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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Oct072013

Let's Shut Down This Party, Bee-Yotches!

I'll admit I haven't really been following the news because, y'know, Pinterest, but from what I can tell the U.S. government shut down last week because Miley Cyrus had sex with a wrecking ball.

You know what that means?

That means ANYTHING GOES, my friends. ANYTHING. There are no rules! I can post whatever I want! Like this!

I hear the store only sells these in pairs.

 

Or this!

Because Friday's placenta cake needed an appetizer.
(Or does that make this the main course?)
[evil grin]

 

That's right, my friends, today we get to have our CACE and drive it, too!

Whatever that means.

 

In case you think another angle will make more sense:

It won't.

 

Wow, this no-rules thing is so liberating! I FEEL ALIVE! Let's... let's... let's glue a bunch of brownies together with a big glob of icing!!

 

And then let's decorate a box of beer... like a CAKE! Haha!

Bud Light? Dude, you just got punked... TWICE.

 

Of course, a wild and crazy ride like this can never last, my dear wreckies. At some point, someone has to pay the piper.

Sooo... how much do we owe you, Janine M.?

 

Thanks to Amy D., M.P., Rilo, Kimberly R., Paris S., and Janine M., a baker who knows how to make the best of a situation when cupcakes meet an untimely demise.

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Reader Comments (37)

Sung to "Anything Goes"

Pre-shutdown days Doo ghosts were shocking
Now placental fruit is rocking
Oh wow, that nose...
Anything goes.

And drivers misspell cake and drive it, too
Brownie art's made with frosting glue
And oh nos! Sad cupcake woes.

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Please, please tell me that horrific thing inside the watermelon wasn't being sold as food.

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

We don't need no wreckeration.
We don't need no Cake Wreck rules.
No cake in the beer abomination.
Wreckers leave them cakes alone.
Hey, wreckers! Leave them cakes alone.
All in all, it's just a Cake Wrecks post without rules.
All in all, you're just a Cake wrecks post without rules.

With apologies to Pink Floyd (and Sharyn!)

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

Ghost-hunting puppies
shouldn't go on their victims.
Scooby Dooby Don't.

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

@Zippy:
Ah!! That's one of my all-time favorite Pabst Pink Ribbon beer songs!
( "...all in all, it's just another beer in the cake.")

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Those cupcakes look like they've been on a Cruz.

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

poo ghosts…
a watermelon fetus that looks like Woody Allen…
a drivable cake…
brownies gone wild…
a six-cake…
a church pot-luck Jell-O mold desecrated by cupcakes…
it can only mean one thing...
it’s here…
Apocakelypse…!

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

The Beatles were right:
And in the end, the wreck you make
Is equal to the cake you bake.....

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSir Laffsalot

I liked the watermelon creature. His expression was quite apt.

Not sure what to make of the last one though - drunk college cupcakes partying it up in a swamp?

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDNA

I've seen Ted Cruz driving around in his car, so that one came as no surprise.
I can't top Sharyn or mel or Zippy or DNA or Laffsalot or SaraCVT or Haiku Joy,
so I'm going to go back to bed. If it's good enough for my congressional representatives, it's good enough for me.

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

@mel:
It DOES look like Woody!!
On the last one, the cupcakes remind me of ("Oooh, nooo!") Mr.Bill, from the original Saturday Night Live show(circa 1970's).

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

As a 2nd Generation Houstonian, I am embarrassed that someone didn't spell-check his/her Art Car. There are tons of kids that go to the Art Car Parade every year and several schools participate as well. Not exactly helping with raising literacy standards, are we? Hhhmmm...maybe I should join the Art Car Parade Board & get a rule requiring accurate spelling on all entries passed...

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

The alien in the watermelon has me all kinds of freaked out. O.O

I'm trying to figure out if the car is just really dirty or did they actually put frosting on it??? Spackle maybe???

I would still eat Mt. Brownie :-)

That Bud Light cake would totally work for a redneck birthday. I have a few cousins who would love it!

The drunkin' cupcakes made me giggle.

@mel ~ I've been sitting here for the last 10 minutes trying to figure out exactly how one would pronounce that. o.O

@Zippy ~ I'm pretty sure Pink Floyd would totally forgive you for that. ;-) Well done!!!

