A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
April 2, 2012 "HoooooEEE! Come on down and get your very own genuine 'Nawlins Mardi Gras Bourbon Street Cajun Jambalaya King Cake while they last! '
;)
"Fresh like it was made yesterday!"
"Um, Jim?"
"Yeah, Bob?"
"It's April."
"Oh."
***
"Easter 'Danish rings!' Get your genuine fresh Easter 'Danish Rings' right here!"
;)
Thanks to Chris B. and Alison V. for the peep show.
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Reader Comments (63)
"It's dead, Jim."
Ah, the traditional deep-fried Easter donut-like King-cake-esque confection. With Peeps. And chocolate eggs. 'Cuz nothing says Easter like bunnies and eggs. Now if only *they* were deep-fried...
Is that the same cake in both pictures? Because by the way it looks like they scraped the icing off, it may very well be!
If not, congratulations on a staggering coincidence!
Why is there a random tiny plastic baby in the middle of the first ring??
Uh what is that setting in the middle of the first cake? A one armed baby? Did that think that really added to the cake? Hmmmm and just because you added easter colors to a cake does not make it an Easter cake. That is one Easter mess. lol
Cake number two. Where bunnies come from. It never ceases to amaze me. We teach our children that a fat man in red on flying in a sleigh in the coldest part of the world gives us expensive gifts, that the tooth fairy with give us money for violently pulling out our last bloody tooth, and that bunnies not only lay eggs but they go around giving out candy and gifts as well. Then we have to break their hearts around seven or eight years of age and tell the truth. Yes I am guilty as sin too. lol
Easter Danish Rings are not giant deep-fried donuts covered in icing and sprinkles. Stop trying to scare people!!!
It's a baked brioche; before it's baked, the dough is rolled out and it's filled with delicious foil covered chocolate eggs.. A "plain" Easter Danish Ring is cinnamon, but the really good ones from bakeries usually have some combination of Cadbury Eggs, Jelly Bellies and those bunnies that taste like Circus Peanuts. Easter Danish Rings from grocery stores usually do have that lame doughnut filling with flavors like lemon or strawberry.
Oh, and whoever finds the marshmallow peepbaby does not bake next year's Easter Danish Ring; they bring the next Ring to the next party or gathering that takes place in the bunker. If it's an office situation, the person who finds the peepbaby brings the next Easter Danish Ring when the Ring they found the peepbaby in is eaten. But they're not Easter Bunny for the day. They just have to buy the next Easter Danish Ring.
Also, Easter Danish Rings are beautiful when they're done right. They are a delicious, rare example of a southern dessert that isn't that bad for you. Unless you consider your mental health...
Ummm, is that SPINACH DIP in the center of the Easter Danish????
What is the significance of the baby in the middle of the Mardi Gras danish? Did I miss something? Perplexing...
Shaking head in disbelief! Shame on the store that is trying to pass these off and yes I can recognize the label.
Can you say, "preservative overload"?
I knew you could.
Spinach artichoke
hummus - traditional nest
for gestating peeps.
Wow, that's so......wrong!! And forgive me for asking, but I've never had a King Cake...isn't the baby supposed to be INSIDE the cake???
Cue the anti-humor brigade: "How dare you make fun of traditional, delicious, baked-and-not-fried Danish Rings," etc., etc.
I like coconut, marshmallows, cheap chocolate thingies, and danishes separately, but looking at that combination makes me feel a little ill. Maybe it's the cabbage-purple smears? Or the pus-white and infected-pus-yellow smears? Probably just smears in general.
Oh, come ON, EVERYONE knows that taking away the baby and throwing in a couple stale peeps and a few foil-wrapped chocolate eggs makes it an Easter Danish!!!!
I can SO see someone trying to do that....
What I loved most about that first pic is how the glare on the plastic made it look like the cake was on fire.
Then I was sad that the cake was not actually on fire.
The peep bunnies make it so festive!!!
Sweet jumping Jehoshaphat, even the *picture* looks stale enough to suck the moisture out of my mouth. :-p
Oh my god...
And the sell by date was 3/31/12. Definitely pre-Easter
Oh my god...
You enjoyed King Cake Epcot didn't you?Tsk,tsk.
Bravo SuBee! That was fantastic!
Is there a special King Cake room in the Epcot bunker? Just wondering... I'll bring the peeps!
You just had to poke that whole King Cake thing with a stick one more time didn't you......heehee, naughty Jen!
To those who are wondering why there's a baby in the middle of the first cake, you must go to:
http://cakewrecks.squarespace.com/home/2011/3/7/king-me.html
Then you must read the comments.
ALL OF THEM. It's very educational.
