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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Sep232009

Pioneering Pastries

Today on the continuing "Virtual" Tour we get to visit Ree Drummond, aka the Pioneer Woman. Yes, THE Pioneer Woman. For those few of you who haven't yet been introduced to this 2008 Blog of the Year winner, Ree is a self-described desperate housewife who went from "spoiled city girl to domestic ranch wife in the blink of an eye." Her site is spectacular, with plenty of humor, gorgeous photography, recipes, and more. I highly recommend a visit.

Now, since Ree is married to a real live cowboy, and does in fact live on a cattle ranch, I tried to find some Wrecks to make her and her readers feel right at home here.

[dusting off hands] There! That should do it.

What, a dead cow is too creepy? Nooo problem.

See, the eyes are open, so that's how you can tell it's alive. Much less creepy.

NOTE: I'm about to post some horse cakes. So first, let's pause and say a quick prayer that no equine-related tragedies are occurring - or have recently occurred - anywhere in the world.

All set? Goodie.

Hey, Phil, why the long lip? (Bwahahahah!!)


There, there, Poncy, I'm sure those spots will clear up in no time. What's that? Why, yes, you do look a little flushed. But I'm sure it's nothing, really.

Dude, you are soo not a horse. [backing away] Oh, but hey, don't mind me. You can hang here with the horsies just as long as you like, uh, sir. Please don't gore me.

Well, my dear Wreckies, we have reached the end of today's post...

...but(t) I do hope you got a kick out of it.

Be sure to check out Ree's post on my virtual visit here, and watch for her gorgeous new book, The Pioneer Woman Cooks, to hit shelves later this month.

Thanks to Wreckporters Regina B., K.P., Amanda L., Luci, Livia B., & Kara H.!

- Related Wreckage: FHOTD, This One's For You

« About Last Night... | Main | "Serious" Eats »

Reader Comments (89)

"Ahh! Demon llama! Demon llama!"

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

Hahahahahaha!!! The other people in the "Quiet Study Room" just looked over at me...I can't imagine why =)

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer R.

The first cow cake would be cute... If it wasn't a dead cow cake.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChelsea

That pink one looks like a My Little Pony with, er...tetanus or something. She's a little on the stiff side.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

where can i order a cake of a horse's rear end? i know just who to send it to...

but the cows... please..

i also know of no horse who'd be led around by a nose ring... bizarre

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermn_me

Funny...scared my two year old when he ran up to the computer. Then he called the horse, a dog!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShannon Rodriguez

Perfect. All we need is to add naked baby carrot jockeys and we're off to the races! Love it!

http://www.simplysweeter.blogspot.com

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSimplySweeter

If you have not read it yet, read the story about her courtship on Pioneer Woman's blog. It's sooooo good!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJustina Clayburn

I LOOOOOOOVE Ree's website! I've been following it for awhile now and was happy to see you mention it. I want her to be my BFF, ha ha!
But those wrecks...ugh. Why does the horse have a nose ring??

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJane

My jaw literally dropped when I saw the horse's patootie! (I want to say a different word, but this is a family, site, remember?) Who would order such a cake, much less eat it?

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVickie

I know I'm being very picky, but did anyone else notice that the hooves of the horse-butt cake are backwards? Roundy part goes in the front, not the back.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKait

"Please don't gore me."

Great horse quote, dude.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

What?.... No nod to "The Godfather" in pastry? You sure are losing your head, Jen.

Get it? Losing your head?

{nevermind}

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

The second one is pretty well done, nearly artistic. The IDEA is bad, especially on a ccc, but the execution (sorry) is rather effective.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZhoen

That horse haunts my dreams!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

What I want to know is WTHeck is that blue thing on the dead cow body? A bow?

And horses do not generally have rings through theie nostrils - bulls do. How strange. I had not noticed the hooves on backwards for the horse butt cake. I think I was too freaked out by the time I saw that one.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatiedid1806

I think the first one is kind of well done, but, really, WHY would anyone ever need to order a cake of a dead cow? Seriously, people!!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Visiting from PW. LOVE YOUR BLOG!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjmberrygirl

The first cake made me remember the joke I used to tell everyone when I was 5:

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

Still funny after all these years.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica H

Who in their right mind would order a cake with a horses ass sticking out?!

Bizzare.

Though the pink horse with the yellow dots is more up my street..

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMick

The first one is cute except for the whole dead horse thing. Why ruin a perfectly cute cake with xs for eyes?

I'm enjoying the virtual tour. Love the sites you're linking to.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCookie

I think the ground beef cake is kinda cute, but the blue bow on its shoulders baffles me.

That CCC is skillfully done, but uhm...is that Holstein face all icing?

