Wednesday
Aug032011
Vehicular Cakeslaughter
August 3, 2011 Every now and then - and I'm not saying this happens often - professional bakers have a little trouble making cakes that look like...well, anything. (See examples here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here .)
Perhaps hardest of all is the vehicle cake. There's just something about all those shapes and circles and squares that drives even the most hardened Shop-a-Lot Davinci to edible clip art with the watermarks still on:
Now, if only we had a picture of chocolate drizzle and sprinkles...So let's say you want KITT from Knight Rider on your cake:
Rather than attempt the entire car, your baker might try to home in on KITT's most distinguishing feature:
The ketchup-and-mustard smear under his seat.Or how about this tractor?
At first glance, you might think this could be broken down into a simple drawing of two boxes on two wheels.BUT YOU WOULD BE WRONG.
It's an extremely complicated design, and rendering it in icing is so unbelievably difficult that the finished product would be far beyond the bounds of mere mortal comprehension.
Yeah. Like that.And finally, let's say your child wants a school bus cake:
(Oh, you know this is going to be good.)
Thanks to Andie K., Brooke & Mike K., Lea B., & Pete H. for keeping us on track today.
Reader Comments (62)
"It's not short, it's fun sized." I love it. I wonder how many men will use that line in the coming days.....
OMG, I could have done a better job on any of these cakes. The tractor looks like an automatic weapon.
Jackie
All I have to say is gosh I love you guys, yall always make my mornings happy when I read your posts. :)
That green thing? It's a jet plane, with a kinda John Deere logo.
Love your post, as usual.
that cute car? I'd buy it.
Mocking
The yellow deer looks more like a tractor than the green tractor does.
The Michael cake had me thinking. At first I thought it could be a tongue but I wasn't sure what that yellow spot one and then it hit me. Hey maybe that's a surfboard with the sun on it. Too early for coherent thoughts.
Maybe that's what happens to the tractor after it hits a deer with boneless legs. At least they got the colors right.
I kind of like the fun sized bus. I took a fun sized bus in junior high. It does sound better than taking the short bus.
Bwahaha, these are great. And the "It's not short, it's fun sized." is BRILLIANT! That poor tractor...
John, you have half of your wish for chocolate drizzle and sprinkles picture - see the August 24, 2010 CW post ;) .
Great post, as always.
WV - knowai - I should knowai all these cakes are, but I just can't figure them out...
I love that the wreckerator had to write John Deere on there... just to prove it was an actual tractor cake. Next time, use the Kit wreckerator's tactic and just make a wheel.
"I kind of like the fun sized bus. I took a fun sized bus in junior high. It does sound better than taking the short bus."
--Yeah, Barbara, I thought about that stigma, too, when I saw the stubby bus cake. Kids can be cruel.
wv: nisedin Even if these cakes don't look like much, at least they should be "nisedin", unlike yesterday's dragon cake.
In the name of all things geek, I feel obligated to correct just a small portion of the blog today...it's KITT, not Kit. And the cake rendition, I'm not even sure what that was, but it was neither KITT nor KARR.
The knight rider looks like a bacon strip with a drop of butter on it! That is bad.
That tractor was obviously parked down my street & someone stole the tyres...
Anna B.,
Bwoops. All fixed.
Thanks for the heads up!
john
Needed the laugh-thanks
My 4-year-old nephew is better than these wreckorators at are drawing vehicles.
Obviously, bakeries need to hire 4-year-olds to handle their car, truck, bus, and tractor orders.
I love how on the firetruck cake you can still see the watermark on the picture. No need to buy that image, you can barely make out the watermark.
And I think that the John Deere cake might actually be a... wait for it... cupcake cake (CCC) Patooie!
One of the problems that created the Tractor Mess is that it's a CCC. *patewee!*
Say what you will, but these decorators were driven…
Gotta love the deer on the tractor -- legs going in both directions...gives new meaning to "Nothing Runs Like A Deere"....
Another fun day; thanks!
@ anon. 9:35: LOL
wv – abloc: when it came to creating vehicles, these folks all had abloc….
Does that green icing on the "tractor" CCC remind anyone else of Play-Doh? Something about the color and texture immediately brought that distinct (and not appetizing) smell to mind.
Ok, the tractor looks far more like a gun and the "fun sized" school bus (so sad but funny). I don't really bake cakes I could better than some of those.
Is it just me, or does the tractor cake look like the state of Texas?
WV: preesen. Whoever made these cakes should be sent to preesen.
Thanks for all those "here"'s! I love looking at old wrecks! After looking at those, these new wrecks don't surprise me one bit.
Hey, did you guys happen to see the cake on Hell's Kitchen last night? The red team was supposed to make a cake with a Hawaiian theme...FAIL! Of course I thought of Cake Wrecks!
To be fair to the poor cupcake arranger, the tractor looks to me like a combine harvester (with a lot of imagination!).
