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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Oct182011

Ghost Busted

This is it! We're close to proving bakery hauntings, I can feel it!

Scoff all you like, but I was present at an undersea, unexplained mass sponge migration.

Not to mention they were wearing PANTS.

 

Look! Actual ectoplasmic residue! This is great!

"He slimed me."

Oh buck up, Frosty, you'll be fine.

 

Talk about telekinetic activity - look at this mess!

It's like the Salem mass Silly String turbulence of 1947. DEFINITELY supernatural origin.

 

You know, I collect spores, mold, and fungus...

...but that is just NASTY.

 

Listen! You smell something?

"There is no 'wee wee,' only stool."

 

Hm. You'd better get a sample.

 

What, you question my methods?

Back off, man; I'm a SCIENTIST.

That's better.

Oh, and whatever you do, don't cross the streams. That would be bad.

 

I can see you're still not convinced on this bakery ghost thing.

 

Then answer me this: would any human being stack cakes this way?

I rest my case.

 

Thanks to Anna S., Matthew Z., Alyssa P., Dylan W., Lindsey D., Cynthia C., & Anna A., who are pretty sure that sample cup means "you're in trouble."

« Wrecky Replay: Halloween Heckling | Main | At Least It Wasn't A Flash Drive »

Reader Comments (86)

Walk it off Frosty, walk it off!!

It took me a few seconds to realize those are balloons on that 4th cake from the bottom. Nasty indeed!!

And is it me or are those "Spoongebob's" noses' look like something else...hmm...

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPenny

Hahaha, that's hilarious. I'm very confused on what they were thinking when they made that 5 tier cake...

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSavvy

Brilliant post. Thanks for being our Gatekeeper.

What was that 4th (oops, 4st) cake supposed to be? A salute to intestinal polyps?

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Only one week until Hartford CT! My official countdown has begun.
I will spend the week pondering Blobhenge. Why was it constructed? Was it an ancient religious site? Why are the blobs splattered with splotches? Who would eat that??
My research should make the week fly by.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Princess Tiana gained a little weight. The colorful squiggles fool the eye.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

SOMEONE recently watched a classic for all ages again recently! Or do you carry all of those "Ghostbusters" quotes around in your head? That would explain a lot...

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

I've been looking at strange cakes on this website for a while now, but cake #4 is truly the strangest thing I have ever seen: it's so professional looking, so competent, and yet---and just how did they get that mottled texture on the wrong-colored tadpoles? What flavor is it in there? EEEEEEK!!!!!

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWroena

The "sample" cake has rendered me speechless.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

You rock.

"There is no wee wee, only stool."

Yeah, you rock.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Ooh! Ooh! Cake #4 could be for Nearly Headless Nick's Deathday Party!!

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWroena

Why would anyone drizzle balsamic vinegar on frosting "balloons?"

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

What never ceases to amaze me is that there is no shortage of truly revolting cakes out there. How many years have you been posting Jen? Numerous cakes every day for a number of years and you can still make me gag (What on earth is the deal with that balloon cake??). Urine in a cup? Really? When will we learn people???????? BUY THE BALLOONS SEPARATELY!! They don't go ON the cake!!

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNewb

Because I watched this movie for like the 80th time last night because I love it so much, this post made me extremely happy ^_^

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterK

Fungus - looks like rotten, melted Robins' Egg malt balls. Yup, balls oozing... I don't think I want to go there. Ewwwww.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

"You seem to regard cake decoration as some kind of dodge… or hustle."

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermojo jojo

Wow, a tribute to my 2nd most often quoted movie (right behind The Princess Bride, of course!). And both movies represented in the same week - these cakes are headed for a disaster of Biblical proportions...dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWuv

You posted my cake! That makes me so insanely happy :)

Oh, and is the nasty cake supposed to be some kind of reptile eggs hatching? And if so, why?!

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia

That's lemon filling in the urine cupcake, right? Please tell me that's lemon filling...

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChuck Baudelaire

The concept is disgusting, but I think the Urine Sample Cupcake is pretty cleverly rendered. And "don't cross the streams" /snerk.

I don't get the rest though. Especially that one with the mystery splatters. At first I thought they were robins eggs or something. Then I took a closer look and regretted it. Gross.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterInaya

I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing... And so are these wreckerators. And cake #5? Dear God, what *is* that *thing*?

I know it's the wrong movie. I'm making a mash-up, here. Much like the baker of cake #7.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Best. Post. Ever.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLizzz

Poop, pee, strange things in a circle pooping, phallic sponge noses, slime, princesses poised to kiss a frog -- today's post has it all! A new high in posts!! I'd love to comment, but today I have to answer to a higher calling -- I'm headed out the door to pick up my copy of "Wreck the Halls"!! Yea!!!!!!!!!!

PS -- if you closely at that last cake, at the black/dark blue layer, it looks like an eye on either side of the thing in the middle that looks like stitches...cake could be an early attempt at Frankenstein's Monster...or the eye-full tower.....

