THE FINAL COUNTDOWN
December 18, 2012 Just one week left 'til Christmas (!!), and the wrecks you guys are sending in just keep getting more bizarre by the day:
;)
THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.
;)
"...and all the acid rain and pollution seeped into Frosty's body, turning him into a petrified statue of ash, all because someone didn't take out the recycling when his parents asked.
"THE END."
;)
Is this:
A) The Eye of Sauron
B) A taco wearing a corset
C) The Eye of Sauron wearing a corset
or
D) Real life?
You might think the simplest, easiest option would be an elegant red bow on a plain white cake.
;)
But, CLEARLY, you would be wrong.
(What did the baker use for a piping tip? His teeth?)
This next one is tentacly titled "I'm dreaming of a Cthulhu Christmas."
;)
Darkly dreaming, of course.
Wondering what those are supposed to be? So was I, until Sarah sent in this photo from a different store:
;)
(Yes, yes, I know it's supposed to be a tree. I just refuse to accept it.)
And finally, a little holiday math for you:
+
=
;)
Angels we have heard below
Softly singing "oh-hh noooOooo!"
Thanks to wreckporters Elizabeth T., Tina, Gene H., Jill W., Billy G., Sarah L., & Amy V. for giving Sharyn a starting point for today's song re-write in the comments. (Challenge: ISSUED.)
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Reader Comments (114)
The green cupcakes look like unripe buddha's hand fruit - here's a link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddha%27s_hand
It's a type of citron fruit. I discovered it at The Berkeley Bowl market when I lived in the East Bay area of California. Kinda weird for sure.
The green spikey thingies with ornaments look like jalapenos gone awry.
My husband says that if he wanted a cake that looked like any of these, he would save himself the $10 (or whatever these cakes cost), drop some acid, and make his own!
It's true, that snowman has no d**k. I was pretty sure the cookie is a "Christmas Shoe."
I can hear Walter screaming. Only you would think of that.
My 9 year old son Rhys says: "the green 'trees' are turkeys badly dressed aka no one would want to eat radioactive turkeys!"!
Of course they're plants: Audrey II and her cousins. (Cue "Mean Green Mother from Outer Space")
Clearly that first one is a cross between Lambchop and MC Hammer! STOP! Hammertime! BWHAHAHA! As for the rest all I could say as I was scrolling down the page was "OH my GOD! What IS that?
The second "Christmas tree" green cupcakes look like peas in a pod. :P
A TREE?! Those green things are supposed to be TREES? I thought for SURE they are the Grinch's claws!
I JUST realized what the first thing is -- a Baaa Humbug. Jen, you clever little Dickens...
Aaaack! bright green piles of poo! that looks like wild animal poo in the spring time....... theres a song there some where..
Can't.Stop.Laughing! Sharyn, you are the master! (Ok, that should probably be "mistress" but that would just take this in a whole other direction and I'm trying to behave!)
I think the first one is the Poodle of Doom - with Jazz Hands!
I think those cupcake "trees" are actually Grinch hands. He's coming for you.
Oh, BADKarma: If karma has anything to do with it, Santa will be very good to you this year.
You made a great song even more greaterer.
I didn't know Weeping Snowmen were a thing. Don't blink or he'll freeze you?
Your acid rain Frosty commentary literally made me laugh out loud! Thank you :-D However, the Cthulu cupcakes made me scared...
I have to tell you that I would LOVE to be able to find one of these cakes to take to an ugly sweater party this Saturday! Or take one to my brothers house for Christmas...his wife decorates beautiful cakes...I'd love to see how they'd react when they saw these on their table!!!
Do you think, if I took these pictures to a local bakery department they could make one just like these!?! ;)
Can't thank you enough for the laughs!
Fantastic! Horribly fantastic! :D
@Sharyn, It just so happens that me and my best friend were in a ATV wreck 2 years before, and she had ruptured her spleen. The bow really looks just like one!
#1 @Julse nailed it.
#2 No wonder Frosty felt taken for granite.
#3 This makes sense in the mind of the creator. I don't know whether to be comforted or frightened by that thought.
#4 "Smith, I said to cut a corner off the piping bag, not the entire end!"
#5, 6 I vote for chili peppers.