The nose ring cake...it appears someone failed basic barnyard animal identification. Those look like horns (little bitty horns) on it, but that is definitely a horse's face.

Or was it the customer's fault? Someone's husband or son gets sent to the bakery to order the cake. He picks out the horse face. Mom checks up on the order before picking it up and says, "A horse? We ordered a Texas Longhorn!" Quick makeover.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

okay, the CCC cow is v. damn creepy. those glassy eyes ... {{{shivering}}}.

am likin' the pink pony, however. don't care for her spottiness, but the cute swirly tail is adorable. you almost can't go wrong with pink.

as an aside, my daughter (another fan of yours) saw your book in barnes and noble this weekend and nearly caused a scene because she was so excited.

will be purchasing my own copy soon and hope to make your austin visit.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerry Lee

I'm so hungry, I could eat the ass end of a horse!

....... Wow, look. The ass end of a horse.

....Riiiight.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkarmapearl

That second one is startlingly realistic.

wv: foryo

I'm going to get one of those horse's behind cakes foryo birthday.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm laughing because my 8 y/o daughter took a look and said, "Those cakes are animal cruelty."! She makes a good point!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Cake Wrecks and The Pioneer Woman Cooks are the two websites I visit every day. I(f my cable happens to be down, I do not miss my email, I do not miss facebook, I miss these two websites.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I don't think the horse shoes are on backwards on the last one, I think the hooves have been severed.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStudyaid

Shades of Godfather are going through my head!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly H

Perfect way to end that post!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerraD

I will probably be in the minority here, but I'm not a big fan of this tour of other websites thing. I feel like some of the humor is coming out a little forced or somethign.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Not sure if I should laugh or cry about those cow cakes... *off to ponder*

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Pore Poncy! I'm almost positive those spots will go away (ehem) in the futur.LOL! :)

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterurbangirl

I think I just peed my pants a little, this post is so funny!

The long-lipped, scooby-doo horse is my favorite! And the CCC is frightening!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBellaLovesPink

My husband does necropsy (animal autopsy) in his line of work. The cow head looks like it's ready for necropsy. Ugh.

~Amy B.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

My 2 favorite blogs have merged! Oh happy day! :)

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersummur braley

Actually, for a CCC, that first cow is darn good. It LOOKS like a cow head.

Where was the llama?

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

Now, the last one is some piece of ass.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan from Food Blogga

A pink polka dotted pony? Why?

wv:conpar
I hate trying to conpar all these wrecks, since they are equally wreckie!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercottoncolors

I'll admit, I love the realistic looking cow cake. Yes, it's a CCC. I don't care, it made me smile and not in the usual "holy crap, what were they thinking?" kinda way that I smile here. Maybe it's because I grew up with a field of cows behind the house and I'm used to seeing them staring at me when I open my curtains. Whatever. If I saw that cake I'd buy it with barely an ironic thought.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrhonda

Trevor,

Go with it man. Jen is doing the virtual book tour, writing regular post for when we are on the actual tour, writing additional posts for each event, doing 4 interviews a day and, on Friday, we're getting on an 8 hour flight to Portland for our first national stop. And did I mention Jen hates flying?

If it helps, the VBT is over on Friday and the posts will go back to normal. I guess what I'm saying is that Jen would be most grateful for some slack cutting.

And thanks for putting your name. We actually appreciate the occasional critical comment.

john

p.s. I don't mean to sound harsh. Just trying to keep my girl sane.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

Oh but there HAVE been equine-related tragedies--four of them in fact, all immortalized right on your blog today!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Yeah Pioneer Woman! Totally love her website. Thanks for mentioning her!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBritnieAnn

Whoooaaa Nelly! That devil horse is scaring me! But I like the horses patoot, it's funny!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Leggett

@KatieDid1806

I think that blue thing on the first cow is a supposed to a blue ribbon. Like at a county fair.

WV: urpers: *urp* These cakes have given me the urpers. Anybody have some Pepto?

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGo East, Young Man

"NOTE: I'm about to post some horse cakes. So first, let's pause and say a quick prayer that no equine-related tragedies are occurring - or have recently occurred - anywhere in the world."

Bwahahahahaha!!!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

Uhhhhh Jen, I think those horse wrecks are tragedies in and of themselves.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I think the cow CCC (ptooie!) is the best CCC I've ever seen.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlyla conrad

The first cake is so cute I would actually want that! The second CCC though... it's... way to real and creepy that is for sure. The third one... it almost reminds me of a spider. Aside from the first one they all deserve this face Щ(°Д°Щ )!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterリン姫

So glad PW's blog is part of the virtual tour!

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkathryn

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