Wrecky Replay: Halloween Heckling
October 19, 2011 This season is almost too easy for snarks like me. C'mon, right now this is what passes for cake decorating:
;)
And they say cake art is dead. Pfft.
Bakeries, of course, love it. Every conceivable mistake, no matter HOW bad, can now be made into a Halloween design.
;)
Voila! A ghost!
Did your icing bag explode in big globby piles on a cake board? We can work with that.
Just be sure to label it, so folks know what it is. See, now that it SAYS "Evil Witch Hat" you can totally see it, right? Er. Right?
What's that? Your bats don't look like bats? S'ok. We have a giant piece of plastic for that:
;)
;)
And hey, do you have any leftover stock we can make into Halloween designs? You know, like maybe some smiley faces? Oh, good! See, just add some fangs...a little broken English...and...
;)
Ta daa! Now it's a vampire!
I know it's a stretch, Darshani, Bettina G., Shayne H., Kylie K., Lauren, & Rachel J., but don't worry; it's Halloween. People will totally buy it.
Reader Comments (44)
Recycle. Reuse. Recoil.
I vant to condemn ur bakery department.
The "evil witch's hat"...oh my. I saw something belonging to a witch, but "hat" wasn't it! Give you a hint: cold as a witch's **** (why are they red?)
Hmm. Maybe I do some freelance cake decorating around Halloween.
So...you're saying witches aren't evil, their hats are? No wonder all wicked witches have hats on! The hats control the evil energy! I never knew that before! How existential of you, Random Bakery Person--I never knew I got philosophy with my buttercream....
The Addams Family tune keeps running through my head like this:
They're blobby and they're bloopy
Mysteriously poopy
Leftover from last Tuesday
It's Cakewrecks Halloween
(Da da da dum *snap*snap*)
My first thought upon seeing the first cake was that it was supposed to be Scrat from the Ice Age movies. 'Course the wreckrator isn't finished yet, Scrat still needs his teeth.
I'd say cake art is UNdead.
You gotta love the fact that they used "text speak" in that last cake for the word 'your.' *Sigh*
OH THE HUMANITY D: But seriously, I could do better than that, and i'm not even trained.
Does anyone else feel like the icing in the first cake is trying to escape? I'm envisioning a horror movie here.
Come on... "I vant to suck your blood." How is that a mistake? That's how the vampires on TV say it, and they've been saying it that way since the 50s.
[Editor's note- That's not a mistake. The fangs on the smiley face? Perhaps. Who knows? -john (the very sleepy in Atlanta)]
ZooMom... Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! Bravo!
i thought at first that the "eye" on thw first cake was the space personality core from Portal 2! I was wondering why he was buried in a mudslide. And then I saw a beard somewhere in the icing.
The "evil" "witch" "hat" also bears a "Cupcake Critter" sign. It doesn't surprise me that a bakery's definition of "critter" includes "mythical inanimate objects."
I'd like to believe the "ghost" cake was a re-shuffle of another cake, but sadly, I bet they really were going for ghost on that one. Well, they can put a red hat on it and sell it as a Santa Cake next month.
That first looks like a product of a Lovecraftian nightmare. The second, the ghost of a Shih Tzu in need of a trim.
I totally waved at the computer screen to shoo away a fly and then realized it was something actually IN the icing on that first one. *hurk*
Very funny, zoomom!
zoomom.... Admit it. you've been saving that one for months. Right? (wow!)
Is anyone else wondering at how they took the photo of the last one? I mean, she/he is holding it with BOTH hands! Helmet cam? Three arms?
No, the design isn't an evil witch hat, they snipped the tip off an evil witch hat and used it to pipe the frosting. They're just letting people know why it turned out so weird.
#1 Somebody was paid to produce that. Really. Well, that ought to give some hope to all the educated job hunters out there.
#2 See #1. Also, I first thought those were prunes on the front. Thankfully, I was mistaken.
#3 See #1. 'Evil witch hat'? One out of three ain't bad.
#4 & 5 See #1. I'm really not digging the 'wet look' on the frosting.
#6 See #1. This looks like a slam at a very large competitor. I had to look closely to not see 'sook' in place of 'suck', not that 'suck' wouldn't come immediately to mind in any case. Famous threats sound much less foreboding when they're texted.
All-Seeing Poo!!
Thosse are bat cupcakes? I was going with mustaches.
That one just came to me, mouse. (I really do have a constant soundtrack running in my head.)
This is the one I've been working on for months:
(to the tune of "Thriller")
It’s close to midnight
Something’s creeping on the bakery floor
There’s icing in sight
With plastic flotsam and sprinkles galore
You try to leave
But carrot jockeys block your only exit
You start to heave
As poo swirls and balloon sperm block the sun
Who ordered this cake bum?
Cause this is Cakewrecks
Cakewrecks, right
And no one’s gonna save you from the “epcot” that’s in sight…
Still not sure what that first one is, but goshdarnit, it's WATCHING me!!! Make it stop! Make it stop!! Please?
Just. Sad.
Zoomom, you just made my day.
And I definitely can understand seeing mustaches in those so-called "bat" cupcakes..
WALMART VAMPIRE!!!
Can we have a guest post from zoomom? Now I have Thriller stuck in my head...
Ok, I'll preface this by saying I'm a nurse, and have seen things that most lucky people don't every see, but number 3? Definitely a cut away view of the large intestine with poo inside. Sort of like you'd see with a colostomy. Not what I want to see on cake. I will now go wash offmy eye balls.
The first cake immediately called to mind the ballistics gel Zombie Dog from the Turkey Drop myth on Mythbusters. (http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/mythbusters-zombie-dog.html)
At first glance, I thought the "evil witch hat" (s?) said EVIL WITH HAT. Hmm. Evil, with hat. So, this is the face of evil? Or, the bird's-eye-view of evil? With hat? Hats? Evils, with hats? Aren't there two of them? I think I need to lie down...
I love the cakes. Hahahaha...Trick or treat
zoomom for the WIN. really.
My "hats" need a bra? I think that word does not mean what you think it means. Or that was a badly translated school lesson.
the Barbie dress ghost looks a lot like that tissue paper wedding cake recently---left alone, forlorn and unwanted it mutated into an evil eyed Lhasa Apso.
hope you're having a safe journey!! don't get sick, don't take candy from strangers and for cryin' out loud- MAKE IT BACK TO ORLANDO SAFELY FOR OUR PARTY!!
Off topic: I just finished reading the new book. can't wipe this stupid grin off my face. laughed out loud so much the dog left the room. WIN (And, John, there's always room for Space.)
haven't some of these already appeared on the site before? still, its lovely to be able to giggle in the morning.
Evil witches hat, or two large intestines rolled in coils? Hmmm (so not to be confused with mmm).
See ya in less than 24 hours in Charlottish Concord!
That vampire has the largest overbite I've ever seen. I feel so sorry for it.
Yay Halloween wrecks my favorites of all. Then again with most of these isn't everyday in wreckerator land halloween?
What I want to know is how the last guy took the picture - now that's spooky!!!
Zoomom, I love you now :D The Thriller homage was awesome (as was the Addams Family)
Um. I might have read the last one as "I want to suck your "W"ood." Awkward much??
Is it sad that every time I look at that first picture, I keep thinking it's a Dalek (out of its armor, of course)? LOL
awww...boanderey! I was fine using no imagination at all and just seeing blobs of frosting for #3 until you spoke up. Now I'm seeing a very well-done double lumen ileostomy. At least I can see the wreckerator as skilled now...
I have to say the scariest thing about the smiley face cake is: who the heck is taking the picture? I see two arms in the picture so where's the camera?