SHARKNADO
July 15, 2013 If you're like me, then all the uproar in the news the past few days has you asking the hard questions about our society.
Specifically, what the heck is "Sharknado," and why is everyone talking about it?
Well, after extensive research*, I've determined that a sharknado is what happens when one of these:
(*I watched the trailer.)
;)
... picks up some of these:
;)
... and dumps them on a group of D-list actors in the midst of painfully-scripted relationship woes.
This is all, of course, due to climate change.
Now, you might expect a tornado dumping the ocean's contents onto dry land to look like this:
;)
Saddest. Birthday cake. EVER.
But happily Hollywood has set the record straight by revealing it would actually look like this:
;)
Only with more chainsaws. And explosions. And bad one-liners. ("Give 'em a hand!")
There are also plenty of bombs being thrown from helicopters because - why didn't I think of this? - the D-list actors have to shoot the sharks out of the sky:
;)
Pew pew, monkey fighters!
If you're starting to think this just might be the greatest movie ever made, then I should warn you that the sharks do NOT come with frickin' laser beams on their heads. (Sorry, Dr. Evil.)
However, it does "star" Tara Reid, so those of us who haven't seen it yet can still hold out hope for a happy ending.
;)
Don't worry; I have it on good authority she went in there with a chainsaw.
Thanks to Ted S., Jennifer M., Liz B., Boo, Thia S., & Marley Y. for the classic "fish-out-of-water" tale.
Reader Comments (67)
Cartilaginous
lightwave amplification:
Sharkhead laser beams.
Well I am very happy now to not have cable. So I missed out on Sharknado lmao. Will have to make do with these cakes and laughing til I cry tonight. Oh my goodness. I cannot stop laughing at the shark cake for poor pop. Ahh the kids must have loved him lol.
Enough said!
#Lol...
So a sharknado is what happens when a killer carrot of death meets a fake monster/real criminal from "Scooby-Doo," falls in love and spawns?
Who read Wil & Anne Wheaton's live tweeting during Sharknado? I didn't get to see the movie, but their comments about it made it seem like the Best. Movie. Ever.
Ok I just knew it. All your commenters are professional comedians. No fair.
"Fish out of water"tale--literal LOL!
Dearest Lori, I love you. "cownami!" Oh, I'd pay to see that!! :D
Do they have laser beams on their udders?
SHARKNADO 2 WILL BE MADE!!!! I'm hoping for a Christmas special...one where Santa gets the help of NORAD to avoid the sharknados and lil Ralphy blows away one of the sharks with his red ryder bb gun? Yeah, like that.
As for the cakes, people should stop putting shark fins on beluga whales. It's just mean. (last cake)
Okay, I don't get TV so I had no idea that Sharknado was even a real thing until I started reading the comments. I just thought it was a funny thing Jen made up for the post. Had to IMDB it for proof because I was having a hard time believing. Oh my... it's true! Now I'm realizing that when wreckers quit working at bakeries and move on they move on to writing, directing, and/or acting in movies (such a Sharknado.) Good to know!
@ Barbara Anne ....and, as Emma previously said... "Are they... ill-tempered?" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Good one, Emma! (& Lori!)
@ Sarah B. - Aaaawwww. You made my day! {BLUSH}
We caution people not to watch this movie without appropriate Sharknado Safety Training.
http://blog.convergencetraining.com/2013/07/sharknado-safety-training.html
@Jeff - Ah-ha! Sneaking in a plug for your company/workplace, eh? (Actually, it's quite good. I read the Mayan one, too. Heck, even the CDC realized that the only way to get people to prepare for *real* emergencies is to offer advice on *fake* ones like the Zombie Apocalype if they want anybody to pay attention! :-)
I am one of the ten people who actually saw Sharknado. It was soo funny! I heard they are made a new movie called Ghost Shark. Can't wait to see it!
If I was a shark and I saw this as a shark I would be shrivering right now and scared. *hides in corner*
i love this last cake
JK LOL I'LL NEVER GET NEAR ANOTHER SHARK TANK AGAIN!!!!!!