Thursday
Sep272012
Birch, Please.
September 27, 2012 
Me: AAAUUGH! BWAHAHAAA!
John: What? [seeing cake] What IS that?
Me: [laughing]
John: Is it a cow? Buried face down?
Me: [still laughing]
John: Wait, no, I think it's a tree. A birch tree.
Me: [shrill cackling punctuated by honking, bugle-like snorts]
John: Is there a two-liter in that thing? Seriously, look; I think there's a soda bottle in there! Jen?
Me: [wiping eyes] Oh, so you're saying it's all bark and no bite?
John: Ug, that's terrible. We need some good puns.
Me: Hey, if you don't like my puns, you can make like a tree, and GET OUT OF HERE.
John: That's it. No more Back to the Future marathons for you.
Me: Awww. You are my density, baby.
Thanks to Amanda C. for proving there's nothing shady at all about a tree stump with two limbs.
;){kind=link}
Reader Comments (81)
You can tell by the scarf-adorned deer head in the background that this is a classy, classy establishment that hosts only the finest of parties.
*gigglesnort* Dear god, that cake looks like a 3rd-grade papier mache project!!
Seriously is that a 2 liter in there??
What are the little bottles hanging off of it?
Well, it goes well with the deer head mounted on the wall...
This is why there are no birch Ents in The Lord of the Rings.
it looks like a dog stuck in a tire upside down. weird legs tho, lol
Looks like it is in Fire Swamp. Look out for rodents of unusual size! Scary.
John and I must think alike. The first thing I saw was a branded cow buried upside down. I thought the legs were twisted in some weird dance position
As soon as I saw it, I was reminded of the "Dead Hand" enemies from Ocarina of Time. I hated those creepy guys.
This is what they looked like:
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3cls0Mp6X1rs6o5no1_500.jpg
Sure, I don't know why it would have flowers on it- but I can't see that cake without thinking it's going to try to eat my face.
Like John, I thought it was a cow in upside down. Oh dear. I don't think I'd have ever figured out it was a birch tree.
Sung to Monty Python’s “Lumberjack Song”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zey8567bcg
I’m a lumberjack and that’s my cake
I recycle and then I bake
He’s a lumberjack and that’s his cake
He recycles and then he bakes.
I drink my coke, I rinse it out
Then I roll up my sleeves
Wrap bottles up in fondant
‘Til they look like birch trees
He drinks his coke, rinses it out
Then he rolls up his sleeve
Wraps bottles up in fondant
‘Til they look like birch trees
He’s a lumber jack and that’s his cake
He recycles and then he bakes
Next, buttercream to look like bark
And airbrushed spots in brown
It won’t be done until I hang
Small bottles all around
Next, buttercream to look like bark
And airbrushed spots in brown
It won’t be done until he hangs
Small bottles all around
He’s a lumberjack and that’s his cake
He recycles and then he bakes.
I don’t like your derision
Stop all of those puns, please
Or next time I might make you
Cake with Dutch Elm Disease
He doesn’t like derision
Stop all of those puns, please
Or next time he might make you
Cake with Dutch Elm Disease
I thought the same as Nancy. Is this actually cake?
I think this is what happens when cows breakdance.....although the bottles mystify me.
I wish you guys were on camera. I'd totally DV-R you.
I've always wondered what happened to cows after they get caught in a tornado. Now we all know.
That looks more like one of those larger wine bottles that have the short neck. An empty wine bottle would explain the rest. After all, everything looks better through wine goggles.
Please tell me this isn't for a wedding. Even if it is, tell me it isn't.
I totally see the cow now that John has mentioned it. *snort*
I think the cake is the body that goes with the animal head on the wall. The head has a scarf. The body got the frosting and spice jar accessories.
I'm guessing that it's an anniversary cake for C + N and this cake commemorates their courtship when they had to meet at the birch tree for their rendezvous.
Either that or they love cow tipping. It could go either way, really.
Tree (with apologies to Joyce Kilmer)
I think that I shall never see
A cake as horrid as this “tree.”
A tree whose base is firmly pressed
In Easter grass and a large black mess;
A tree that looks up to the sky
And makes me ask the baker, “Why?”
A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of “what-the-heck-are-those-things?” in her hair;
Upon whose bosom frosting’s lain;
Revealing the baker’s inner pain.