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I am ashamed to admit i'd eat the brownie frosting thing O_o the alien/fetus fruit D: D: Sharyn and Haiku joy lol

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

OK, in defense if the beer can cake: I think this is a MARVELOUS idea! I don't drink much beer, but I do like Bud Light. It's kind of difficult to find really good beer in cans, and it would be tough to frost a bunch of bottles.

The Doo Doo ghosts are from the Twilight Zone: doo dee doo doo . . . . doo dee doo doo. . . . .

And that watermelon . . . thing. . . . Just needs to go into the garbage. It killed my appetite.

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@Jodee, unfortunately, I'm afraid that's supposed to be a fetus, rather than an alien. :-/

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

I have to admit, the iced 12 pack is a good idea...

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

I am so HOPING that the watermelon was part of a science experiment/health class project on what an unborn baby looks like... that's got to be the only explanation.... Right?

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLissy

@Jodee: apocalypse/Apocakelypse...I'd keep the accent where it belongs, on the 2nd syllable. So, it will sound like: a-POCK-ake-lypse. It doesn't exactly roll right off the tongue, but you may not need to use the word too often in your everyday life. ;-)

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Okay, I give. WTH is going on with that last... cake? Pickle tub full of jello? Large tub of frozen margaritas? Margarita jello with embedded cup cakes (like jello shots minus those pesky little cups, plus cake)? I need to know!

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKdot

Hey, did you know that hanging cakes are a thing? I googled... Some are pretty neat, but I'm terrified of the wrecks that await!

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJinx

Hey, did you know that hanging cakes are a thing? I googled... Some are pretty neat, but I'm terrified of the wrecks that await!

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJinx

That watermelon-jello thing. Is that Voldemort in the cauldron with the blood of Harry Potter??
Which would be better than it being the inside of one of those baby shower bump cakes. Definitely.

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commenternanalettie

I think I'm off of watermelon for life. That thing does look a bit like Voldemort inside. I feel bad for the poor drowning cupcakes.

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

@Jodee & sendingtheclowns: sorry for the confusion....
a-PA-cake-lypse

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

I'm thinking the beer cake was a way to sneak booze in somewhere it wasn't allowed. Else it was a great gag.

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterValerie

Well, I was sort of wondering what alien gestation looked like. Didn't know it involved watermelons, though.

"Let's... let's... let's glue a bunch of brownies together with a big glob of icing!!" Like that's a bad thing?

October 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Now I can never look at watermelon the same again or even dare to eat it lol. Wow. The new ways wreckerators make food look unappealing never ceases to amaze me.

October 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Is it wrong that I think the watermelon is kinda awesome in a see-how-many-people-you-can-make-terribly-uncomfortable-and-a-bit-queasy, "how did you think watermelons reproduced?", "can i offer anyone a refreshing slice of amniotic gel?" kind of way?

Oh.

Well, then...I don't want to be right. If you hear the occasional maniacal giggle, just assume I'm not planning holiday pot luck dishes. It'll be more fun if everyone is horrified surprised.

October 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonnaB

Considering that it's so obvious that brownies should be glued together with fudge, and globs of supermarket sludge-frosting makes the humble, nearly-childlike-in-its-simplicity brownie practically inedible, and the oh-so-tempting grease spot radiating out from the foothills of brownie mountain there, I think it qualifies as a solid tripple wreck.

On a sidenote, I think the sprinkles add just the right amount of pizzazz. I love sprinkles, they're like edible confetti you can toss at whatever you want without having to endure lecures about "appropriate behavior" or "blah blah blah solemn occasion...respect for the dead yadda yadda" (unlike real confetti. Apparently.)

October 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonnaB

The Watermelon Foetus Creature is giving me the Fear.

October 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

The best part of the beer can cake to me is that the cans are UPSIDE DOWN in the case!!

For those who like their beer cake shaken and not stirred.

October 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEd

@DonnaB ~ "can i offer anyone a refreshing slice of amniotic gel?" made me gag O.O

@mel ~ Thanks for the clarification :-)

October 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Oh. My. GOD. Enough with the fetus cakes, wreckers! Enough! You are doing nothing to alleviate my fear of pregnancy and demon monster fetuses from Hell!!

October 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

When I turn my head from side to side, the watermelon baby's eyes follow me. Maybe I should stop turning my head from side to side.

October 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChocolateMouse

yahahaha and thanks@sharyn for the musical theatre fun

October 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

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