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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun142013

Celebrating A Farther Day

[running in]

Quick! Farther's Day is coming! DO SOMETHING!!

"......."

 

DO SOMETHING ELSE!

[wide-eyed side stare]

 

Look, here's some random sports-related flotsam. Just try to tie it all together somehow.

PERF.

 

Oh, and be sure to spell it right: it's FARTHER'S day. See?

 

So not Fathder's Day:

 

FARTHER'S day:

 

K, now you try.

Nooo...

 

Getting warmer...

 

BINGO.

 

And now, BIG FINISH!

[crickets chirping]

 

BIGGER FINISH!!

"Super TAT?"

Ok, sure. Let's go with that.

 

Happy Farther's Day, everyone!

 

Thanks to Melissa W., Heather B., Karen M., Jacob M., Jack L., Laure T., Leslie P., Nikki M., Molli M., Sara H., & Angela P. for at least not mixing it up with "further"- because, seriously, that is the WORST.

« Sunday Sweets: Dad's Day | Main | What A Dad Wants »

Reader Comments (91)

I weep for our country... O_o

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Remove the "h" from "Farther's Day" and you pretty much have what we celebrate around here...

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The balloons on the cookie have faces. Scary faces. That look at you.
*shudder*

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Sung to "Call Me Maybe" (Sorry for the earworm...)

That piping isn't done well
And that shirt cake looks like hell
U'R sporty, Dad, I can tell
What does that red cake say?

That "d" just made me go ish
Just spell it right, that's my wish
Extra "h" makes you oafish
And "forther's" not OK

LIke this cake I'm holding
Too much dough is showing
What's "TAT"? Temper's growing.
I think I'll be going, baby...

Hey, I don't get this.
Have I gone crazy?
Please, can't you spell it
"Farther" maybe?

Your cakes don't look right.
C'mon baby!
Why don't you spell it
"Farther" maybe?

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Does that first cake have croutons on it???

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

It really does make you wonder how these people speak. Always assuming, of course, that they are familiar with phonetics.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

As do I, mindy1.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBea

OK, if I squint my eyes I can see TAT become DAD with those whispy little things to the right of the letters, but at first I thought they were going for Super TATA(s).

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Is it just me, or does the first cake have croutons?

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M

I've seen that crack (on "cake" #10,) before. It was on my wall when I was little, and now it's here. How is that possible!?

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSam

I see Dad spelled out in the last one, but you have to squint to focus. D's are hammers and tacks that drift off to ZZZZZ's at the end. The wreckerator got tired after all that hard work

I also saw Farther at my local grocery store a couple of years ago. And another one that had a saw on it and the wording was "Happy Fever Saw" which made absolutely no sense at all. When confronted with the error, the wreckerator said, "But I copied it right from the decorating book!" OMG.....THERE'S your problem! There's a Wreckerating Guide for grocery stores, guaranteed to be featured on Cake Wrecks!

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharon's Edible Art

#6 looks like it says Happy Farther's Gay. That's a whole nother discussion... And are all of these cakes made here in the USA? Father is a word we all learn to spell relatively early in school. What the heck?? and I love the sad ballons on the empty cookie. They look so disappointed

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKrysmon

I, for one, am looking forward to Falker Sather's Day.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdlauthor

Super TAT!!!!! LOL

Yes, those do look like croutons on the first cake. :-o

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

*blinks* Totally croutons...herby/sweet...the new salty/sweet...

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeckah

Are there croutons on the first cake???

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

OMG - I read through that so panicky-like because you said "Quick!" LOL. These are amazing.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecky W

i have decided that we can no longer blame all cake spelling errors on ESL people. Have you looked at the run-of-the-mill speller in the US recently? You can't can't even blame it on the Put-a-piping-bag-in-their-hands-and-the-brain-freezes syndrome. It's everywhere. (And we won't discuss my spelling errors, thank you. It's all the fault of learning keyboarding skills on a typewronger.)

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

GOT to love the miniscule " *HAPPY* Dad's Day!" flotsam (could they SPARE it??) on the cookie. Even the "balloons" look sad and /or depressed.
Actually, they remind me (a worrisome lot) of the "folks" (for want of a better word) in the Munch painting "The Scream."
@Debbi: Yes, they ARE croutons. I tasted one.Trust me, they were the best part.

=^e.e^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I'm trying to figure out what barbed wire and a screwdriver have to do with each other and with "Fathder's" day. Is it a not-so-subtle threat directed toward dad?

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Are... are those CROUTONS???

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJables

ROTFL!!! Great wrecks!!

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

That last one looks like it has a pair of incontinent blue storks.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

#9: all you need to do is take out the "H" and it's pretty accurate. At least it was in my house growing up. Miss ya dad!

#10: Even the, ahem, "balloons" look sad!

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdutchgirl

<3 Sharyn !!

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentershannon

No, they aren't just any croutons... they're the gourmet cheese butter garlic & herb ones.
Jumbo.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterem

If corn nuts can go on a Kwanzaa cake (Sandra Lee), then it stands to reason that croutons can go on a cake too. :) Bleah!