I'm pretty sure that the first cake is a Passover ring cake; it's a special Passover recipe handed down from Bubbie to Bubbie for generations - no flour, no leavening, but it does have a baby Moses, the ring calling to mind the basket where Moses spend his first days. It would be better if he was in a sea of spinach dip, but some traditions leave out the dip in favor of a more crowd pleasing puddle of sugar glaze. The Easter Danish ring, of course, came from this tradition. There is evidence that it was eaten at the Last Supper, along with the very delicious and good for you chocolate covered matzahs.
I think I got a cavity just looking at the Easter Danish Ring.
@ SueBee : - )
SuBee for the win! Jen you just had to poke the bear didn't you? I approve. Now, off to the bunker. Since someone is already bringing peeps, I'll bring the foil wrapped eggs.
@SuBee: Is the Easter Danish Ring delivered by the Holiday Armadillo? (Oh, wait, that's Hanukkah...) Another excellent post. I salute you!
Now I'm off to order some Racine Kringle -- a *real* danish pastry ring -- because you guys put the idea in my head. Don't you realize how suggestable we are? So much for low carb...
Some places don't put the baby inside the King Cake for "liability" reasons. Out of towners are always aware that they are there so they bite down on it and break teeth or might choke on it.
This just shows that the stores had a lot of frozen king cakes that they needed to get rid of.
anyone else notice the baby jockey in the middle of the top pic. ?
It's never a bad time for King Cake.
Those? They're not cakes. Not even close. I'm not sure WHAT they are. They might contain cake ingredients (in questionable proportions, given the appearance), they might be on sale in a cake emporium, from a cake display. They may even be being sold by someone who might be some sort of a cake technician (I hesitate to use the word 'baker' here) but they are NOT cake. Sorry. They're just NOT. Hell, I'm not even sure they'd count as 'baked goods'. Because there's no 'good' about them.
Nice philosophical solution to the vexing problem of baby location in king cakes, which top scientists have been working on for over a year. Technically, it's outside, but at the same time, inside the cake. It does make the baby rather easy to find, though.
The bunker can be equipped with supplemental shielding for especially severe EPCOTs. Tests have shown that this shielding can withstand the highest cluelessness flux ever detected -- we all know when that was. (See how I avoided offending any specific person or group of persons, there.)
Speaking of the bunker, I'll bring the plastic babies; can someone bring a suitably-decorated carrot cake?
I moved to Wisconsin from Louisiana when I was eight years old. In the Germanic north they have a dessert similar to King cakes called Kringles. I thought, "Man, these people must party a lot."
Much to my dissapointment, Kringles aren't the same a King Cakes,they're more like glorified apple turnovers. And there aren't any baby dolls in them either.
I'm jumping in the epcot bunker too. Anyone bringing jelly beans yet?
Why are people confused? It's an American-style King Cake being re-purposed as an "Easter Danish Ring". Fat Tuesday, the day most traditionalists stop eating King Cakes, was February 21. These are OLD cakes, and even fresh-made they don't last long before going stale. So... GROSS.
Plus, without getting political or religious... for those confused about eggs and bunnies on Easter, go read! Both have a very long and rich history with the holiday.
(Sorry, I'm if I'm testy, pain meds have yet to kick in...)
For those of you who have no idea about Louisiana Mardi Gras tradition: The top one is definitely a king cake, and they taste like a cinnamon roll. (And there are some bakeries that will make them year round, but decorate them for different holidays.) As part of tradition, a baby was hidden inside (to represent Jesus since New Orleans especially is heavily Catholic, and Mardi Gras followed by Lent and Easter are religious holidays) and whoever got the piece with it had to buy the next king cake. Since people became sue-happy after they bit on a plastic baby hidden in the cake, they just place the baby in the middle for you to hide yourself after you buy the cake.
It makes me so sad that those are from Publix, they should know better!!!!!
One ring to rule them all!...well......maybe not
@SuBee,
How long until the mental health considerations? I'll take my vacation time then.
Reduce, Reuse, Re-Epcot
The baby in the first photo symbolizes Jesus in a traditional KING CAKE. Not in the Easter Danish pictured here. It used to be baked into the cake but for safety reasons (so the bakery doesn't get sued if someone chokes on it) they now put it outside for the customer to insert later.
@Subee - I laughed so hard I snorted. Kudos!
Oh, @SuBee, I love you!
I find this quite offensive, being from New Orleans. Most people do not pronounce it Nawlins, but rather New Or-lens or New Or-leans. And King Cake is not some weird Jambalaya thing, its a sweet bread-like pastry covered with icing and sugar like the first picture. And we most definitely do not, reuse the same concept of king cakes for all holidays.
I am laughing SOOOOOO hard right now. This is great. Just... I am crying. (BTW thank you so much for updating every day. I so often need a wreck fix just to make it to the next day).
That baby has had enough time to crawl out of the king cake.