Wrecktastic Pumpkin Parade
October 24, 2008 With Halloween fast approaching, bakeries are churning out the ghoulish designs faster than you can say "baffling unibrow":
Is this a pumpkin, Jacob L., or breakfast? I'm seeing scrambled eggs and a spotty banana here. And a rat with wings. But let's just ignore him and hope he goes away.
This looks like it was made from upholstery foam and melting plastic, although Lauren D. assures me it was tasty upholstery foam and plastic. So, you know, it's got that going for it.
Shannon B. found this one. Not only is it a seriously wonky pumpkin with drippy mold issues, it's also being served on a platter of earthworms. Eeewwww. (Also, what is that thing behind it? A giant yo-yo?)
Then there's the half-pumpkin-wheel with telephone-cord-tailed mice:
Very, er, curly, Melody P. Yeah, that's it: curly.
And lastly, Leilani S. shows us how Krispy Kreme is getting into the spirit of things:
Wow, those pumpkin donuts almost look too good to be true, don't they?
Ah, right: that must be because they are:
Reader Comments (122)
So funny!!!
Picture #4....looks like those mice got the poo scared out when that giant pumpkin landed on them.
Aww I thought the Krispy Kreme pumpkins were quite cute and was all set to tell the boss I'm running to get us some donuts then you ruined my happy ending with that last pic.
Phooey.
Not your fault I know but I'm totally passively-aggressively taking it out on you that I have a donut craving now. :P
Is that second cake a twinkie cake? That sounds good right about now.
wow- nothing like some false advertising. And haven't any of those wreck creators ever SEEN an actual pumpkin in their lives before?? I mean COME ON!! Just COME ON!!(a la "jimmy" from south park)
Why does NOTHING look as good in person as it appears to in an advertisement?
Hallie :)
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/
I got the Krispy Kreme pumpkin donut at my local store and it was exactly the same as in the picture - and delicious of course - so it must have been bring-a-3-year-old-to-work-day at the store that made this one
The last cake isn't true.
I refuse to believe it.
I absolutely refuse to believe it.
You just put it there to make me squeal, it's just photoshopped, not real.
I know I'm right.
Those doughnuts are never worth it anyway!! Is that second cake made completely out of lady finger cookies sprayed orange? That's what it looks like to me!
My favorite has to be the truncated half log pumpkin cake with overcooked green vermicelli icing. It doesn't get more appetizing (or authentic!) than that.
I think cake makers feel they get a free pass to make the most horrendous creations just because it's Hallowe'en. The cakes are supposed to be scary and gross - but I think they take that brief a little *too* literally!
That pumpkin cake that looks of foam cushioning looks like it's about to collapse from all the mucky green goo on top. Icing never looked so vomit-inducing.
Fabulous! That's all I have to say.
That Krispy Kreme "pumpkin" made me laugh out loud. LOL!!! That's hysterical.
I have to go to KK to get one of those doughnuts now. Hopefully it won't look like that.
Are those twinkies on the second cake!? Spray painted orange?!
And why on earth are mice on the oddly shaped half pumpkin wheel??
And...the doughnut...is sad.
I don't think the first one is bad.
I'm confused...
why does the mouth/banana in the first photo have eyes?!
On the third photo, the strange cake in the background, my first thought when I saw it was that it was a giant clam! A giant yellow clam! :)
Man I saw the Krispy Kreme ads for the pumpkin doughnuts and i seriously wanted one. Not anymore. Thanks for saving me from that disaster.
Hey! Why can't I see the pictures?? I haven't been able to for three whole days!
[Storms off and rolls around on the floor throwing a tantrum.]
But seriously. What is that second one made out of? ladyfingers dipped in cheeto dust? Spray insulation?
Also the "avantgarde" bakery punkin with mold issues has also apparently been "pooped on" in place of a stem.
I'm going to give a pass to the donut because if Krispy Kreme is anything like Tim Hortons, their bakers are not trained in decorating or hired because of artistic skills.