Poems are mad by fools like me,
And clearly, only God can make a tree.
What a horrible depiction of a birch tree. I think the jars might be candle lanterns, like seen at this website. It's common for outdoor parties in some areas.
I too, thought it was a flailing cow at first.
I presume it's "birch beer"?
Looks to me like a 3 liter bottle.
It looks like the tree is saying "Come at me, bro."
Sure that's not papier mache?
I just realized why this looked so familiar- it's a baobob tree covered in birch bark!
Oh dear, and I thought I was the only one who emitted honking bugle-like snorts while laughing hysterically. :)
It does rather look like a cow, doesn't it?
I would like to see the "inspriation" cake, though. I bet it was quite nice.
I thought I had clicked open Regretsy instead of Cakewrecks and it was a paper-mache OOAK centerpiece.
I'm still mystified by the tiny bottles. Is it the moonshine tree?
Maple tree. The bottles are for the syrup.
the little bottles are for gathering birch sap in springtime.. it think.
Thanks for the giggle @Sharyn :) I missed you yesterday!
As for that thing up there... well... I see the upside down cow for sure. However, we had a birch tree in our yard when I was little and it didn't look like a soda bottle.
Back to the Future references for the win!
Also, ugliest tree ever. I agree with all those "soda bottle" statements. Yikes.
The first (and second, and third) things I thought were, "Horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE attempt at a cat... A mutilated, mangled, half-buried cat..." I finally saw "tree" and was actually RELIEVED... How sad is that?
This is one I would really love to know the backstory on. Although lisadh probably guessed it pretty well. Also , just for fun it looks more like an Aspen than a birch too me.
looks like sy snoodles, no?
http://www.rebelscum.com/VINtsysnootles.asp
I'm pretty sure that the little bottles are to hold the tears that must have come to the person who paid money for this.
Seriously thought it was an upside down cow with deformed legs. And I definitely wouldn't be shocked if it had a bottle inside instead of actual cake filling
My first thought was wine bottle. Priceless!
Oh, I guess it could be a maple tree (the coloring is birch or aspen though), then the bottles would make more sense. I guess the little candies are autumn leaves, they are the colors for it. I knew it was a tree rather than a cow because of the carved initials! Could have been a brand though...
Very odd cake.
OMGORSH WHAT IS IT EVEN WHERE IS MY BRAIN (btw the face that your conversations with John are so hilariously entertaining make me want to live inside your head and basically account for the success of this website!!! :D hahaha). xoxoxo
Still laughing.
Glad no one else is in the office today! I won't bust a rib holding in the cackling!
Everytime I have a break in the laughter and attempt to type something witty or sarcastic, I just start cracking up again!
"Bessy fell head first into that tar pit. Sorry to say she's passed on. We tried to pull her out by the legs, but she won't budge. Should I get the tractor?"
"Nah. Here. Put these jars of fireflies around her. She'll be like a warning beacon."
"Wow. That's almost festive looking. If we throw some holiday confetti on her, we won't even have to buy a tree this year!"
Oh, zoomom,you crack me up! We seriously need a like button on the comments.
"This is why there are no birch Ents in The Lord of the Rings.
September 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenter zoomom"
Ummmm...I think it's a fire extinguisher under there.. but.... what are those little colored "dots" all over it? im so confused
BTTF is the B-O-M-B!!!! Love the puns no matter what anyone tells you... (And it does totally look like it is smuggling a 2-ltr bottle, and it's just bizarre...
You watch all the MJF you need... You are my density, LOVE IT!!!
Oh my. WHAT were they thinking??? I think the little jars are either candle lanterns, or firefly lanterns -- you know we used to make them when we camped. I always felt sorry for the little trapped bugs, and preferred to carry a flashlight instead! This cake is sad, on so many levels.
This reminds me of the hanging tree in The Hunger Games trilogy.
So...what is it really? I read all the comments, hoping someone would say what it really is. Jen? What is it really?
Wait, no one has referenced Barq's root beer yet? There has to be a joke in there somewhere between the two liter and Barq/bark.... Someone who is more awake than I am should be able to figure one out!
Jen, you are so awesome. You make me laugh!! you are my density.. *snicker!
When you're alone
And feeling down
And all your hopes are few
remember that the mighty oak
Was once a nut like you
Or in this case...just continuing to be a nut!!