#W7 Craft project: Place giant cookie on a platter. Next, take some clay (or paste, if you can't get clay without saying why you need it). Form clay (or paste) in the shape of a bird that has met with an unfortunate accident. So that people won't think that's what you were going for, take a blue marker and draw a 'belt' around the middle. Then take more clay (or paste) and make a ball. Put three smaller balls on this ball in a 'face' shape. Color the 'eyes' blue and the 'nose' red. Then draw in blue 'hair' and a red 'mouth'. Don't worry if it looks like a clown; it isn't supposed to make sense. Decide which way is 'up' on the not-a-bird and place 'head' there. Finish by drawing a yellow line around the 'head' -- this represents the headphones. Garnish with scrambled eggs that were prepared by a helpful-yet-gullible adult.
The green 'things' look like Grinch turds .... ew
My theory is the green ones are the tentacle cupcakes they couldn't sell during Halloween. So they threw Christmas tree ornaments on them and called them trees.
Thank you. Just, thank you.
Haiku Joy has a CakeWrecks Shrine in the closet?! OMG! :-) Is it all the Sunday Sweets? Maybe it's all the "mithspellings" & bad grammar (seeing how you're forced to grade English papers for a living...I'm totally with you on that "teach art instead"!
And Jen, do get that mole checked! Mine was cancerous & they had to take a pea-sized (peanut-sized?) chunk outta my shoulder. (But I'm better now, don't worry...)
Andrea - "from the INSIDE" totally got me!!! Heeheeheehee
Hey, where's Craig's list today?! Could he be busy buying us last-minute gifts?! Ok, maybe not...
(no pressure, Craig...;-)
The "bow" looks like a pile of ripped out tongues to me. Quite disturbing.
It's true; this CCC has no d!ck.
Hmm...I wonder where I can get some Cthulu cupcakes. My husband would be so thrilled!
Kudos to BADkharma!!!! Fabulous songwriting!!! :D
I truly believe those "green things" are actually decorated aloe plants.
Sharyn is the High Priestess of Snarky Cake Wreck sing-alongs...We're not worthy!!
*starts dancing* Disco disco sheeeep! Don't want to be a a disco sheeep! Disco disco sheeep! Don't want a sheep to disco!
hee hee, thank you I needed the laughs today!
#3: My first impression was DNA, especially because you can clearly see the difference between the major and minor groove. But who celebrates the holidays with DNA on a cookie?
@Haiku Joy: Thanks anyway, but the closet is a bit tight since I've stashed all my wall fixtures in there. The walls are now covered in pictures of Jen that I have photoshopped myself into and printouts of Sharyn's wrecky songs. That's not technically a shrine.
@Sharyn: but Jen doesn't HAVE a mole....uh. So I hear. Also: hee, "clever little Dickens". I see what you did there!
@BADKarma and Julse: Teehee!
OMG can't stop laughing today XDXDXDXD Sharyn Haiku joy bahahahaha
So I saw the "trees" as the Grinch's hand reaching out to steal the Christmas bulbs. lol
Sung to the 12 days of Christmas:
For the first picture of this post, what I have to say to is: since when did snowmen have legs? Is this like a new "thing"?
For the second picture of this post, what i have to say is: |-D...Ash Frosty is HILARIOUS and since when did snowmen have legs? Is this like a new "thing"?
For the third picture of this post what I have to say is: B, |-D...Ash Frosty is HILARIOUS and since when did snowmen have legs? Is this like a new "thing"?
For the fourth picture of this post, what I have to say is: Obviously the baker used a spatula as a piping tip, B, |-D...Ash Frosty is HILARIOUS and since when did snowmen have legs? Is this like a new "thing"?
For the fifth picture of this post, what I have to say is:Try saying Cthulhu 5X fast. Actually, just try saying it, Obviously the baker used a spatula as a piping tip, B, |-D...Ash Frosty is HILARIOUS and since when did snowmen have legs? Is this like a new "thing"?
For the sixth picture of this post, what I have to say is: NO!! That better not be a Christmas tree, Try saying Cthulhu 5X fast. Actually, just try saying it, Obviously the baker used a spatula as a piping tip, B, |-D...Ash Frosty is HILARIOUS and since when did snowmen have legs? Is this like a new "thing"?