WV: wanin There's no room in the school bus, but I wanin!
John (Hubby of Ania, not Jen)
All of them: sad but no longer surprising.
Loo-E: the HK cake was hysterical! I too immediately thought of Cake Wrecks.
I didn't realize that school budgets were so bad that they were making the students who ride the fun-sized buses to school ride bright yellow dolly carts. That school district really has their priorities mixed up. Yikes!
My theory is that when one begins to assemble a CCC (or decorate a giant cookie or bake a cake in a heart pan anytime other than Feb. 14), it acts as a channel for intergalactic waves of badness that overcome any quiescent artistic ability and render the unfortunate person standing over it unable to produce anything recognizable.
"Fun sized bus." Fair takes me back to junior high and high school, that does. Recalling the jokes, I mean.
Most people in my class took a vow (etched in titanium, because that was the gold standard of seriousness then) to never ride a 'fun-sized' bus if it meant walking to Hawaii. Ok, there was an irony epidemic during those years, but you get the idea.
I say, that school bus cake is a MUCH better tractor than the green one! The word verification is a good one this time: Denasc: Don't ask. "Denasc what that green cake is supposed to be."
I had a feeling the John Deere one was going to be bad, but I wasn't expecting it to be quite that distorted. O_o
While I enjoyed today's wrecks, I "really" had fun with the her, here, here, here, here, here, and here, oh and here....
Jen, you nver fail to crack. me. up!
Hey! Knight Rider! I want to see some more Knight rider cake wrecks..or even a Sunday Sweets of Knight Rider! Why you say.. My mentaly deranged 13 yr old daughter is obsessed w Knight rider.... That being said I so enjoy postings! It just makes my day! Lori
Punch buggy yellow - no punch backs!
Not Short, Fun sized is what my husband says about me. LOL
You know how on that Charlie the Unicorn video on YouTube those two unicorns' legs at one point go all "bendy"? That's what the attempt at the John Deer logo on that tractor reminded me of. :P
-Ashleigh
You should make this more of a guessing game for us by posting the cake and THEN the image it was SUPPOSED to look like. Maybe even post the cakes in one post and the "correct" images in the next.
I doubt ANY of us would have gotten the Nightrider cake.
nice quoting Vic Mignogna on the fun size line!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOFllOxN0cU&feature=view_all&list=PLFA6B4DB96F48696D&index=18
I think the deer on the tractor cake looks more like a frog (with a few misplaced limbs due perhaps to heavy pesticide ingestion) that's been run over by a tractor...
Does anyone else find it funny that the Knight Rider cake is for Michael?
"Michael, this cake is not an accurate representation of my laser sensor. I believe it more closely resembles a belt with a huge buckle."
The deer on the "tractor" cake appears to have been hit by said tractor. Actually, the cake appears to have been hit by a tractor as well.
I'm getting missing pix again, with both IE8 & Chrome: 2nd and 3rd images are not showing....
I was thinking back to the stone age (my childhood) when no self-respecting kid would ever want a school bus cake. It would have been a mean joke: we'd be thinking "Great, a cake!" But that would be mixed in with the nausea from the reminder that school was starting back soon.
Does anyone else think the school bus is kind of adorable?
I read the whole thing like the Genie in Aladin after the "here, here, here, here" bit. :D Robin Williams in your head makes everything funner.
-Barbara Anne
@ Craig
at first I thought your funniest line was: "quiescent artistic ability" bwahahahahahahaha
then I got to the irony laden; "Ok, there was an irony epidemic during those years" Yeah, cause you're never ironic these days. ;)
For the Michael cake I'm in agreement with Ashley- bacon & a drop of butter.
-Barbara Anne
Hey, I'm a city kid and even *I* know what a tractor's supposed to look like!
There's a special form of torture for those who wreck KITT. (I loved the original Knight Rider... because of the car, and its sense of humour).
As for fun-sized: they're using smart fortwos now for school buses?!
Cars and trucks are hard to draw, aren't they.
The "deer" on the tractor immediately made me think of the failed genetic experiments in Alien: Resurrection.
Thank you, first commenter...
*laughing and crying*
At first glance I thought the wheels on the fun-sized bus were Oreos. Then I realized they were just blobs of black icing (ick). If I ever make a vehicle cake (as a mother of 3 girls, that is highly unlikely) I am going to use Oreos for the wheels. Tasty, and perfectly round.
I would have never guessed the kit car. The tractor is abstract art and the school bus is too funny!!
Nice infusion, @isolder74.
So much for the indirect statement a few days back -- posted anonymously, of course -- that 'critics' can't do better.
@Ashley, bacon with butter on it just proves that combining things that cannot be improved upon is like crossing the streams: just...don't.
Oooh I would be so angry at that Knight Rider cake. I would not pay for a giant yellow orb pretending to be KITT lol. They should have just admitted they didn't know how to do a car justice or something sheesh. And love that cute tiny little school bus that only fits one person lol.