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharon's Edible Art

@Jables:
Sadly, yes--the Crouton Theory has already been "tentatively verified". Not by a PATHOLOGIST or anything, but still...
=^u.u^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The last one makes perfect sense. It's celebrating Dad's new ink. He got the "Superman" logo tattooed in the middle of his left butt-cheek. No, really. HONest....

... .. ..... (blinkblink)... WHAT!??!!

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Wait, are those croutons on the first cake?
And I am glad to see the whole 'sounding out' how to spell a word thing is working, based on regional dialects.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

#6 -- You know what every Dad wants to eat for Father's Day? Glitter.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Disillusioned tat
pats his weeping pocket, but
no consolation.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

This just in: There has been an as-of-yet unconfirmed report that the objects on cake #1 may in actuality NOT be croutons, as previously reported. Sources are now tentatively referring to these objects as "Hash-Browned Potatoes." Stay tuned for further (and hopefully more tasty) developments.
=^-.-^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

At least the sports cake had teams from the same geographic area.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTodd

@ Sharyn <3

As for the Crouton Controversy of Farther's Day 2013 - I had initially given the bakers the benefit of the doubt and thought the items in question were bits of cheesecake (like the kind you find in cheesecake ice cream). I know, you're all going to say "What were you thinking?!" but, in my defense, it simply never occurred to me that croutons would go on a cake....clearly I'm not cut out to be a wreckerator ;)

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

No, the last one says "DAD", all right. The baker simply did the bows of the "Ds" in blue nails, or caltrops, or something. It's kind of hard to tell because it's so off-center, but it's pretty clear if you stare at it long enough.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine Raymond

@Sharon's Edible Art: We don't use that name -- we call her She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or You Know Who. Otherwise, the Snatchers come...

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Oh my! Fluffy Cow, I agree with you about the faces. And the middle one looks like it is a squid with a moustache!

I didn't think of croutons at first on cake #1 -- I thought of doggie kibble!

On cake #2 I was wondering why dad had been shot. Then I realized it's not supposed to be blood, but rather, buttons. Yikes!

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

SuBee mentioned (indirectly) the concept of a "Farter's Day". I say that while there IS a distinkt and reasonable possibility that a lot of folks would take this idea an run with it (as far away as possible), I just can't see it catching on, at least, not in the "Hallmark" sense. This is an injust world, in so many ways. ((sigh)) But, if there WERE to BE such a thing, the card companies could make mucho deneiro, as ANY day has the potential! Hmmm...that just gave me an idea: how about a "Diarrhea Day"? SURE, it would catch on!! Someone could really CLEAN UP with THAT idea! (and talk about "running" with an idea!) Where's that good old, red-blooded, entrepeneurial American spirit?? Huh? HUH??
=^u.u^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Because not quite enough people have commented on the crouton situation yet, I thought I'd add my thoughts. (I know, you're excited about that, aren't you?!) I didn't think they were croutons; I thought they were cubes of marinated tofu. I don't think that's any better, though, and the weeping raspberries seem to agree with me.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I'm really struggling with the barbed wire cake with the screwdriver. Now if it was a SHIV, maybe it could be one of those great "Happy Farther's Day, Welcome Home, Jailbird" cakes, but the screwdriver just ruins it.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

What, no "Happy Farter's Day?" That would have been a real gas.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHM

@zoomom: Yup, I had tofu, too.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I have a crouton theory...

So the morning shift baker finished up her shift, leaving a few cakes unfrosted for the afternoon shift to complete. She went off to do her grocery shopping before going home. She had picked up a box of croutons and was about to head to produce to get the fixings for salad when her phone beeped. It was a text message from the afternoon shift baker who was having trouble reading an order. So back she goes, now with a box of croutons in hand. Morning baker places her croutons on the counter andthen she and afternoon baker begin having a debate whether the box titled "Comments" on the order form holds the exact text the customer wants, or if it also includes instructions on what color that text should be. (I won't tell you who believes that the colors are not instructions but text to be included on the cake). Frustrated, morning baker leaves, (THIS IS KEY) leaving the box of croutons on the counter. Thirty minutes later, afternoon baker is moving on to frosting/decorating the Father's day Cakes, and sees the croutons on the counter with the other decorating items for the father's day cakes. Without even a hesitation, she starts adding the croutons to the cakes, I mean obviously, someone left those there with the other decorations, so surely they most go on the cake, right?

And that is how we ended up with croutons on the cake.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Man, I sure hope that we don't end up going all EPCOT on the crouton thing. I'm so full now I couldn't eat another cr-- er, CRUMB if my life depended on it.
=^e.e^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Lol@sharyn and Haiku joy

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

cheesecake bites- not croutons. That's my theory.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHmmmm

LMAO!!! My ex-husband always said Farther and I'd correct him... he would get really angry about it. Then one day he signed a card for his niece "Uncle (x hubs) and Aurntie Tina." I was horrified. Glad to know his language exists out there somewhere!!

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTina

All I can think of is Austin Powers and Goldmember:

Happy Fahzer's Day!!

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

All I can think of is Austin Powers and Goldmember:

Happy Fahzer's Day!!

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

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