For the seventh picture of this post, what I have to say is: flying man, NO!! That better not be a Christmas tree, Try saying Cthulhu 5X fast. Actually, just try saying it, Obviously the baker used a spatula as a piping tip, B, |-D...Ash Frosty is HILARIOUS and since when did snowmen have legs? Is this like a new "thing"?
For the eighth picture of this post, what I have to say is: Mr. Bill? Is that you?, flying man, NO!! That better not be a Christmas tree, Try saying Cthulhu 5X fast. Actually, just try saying it, Obviously the baker used a spatula as a piping tip, B, |-D...Ash Frosty is HILARIOUS and since when did snowmen have legs? Is this like a new "thing"?
For the last picture of this post, what I have to say is: The holy Ghost ;-), Mr. Bill? Is that you?, flying man, NO!! That better not be a Christmas tree, Try saying Cthulhu 5X fast. Actually, just try saying it, Obviously the baker used a spatula as a piping tip, B, |-D...Ash Frosty is HILARIOUS and since when did snowmen have legs? Is this like a new "thing"?
#1 yes, it's true- this cake has no, um, (looks around and sees kids) NECK!
#2 the roses are really pretty (murmuring so the kids won't hear: and Frosty's whipped)
#3 down in the bottom left of the photo- it looks like a blue eye coming out of a red tunnel is staring at me!
#4 no, no, you're correct- an elegant red bow on a plain white cake would be the simplest, easiest option. this is not that, however. it does remind me of a diagram I saw for bariatric surgery...
#5 & #6: spot the differences:
two balls vs one (Christmas ornaments, you fools! [eyeing the kids again])
forest green vs. spring green
mixed flavors vs. all chocolate
crummy black tray vs. elegant silver stand on a crummy black tray
...and yet, they are both wrecks!!
#7 a toilet tissue angel rendered in frosting... how artistic...(angels are weeping)... is that belt Tardis blue?
Sharyn, brava!
BADkarma, fabulous!
Andrea, they're okay with camping on the lawn but don't set up a souvenir tent or sing Sharyn's songs into the wee hours. That's apparently a "restraining order" in this town. (sheesh)
Craig, I didn't realize the dreaded SL was doing crafts now- thanks for the heads up.
I'm going to be dreaming about green monsters with ornament heads.
Hmm and here I thought the first one was a moonwalking yeti lol. I really would love to know who on earth thought bows look like that big red mess. Wow. At least it isn't a fruit cake cause who knows what the wreckerators could do to those evil things.
SuBee, Theardare is conflicted. You said these weren't wrecks (alert), but you were making a joke (cool with that). I'll keep the laser pointer on 'standby' just in case.
Glad to hear about the shrines; now I don't feel so weird about the 2016 write-in campaign I've been devising:
President: Jen & John (thoJ)
Secretary of Defense: Karate Lady
Chief of DOC: Barbara Anne
It's a work in progress.
Theardare, warm up your singing voice, 'cause I should have thought of this hours ago:
#1 Frosty the Bluesman. The definitive version was recorded by Denver & The Mile-High Orchestra. It's on Youtube, for your listening and laughing pleasure.
Good god...Is that a bunch of severed tongues on the white cake or are they intestines?
Cakes 5 & 6? I'm telling you I've changed WAY TOO MANY diapers after peas and green beans for that to look like a tree! GROSS!!! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. :-P
They are perfect especially love the green one..Thanks
LOL, tree? tree???? All I could see was jalapenos! LOL LOL
OMG I haven't been here for ages, I should come more often because you make me laugh out loud, now I have to go and show the kids these one! hahahaha!
I'm gonna go with Disco Sheep.
The second picture of the supposed cupcake Christmas tree looks like grasshoppers.
Wow, I haven't checked this blog in a long time. I can't believe there are still so many wrecks out there!
Tsk, tsk. I thought all sci-fi fans could recognise a Vorlon ship? Granted, the green should be more camoflage-y, the ships aren't quite elongated enough, and the Vorlon-approaching-as-a-shiny-ball isn't glowing, but it's a good try for a baker, surely? Goodness knows what it has to do with Christmas. "May you not be visited by almost-omnipotent inscrutable beings"?
Have to laugh at the Walter Peck reference...he's my favorite character in "Ghostbusters"...
Oh. My. Gawd. Those cakes.
::shudder::