Wednesday
Dec192012
Meanwhile, in Portugal...
December 19, 2012 ;)
Marcio B., I would say something about Portuguese Frosty needing a Brazilian, but judging by those expressions, THEY KNOW.
December 19, 2012 
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What's a Wreck?
A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
- Jen
The Classics
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December 19, 2012 
Reader Comments (65)
Frosty, the Snowman, needs some manscaping, I'd say.
He was made of snow, but, um, down below...
Frosty, buy some pants, OK?
...so down to the salon,
Yellow mittens on his hands,
Saying, "I don't care
for those sprinkles down there.
Wax them if you can."
Frosty the Snowman, he was hirsute down below.
But when asked to wax and faced with the facts,
Poor Frosty said, Hell NO!
If you look closely, that "lion" has pooped out some pine nuts.
Oh my, that looks very...dirty :O Sharyn and Kristen all I can say is BRAVO.
Ahhhhhh! *Runs screaming from the computer*
Wait, is Frosty holding a Mickey Mouse syringe?
What is that thing next to Frosty supposed to be? Looks vaguely like a lion, but what do lions have to do with Christmas?
Are those actually paper cupcake liners, embedded into Frosty's frosting?
I don't even want to know what that creature is on the left. Perhaps a nod to a Mayan deity? From a distance it looks like it's made from meat and strips of bacon. No wonder the world is coming to an end on Friday. Frosty with black sprinkles? I see why he's unhappy. AND I spy with my little eye a Mickey Mouse sucker in it's citrus claws?
It looks like Cheesy Beard has chucked pies at Frosty the Hairy Snowman and is now skipping away sticking out his glaze cherry tongue! No wonder Frosty is so mad...
Wha...IDon'tEven...How...Why...
re: Frosty
What's that saying about the curtains matching the carpet?
re: Lion
What's he got that I ain't got?
CURRANTS!
a yeti and a snowman walk into a bar....
(The lion thing) "Aaargh! A nudie snowman!"
Did the Cowardly Lion and the Scarecrow have a horribly deformed love-child?
During these difficult times, it's nice to remember that all people, no matter where they live share one important thing: The feeling of horror/distain/confusion when confronted with a wrecked cake.
and it true tropical style...Frosty has those little cocktail umbrellas as fashionable boots and ear muffs...so styling Frosty....soooo styling !!
The one on the left looks vaguely like a meatloaf (?) or perhaps that jellied headcheese stuff. Ugh. Frosty, IF that is really his name, looks like a couple of Christmas stollen strategically joined and "decorated". I can't unsee them.
...(blinkblink)... (blink)... (blinkblinkblink)... I call "Humperdink". On both of them.
Why? Why? Why? ((Runs and hides under the couch. ))
Actually Krista... I think they're cocktail umbrellas
The Guild refernce FTW!
Hidden Mickey! Hidden Mickey!!!
What do lions have to do with Christians? Well, there were the days of Rome... Not really something I'd look back fondly on, though.
And I prefer to think of the Mickey thing as an icicle of DOOM!!!
Geez, I guess that ugly cakes are universal!
Of course, Dorothy would be the first to mention the "Cowadly Scarecrow."
I think Miss Frostee is covering her uppers with her mittens and wishing she had more hands. The "lion" ... why does it suggest a family of King Cakes stuck together?
I <scrolling up>, ummm... <singing along with Sharyn and Kristin> <scrolling back up> <rubbing my eyes>
Yeah, I got nothin'
Great job ladies! Now I'm off to make a cake for my baby girls 19th birthday! I so don't trust wreckorators anymore. And at least if I make it I'm guaranteed it will taste good!
No, I think Krista was right. Cocktail umbrellas would come to a point. And just to throw a hopeful note out there, perhaps the cheesy beard is shredded, toasted coconut?
I passed this onto my Portuguese hubby for explanation lol
Are does jalapenos on his feet?
What have they done to Grumpy Cat? He has fleas.
nan - well done with the Currants. Sprite out the nose = sign of a cake wrecky morning.
FHAT THE WUCK?!! I rarely ever post comments. I LOVE this site. I am a pastry chef in Nashville. This right here... THIS.... this is being printed off and hung up for all to see.