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Urine trouble XD XD the punnage is awesome. The balloon ckae might have been decent except for those odd spots. The spore cake= D:

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMINDY1

Those are balloons? I thought with the grey cake and the speckles they were some sort of bird's eggs! You know, for an ornithologist! Of course, I couldn't explain the corkscrews coming out of them.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

My favorite movie of all time, and easily my favorite Wrecky post. Thanks for the big grin this morning! :D :D :D

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterleorising

Epic post is epic.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatsu~♥

Cake #4, so much to say, not nearly enough adjectives.
Aside from the obvious, "What the heck??!!", they managed to get their tadpole/leaky alien pod/sperm thingy colors all out of order. For most of the cake it's blue, gray, yellow, green, red. Somewhere along the way the aliens must have taken up residence in their brains and gotten the color scheme out of sequence.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCeeCee

No Penny, it's not just you....lol

Dr Ray Stantz: I think we'd better split up.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Good idea.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah... we can do more damage that way.

Probably the motto for many wreckerators, they do plenty of damage!

Guessing the spore cake might be part of some Sumarian ritual...looks like carefully placed stones in a circle.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

I'm just completely puzzled as to why someone would make (or request) urine-sample cupcakes!

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney

I find myself wondering: "why is the stool holding a french flag?"

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

No, no human would Ever stack cakes that way. The "Nasty" one had me believing but that last one was proof positive, bakery hauntings are real!

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren.Valinda

Ok, Jen. You are so stinking fabulous. First it was Friday with The Princess Bride, then Sunday (which was the single best Sunday Sweets EVER), and now today. Just for the record, my sisters and I have decided that you are obviously our long lost sister. We clearly share DNA.

Thanks for making me smile. Yet again. I needed that. :)

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDucky

Wreckerator 1: I think we'd better split up
Wreckerator 2: Good idea
Wreckerator 3: Yeah... we can do more damage that way

BTW there's a GB III in the works that is supposed to come out next year... not sure how I feel about that yet.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterklou

"When the light is green, the cake is clean."

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlabgoddess

I thought those ... eggs ... were an Anniversary of the release of Alien (I) tribute. You know, this cake was on their plates when the 'womb' crewmember started clutching his stomach as well as what was going on inside him. Gah, shouldn't have said that, going away clutching stomach.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterR.W

Jen, you're on NPR! http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2011/10/18/141455826/wreck-the-halls-explore-the-terrifying-hilarious-world-of-holiday-baking

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna B

those sponges look like little perverts.

is rainbow silly string the new swamp? and with a golden frog? this sounds like a whole other fairy tale!

those brown spattered egg-like blobs have TAILS! I think it's the attack of the giant rainbow flesh eating sperm! all that cake needs is some sort of victim in the middle that is surrounded by said parasites.

what is that googly eyed poo mountain with teeth doing holding a French flag??? is this a dis to the French or an obscure holiday reference?

at first i thought the cup of pee was a raw egg white in a styrofoam cup (food poisoning alert!)

then i read the cap. that is just digusting. who is that for? someone getting routine drug tests? a nurse? WTF?

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous

hilarious post! apropos quoting and cake captions.

"don't cross the streams" ROFL

and right after a Urine cake too. makes me wonder if the Busters were peeing en masse...

meanwhile, my local theater is bringing Ghostbuster next week? what's that about?? I think I may have to introduce that classic to my kids, and see it on a big screen for the first time myself!!

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Hey Jen and John, when you're in Atlanta, look up Sublime Doughnuts. You won't be disappointed!

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Stop staring at me, Jeanine- you got the bug eyes.

Sorry about the bug eyes thing. I'll be in my office.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaylie

"Listen. You smell something?" Jen, you crack me up!! Seriously disturbing cakes today. I think I'm convinced about the bakery hauntings. And when, oh when will I learn not to eat while I read this blog? I seriously almost spit out my lunch when I saw the "urine" cake. *gag*

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

#2 It looks like relish, but it's not. [Sorry, Jen. Couldn't resist.]

#4 The first one to get inside the cake ensures the survival of its one-of-a-kind genetic sequence.

#5 [Mentally reviewing geopolitical jokes...] Nope, too easy. Besides, who wants another international EPCOT?

#6 "I'd like this on a cupcake, please. I'll be back in a few to pick it up." [Moments later, realizes and runs back to bakery counter, running over any unfortunates who get in the way] "Noooo! I meant to hand you *this* one!"

#7 Wow, I didn't realize it was Sunday already. Time flies in the Twilight Zone.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Tim Burton, Princess Bride and Ghostbusters! I don't know if I can take much more of this!

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Taking the kids to see Ghostbusters Thursday! In the theater! Can't wait!

Is that too many exclamation points? : )

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

you... you deserve this (crunch bar)

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjess

I've been forging a ton of you know, stuff in this fun building universe I found

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStaphy

I suspect that this post (and probably the Internet in general) will make more sense if and when I finally get around to watching Ghost Busters. I've been busy, okay? Don't judge me!

Cake #4 (how strange that #4 comes before #2 and #1) looks like a birthday cake for Cthulhu. Silly mortals; you know he's just going to eat the guests anyway.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Aidez-moi! Je suis enfermé dans les excréments.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy'sMom

I love a good ghostbusters theme. Even if it does include a sponge and a sample.

Odd though, no one else mentioned the word "edible" on the 'lily pad' under the frog? (someone crossed ALL the streams on that cake, in your defense... must have been difficult to distinguish)

Thanks for the laughs -- I need more and more of these every day. Especially when I realize wreckerators keep having contests to get on your blog.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDi

Yes, it's true.
This man has no cake.

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

Some of those cakes look like Stanz' comment, "Ugh, I feel like the floor of a taxi cab"...

"Ghostbusters" for the win!

October 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

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