Such Deers
March 23, 2009 It's becoming as "classic" (ie cliche) as the red-velvet armadillo cake, and yet guys still want dead Bambi for their groom's cake. Go fig.
Yeah, yeah, guys, I get it: you want your cake to show some personality, reflect your interests, and ideally gross-out the in-laws. But really, a giant dead animal on your wedding day? Really? This must be another time when my plumbing prevents me from grasping the intricacies of the male mind.
At least this one's still showing some signs of life:
Well, as much as the baker, anyway. (Ah, candid photos, how we loathe thee.)
Oh no, but look! He's sinking into the Swamps of Sadness! Fight against the sadness, Artax! Don't let it get to you! Just because you're about to be carved up and served on camouflage-print paper plates is no reason to get all down in the dumps! Artaaaaax!!
[sniffle] Sorry. I hate that part of the movie.
Ok, where were we? Oh, right, at the economy section:
Sure, it doesn't feed many people, but then no one will want to eat it anyway. See? A win-win. Plus, mad props to the garnisher; those green spriggy bits are really classing the joint up.
Of course if we've learned anything here on CW, it's that a green & purple party hat can make everything allll better:
(By the fabulous Tara of Tara's Cakes, who has an equally fabulous sense of humor.)I know we shouldn't look a gift deer in the mouth, but those buck teeth* are cracking me up. I can almost hear him saying, "Gawrsh! Why don't you carve yourself a slice? Ahuck!"
Still, I'll take goofy over spooky any day. And I'm not sure there's a chipper enough party hat in all the world to uncreepify this guy:
Sure, he's smiling, but that smile never quite reaches his eyes, you know? And he won't stop staring, like he knows something I don't.
Hey, you lookin' at me, punk? Yeah? Well quit your smirking, or I'll break your antlers off!
Oh, I'm sorry; I see someone already did. Huh. That had to hurt. Well, never mind.
Lauren S., Laura M., Erin C., Kaylee K., & Anony M. you sure know how to rack 'em.
*Get it? "Buck" teeth? Hah, that was the crowning touch, wasn't it?
Related Wreckage: You Say 'Redneck' Like it's a Bad Thing
Reader Comments (108)
The eyes! The eyes!!!!
Awww Artax! That part always makes me cry too :(
"Oh deer..." That was brilliant. That last one though is going to seriously haunt my dreams, I want to unsee it, Jen..
Huge props to you for the Neverending Story quotage. :-D That part was way worse in the book because Artax could talk (?!) and was basically begging Atreyu to turn away so he wouldn't see his final moments. *weeps*
As for the deer cakes I'm mildly alarmed because I almost think my husband would like some of these. He sent me a picture of the camo he/shemale deer cake from this very blog not realizing I read it every day and said, "Here's an idea for a cake for you to do sometime." Thank god I'm not skilfull enough to sculpt cakes so I probably won't have to worry about him suggesting one of these.
A cake. With a dead deer. And lights?!?!? And extra random antlers off to the side like we've finally found the buck graveyard of lore. Lights?!?!? Why are there lights?
wv: restica. Where are the restica deer? Already eaten by the groomsmen?
#2 (aka Artax) is actually pretty well done, I like the cartoonish shaping of his head, but his antlers are way too realistic... I hope they aren't actually real. No one in their right mind would put real antlers on a cake, right?
Party hat deer = guffaw
Shhhh....that last deer...(hiding behind closet door)...he's watching us!
~Amy B.
Looks like some reindeer games going on here!
http://gifoftheday.blogspot.com/" REL="nofollow">Daily Gif Blog
DB
Dear God. . . all I can say is, "I'm sorry" for what's happened to the woodland creatures.
Everything can be improved by a party hat!
Try putting one on some of those pregnant bellies instead.
I can't believe that scene is linked on youtube. I refused to watch it.
creepy and sad. no way could i eat deer cake...even if it was a creepy, airbrushed-eyes cake. too sad. too...uck. just uck.
Brilliant Cake Wrecks post Jen! It made me laugh out loud and cry (Artaaaaax!) and laugh out loud in rapid succession.
Why is that last deer so... blurry? Is it just me? It looks like one of those blurred pictures to protect the innocent.
I love it! Well, it made me cry too but I love that you quoted Never Ending Story :) yeah, made my day.
-Kat
Seriously...seriously disturbing.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
Maybe that first one is a bride's cake, because that's a mighty girly arrow sticking out.