Are you sure that's a lion? It looks more like the wildermann from Grimm. Not sure what kind of hairy snowbeast he's hanging out with, but a brazilian is definitely recommended!
Oh, look! It's Frosty the Snowtran! And he brought a friend--how nice.
Sharyn, Kristin and Colleen! Too funny!
Voltron of the (Undead) Veggie Tales....with bread. And cheese.
Meanwhile, in other news: "Disney's official word on the Mostly Snow Man: 'He's not affiliated with us!'" (It's a bit vague, but that's one of my (many) favorite Incredibles lines).
No, no, no. Definitely cupcake cups. They are flat on the bottom. AND...I think they are Mickey Mouse cupcake cups. You can see him in profile if you look closely. * +
*Yeah, I missed the last Epcot and decided to try and stir the pot. Now to go make some popcorn and a flagon of something hot, sit on the bunker couch with Theardare and wait.
+ (whispering) just kidding, there is no spoon, er, Mickey. Or is there?
I'm seeing the midget aboriginal luchadores from Nacho Libre
@Paul: Hidden Mickey FTW!
Hey guys! I submitted the picture.
The yellow stuff on the lion is angel hair (eggs and sugar) and that is indeed a chocolate umbrella. :)
Is that "lion"-thingie a further fractured fornication of a fruitcake? * shiver* I need a coconut snowball to wash the taste of that idea out of my brain...and then another one, because, hay, it's Christmas time.
I see Mr. Bill has joined us again today! Although in Portugal he seems to have picked up a tan and a blonde wig! (Maybe it's a disguise)
L: The red things could be cherries, giving me a faint hope that this is something related to a fruitcake, but the 'hair' (which does look an awful lot like shredded cheddar) argues against that. Imagine hoping it's a fruitcake. Oy. Anyway...
R: The things on the 'corners' (can a rounded object have corners?) look like the paper cups that Reese's PB Cups come in. S/he doesn't seem terribly happy, in any event. What's with the Mickey-handled umbrella?
Downloading the image so as to go beyond the rather limited zoom capabilities of the browser, I can make out 'croissant' and 'brioche' in the shelf stickers. Which tells me zero about these, but I thought I'd throw it out there. Couldn't make out the price sticker between, which probably contains a detailed explanation.
Just tell me this isn't something related to a King Cake. Otherwise, the next 500 comments will be about how the great tradition of _____ has been demolished for all time by Jen and the Commenters (which would be a great name for a band).
Warning: this is completely off topic. And kind of miserable.
Friends, I am feeling discouraged. (Not as discouraged as those poor characters depicted in cake today.) I have attempted to leave comments several times recently and they haven't made it. No no no, I'm not accusing anyone of removing them or anything like that; I am sure it is entirely an eye-dee-ten-tee problem on my part. Or I need a new computer. Or a better internet service provider. Whatever. I am missing playing with you all! I hope I get this problem resolved soon; y'all are missing some brilliant wit from me! I've been hysterical and I haven't been able to share it! (Well, maybe not brilliant, but I amuse myself...)
SaraCVT - Congratulations, I just did a spit-take over "Frosty the SnowTran"...
Can someone please explain what a deformed fruitcake lion has to do with christmas? I'm very confused by this.
No, seriously. I am VERY CONFUSED BY THIS. And I'm pretty sure I want to be not confused. (Even though I'm also vaguely scared.)
Holy crap- the one that isn't a snowman bears a striking resemblance to Der Struwwelpeter! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struwwelpeter
I nearly wet my self when I read the caption about Frosty's...err...waxing needs.
Methinks that lion is actually pizza and it's meant to be St. Nick...as a cheddar cheese blonde?.
Those green things on the appendages? How do they fit the Christmas theme you ask?
Hah! I've got it.
OLIVE the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names....
Leonine fruitcake
died of tight corset, orange tan.
Take heed, gingerbread.
Why so mad, Snowdrop?
Tangerine rind hands - normal
for kids at your age.
The one on the left could be a variation on bolo rei, with the 'hair' being a halo. Bolo rei is -- you guessed it -- the Portuguese King's cake. Please note that I said it 'could' be and that I didn't say anything against it (in this comment, anyway). My source on this is both confidential and 100% not made up, but a remarkably similar article may be found at Wikipedia. So I've heard.
I'll be in the bunker.