen a phone with a cord on it. Oh, and sticking your thumb in the frosting when you were moving it wasn't exactly a selling point. Other than that, it was fine."
#3 Oh dear. Someone's last day, by chance? In what alphabet does an upside down 'R' substitute for 'H'?
#4 Not saying the espresso here is strong, but one cup is plenty. Know what I mean?
#5 Soccer. The chicks dig it.
@Colleen, funny you saw Obama, because I was going to point out the multiple Mitt Romney Soccer Clones.
It's strange, but I really love the two aliens on the 4th cake.
If only I had any crafting skills whatsoever, I'd sew myself plushies that look exactly like them.
OK, that last cake is just wrong--those are not even really Peeps! Non-Edible chicks! I would help eat all that white and brown chocolate, and any cake that might possibly be under all that flotsam, but why--WHY???--have fuzzy chicks when there could have been more sugar??
I'd get that last cake just because of the craziness and the Pokemon flotsam.
What is the joker in that karate outfit doing next to the soccer field in that last tableau? Providing the first aid? And the cop hiding behind that (grenade) bush? I think he must be off duty...
Last one is not a cake is a "mona de chocolate" a traditional Easter present in Northeast Spain (Catalonia) given from godparents to their godchildren.
It's not cake as I said, but ellaborate chocolate creations and the "grenade" is a textured Easter egg, which used to be the main thing in the past, now it's just an element of the ellaborate display. The motifs often relate to the child's interests, like the little guy's football team in this case. This one was a bit over the top though, footballers, chicken and cartoon characters all in one. Not the rule.
The original thing used to be some kind of bun (similar to a brioche) with one or more eggs called "mona de pascua" (Pascua means Easter), but the chocolate variety is more popular, due to obvious reasons (like not being in a post-war country for a few decades now and chocolate being a lot more tempting than a brioche).
So it's now basically chocolate creations of different sizes, some quite artistic like this (Barcelona's cathedral, a present to the Pope apparently) http://yomelocomo.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/espana-visita-papa-mona-de-la-sagrada-familia.jpg
This one is also nice http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5h7CG9JTNME/UJqTaPSkLYI/AAAAAAAAAAc/h1m3qdZ-QsY/s640/mona.jpg and it's aaaall chocolate!!
I found a good example of the original bun with a textured Easter egg (never thought why they are textured), or a "grenade" for you if you're unfamiliar with that kind of Easter eggs. Maybe some kind of half way solution between the traditional bun and the chocolate version http://www.bloghalconviajes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/mona.png
Google "mona de chocolate" and "mona de pascua" if you're interested in seeing the differences.
When I opened this on my iPad, I could see only the first layer of the doll cake -- which was wrecky enough. But that bottom layer (shudder) doesn't with the doll cake AT ALL. Broken cake + broken cake does NOT equal fixed cake.
I found the grenade. I hope it goes off and blows that disaster to smithereens. Cacti with nipples?
The footballers are images of actual famous footballers.
Sorry to disappoint you Colleen, it's not Obama, the bald guy could be Eto'o an African top player who played with Barcelona years ago. Or if the mona (Catalan chocolate... thing) is recent it could be some Brazilian guy, again amongst the best in the world, it's only I don't keep up too much with Barcelona players to know their names.
And of course there are chickens, it's Easter!!!
The only apparently missing thing from that last one is, well, cake.
Cake #4: Earth Boys Are Easy"
Sidenote on Cake #2: It reminds me of the time I took my twin 10-y-olds to the mall and pointed to the old-fashioned coin-operated public phone set into the wall (it had a cord and buttons and everything!). They had no idea what it was when asked, and were frankly dubious when told it was a phone. I think they thought I was being stupid again.
Happy Birthday Craig! (with sprinkles) I hope Theadare was nice.
I do believe that I have the same look on my face as those two unique females; after seeing these cakes.
I less than 3 Gossamer...in a completely stalkerish way ;-)
Happy Birthday @Craig! Theardare has cake for you, with sprinkles! You might want to wear earplugs tho.
That first one looks like it's trying to imitate whatever Miley was doing at the VMA's. Both are equally terrifying O.O
I'm afraid to look away from the lazer eyes.
Many happy returns, Craig!
For fondant baby followers - the first person noticed the jar on my desk last night. It was the secretary. She was the appropriate proportions of fascinated, appalled, and squicked out. Because this is exactly how I feel about fondant babies, it made me very happy.
Thanks, 'guys'!
"Celine Dion sings Manilow's arrangement of 'Happy Birthday'" -- Theardare, you shouldn't have. Really. Not every song in existence benefits from a closing modulation to C.
Just finished watching "Water, Water, Every Hare" and "Hare Raising Hare". :-)
On further reflection (and owing to the comparative lack of cake involved), I figured #5 was a Mona de Pascua de Chocolate. I do think that Watterson should be petitioned to bring back C&H with all speed, though -- it's been entirely too long since I've seen a good Calvinball match.
@Craig: Happy Birthday! I hope the day was a great one for you, and the year ahead is filled with wondrous things (and, of course, many, many more posts)!
@Jasry CALVINBALL!! whoop
@BADKarma really?? Monty Python, The Doctor, Charlotte's Web and Simon Pegg in one post? (sigh) I feel so inadequate...
#1 See, Miley, you can get almost the same effect clothed.
Happy birthday, Craig! :D And many more!
@BADKarma: ("I wonder what's going on underneath that skirt. If you know what I mean...")
Heh heh... OHyeah--that's a "zone" look if I ever saw one.(And, by the looks of that skirt, there's room for a whole dang FRAT house in there. =^@.@^= Oh-and I LOVED the Charlotte's Web reference!! Only problem with that is, whenever I think of Wilber now, I hear Mr.Ed's voice! ("Wiiilllberrr-is that you?")