Antlers by themselves are sheds. Deer lose their antlers every year, and all hunters get excited to find the sheds, especially of a big buck.
Topical! Surely someone will have one made & sent to Matt Lauer today.
http://www.newsday.com/iphone/ny-libike0324,0,7760448.story
I wish they could have somehow incorporated those singing deer head wall ornament things.
Since I'm marrying a vegan, does that mean I can expect a sad, dead looking carrot cake?
I am a hunter and female and still don't get these cakes! Also did anyone notice the head (3rd one down) seems to have to right antlers... ? Extra 'special' ;)
Eww. Repeatedly. Ad nauseum.
Leslie: You could always make one out of cupcakes... HAR!
Giggle at alouette.
And another brilliant post, Jen! I'm writing a check to the Wildlife Foundation with my other hand as I type...
Those festive greens would go over well with my guinea pigs. Not sure if everyone wants dill/anise/fennel all over their deer cake though.
The Swamps of Sadness!
You know, sometimes I wonder if I subscribe to the blog for the bizarre cakes or for the slightly non sequitur 80s pop culture references. I wonder the same thing about watching Psych.
These are absolutely hilarious and gross at the same time. It's like those horrible deer heads on walls...always staring. They seriously creep me out, as do these cakes.
I hate that part of the movie, too...every time I think of him sinking I get so depressed. I will never get that scene out of my mind...arghh...
I thought this was kinda neat the first time I saw it on Ace of Cakes. But now? *shudder*
Ghost Deer is gonna haunt my dreams, I swear.
REDNECK!!!!!
That last one just needs black buttons for eyes to really work wonders on the subconscious.
These could be a get out of jail cakes for this poor guy who decided it would be smart to bolt and epoxy antlers onto a doe he shot...
http://www.caller.com/news/2009/mar/16/hunter-busted-bolting-antlers-dead-doe/
hysterical! Sick, but hysterical none-the-less.
You forgot the high-pitched moaning "NOOOOooooooooooo"
I hated that part in the movie too. And that turtle is just a jerk.
SWAMPS OF SADNESSS!!!! OOOHHHHHHH!!! It is to laugh! Still laughing!
What is the deal with groom cakes? Isn't one cake enough at a wedding? I'm so glad they are not popular where I live cos they seem kinda stupid.
The lights around the dead deer cake confuse and frighten me.
I *hate* that part of the movie too!! It is really traumatic to a little girl!
I was cruising through these cakes muttering about the stupidity of dead deer at a wedding--what a joyous symbol of "twue love"*--and then I got to His Toothiness. I thought it's a cross species wedding--a deer and a rabbit. It makes as much sense as dead deer groom cakes.
*I have seen one movie here.
I don't know which is worse:
the fact that I'm now having sad flashbacks about that scene in The Neverending Story, or that I can't get that creepy deer face out of my head. Ew. Scares me on so many levels. Those EYES!!
Well, the first cake is *obviously* a deer caught in the headlights, and it *is* a groom's cake...are you seeing the connection?
As for the party hat deer, I kind of love him.
Most of those deer cakes are hideous, but the huge one that showed the baker looked to be executed quite beautifully....I don't think it should count as a wreck :/
LOVE the springy floral touch of whimsy on that last one. Death meets Life. How Ironic.
I fear the desire for a deer groom's cake is much more insidious and Freudian than just grossing out the in-laws or whomever...
Men are sooo transparent and they don't even know it!
(No - you don't want to think about it too hard...chuckle - argh)
Aww, Neverending Story reference FTW!
That was the first time I ever cried at a movie.... then the luck dragon came into the movie and I thought he was a flying clod of dryer lint. That pretty much cured my sadness.
i'm fairly sure the horse actually died when they filmed that scene
wow that really gave me a warm fuzzy feeling in side. I think I'm going to watch bambi
oh the things we miss
thingswemiss.blogspot.com
That last deer isn't Bambi, it's Zombie. It'll be getting up any moment now and start eating the guests.
From laughter to sadness and back to laughter. This post is like one, long emotional rollercoaster. And Bucky the Toothy One had me going "Bahahahahha" and "WTF is wrong this picture?" at the same time.
Look at how different in style the ears are from the rest of the cake on the last one. Clearly this isn't a cakewreck, it's the perfect cake for a fan of Photoshop Disasters!