I used to bake at a Tim Hortons, and I was a good baker, but when it came to donuts and cakes and cookies that had to be decorated with faces or something fancy (which happened very rarely, maybe twice a year), I was hopeless. I tried my darndest, but often it's next to impossible to make something look as good as it does in advertisements.
I am at the beginning stages of starting my own cake business and this is great. I love this sight as a how to guide for me not to mess up and end up on here but i reassure you i will send you all my messups lol. You had me laughing for hours while my husband looked at me shaking his head!
Every pumpkin does indeed have a face of it's own :) Amazing.
Actually, it almost inspires me to decorate a pumpkin cake for my family!
At first glance, that 4th pumpkin looks like it has actually landed on the mice like the house in Wizard of Oz. The little mice look trapped under the curliest pumpkin that ever grew.
It may be a while before I can eat slivered almonds again.
So funny! Why do so many of them look MOLDY???
I need to go buy one of those Krispy Kremes and eat it just to put it out of its misery.
I refuse to believe that the cakes in the third picture are actually for sale. You can't just throw icing on some cake, call it decorating, and expect people to buy it. It's called a spatula- for the love of Mike, please use it to smooth the icing out!
Why are there eyes inside the mouth on that top one? Did it eat a better looking pumpkin cake?
That first one looks a little like Jack-O went Geek Squad or something!
I love the pumpkin donuts. Very sad interpretation of what it is supposed to look like. But, I am pretty sure that's what you are going to get when you go to the store. They wont look anything like the advertisement!
It looks like a dog has expressed his dislike of the third one by leaving a little present behind. euwww
Clair
'k, I just have 2 things to say.
The first pumpkin, that thing at the top looks sort of like a silhouetted hamster in a pile of greens. Which would actually be cuter than the cake is otherwise. (Come on, work with me... ears at the top right, paws up to the left...)
Second pumpkin: Maybe black airbrush on something that's supposed to be a vegetable is not the best plan. That stuff totally looks like mold.
P.S. I am totally loving my CAPTCHA this morning. "morkpron." Morkpron! Morkpron! I don't know what it means but it sounds funny. (And the first garment I ever bought myself was a T-shirt with a picture of Mork on it... Mork pron? Er, no.)
On Pumpkin Wreck #2 my 6 year old son said, "Yuck, I wouldn't like a cake that had FISH STICKS in it".
Is cake #2 made with orange spray painted twinkies?
That second one looks like it's made from Twinkies... which is pretty much the same thing as upholstery foam. Gross.
Cake #1 is awful. It looks like a cackling escapee from the mental ward.
It took me a moment to realize that the foam cake did NOT have mold growing on the side, and #3 just looks weird.
Thanks for the first loud laugh of the day. This was a hilariously written post.
Ha ha! The actual pumpkin Krispy Kreme looks embarrassed to be so far from the advertisement. Love the phone-cord mice, if they were real animals they would probably be popular pets.
Ugh. It's like all the cake decorators are trying to terry you this year. I want one of those cakes for my Halloween party:
"I dare you to eat the earthworms."
"Ewww! Only if you eat this mouse---curly tail and all!"
"Blegh. Dare's off."
-Balgram
Ah Wrecktastic Halloween!! I can't wait to see some more! I was in an Ontario Wal-Mart the other day and was SO upset I didn't have my camerea. Not only was it Frankenstein but it was a CCC!!!!
Keep up the great reporting!!
Kara aka Bakermum
I'm baffled by the decorators who think that "mold-on-a-pumpkin" is a good look. Cake #2 (although it possesses a pleasant, scalloped shape) looks as though it's LEAKING fuzzy mold.
The doughnut makes me laugh. Somebody's grumpy!
#1 What's with the eyes...in his mouth??
#2 A moldy Twinkie cake stuffed with seafood salad(?). And don't even ask me what's going on up top.
#3 While you're looking at the earthworms and the giant lemon yo-yo thing in back (which looks tasty, actually), I'm fixating on that enormous coiled turd sitting on top.
#4 Again with the coils. Either those mice have been stepped on, or their suffering some major intestinal issues.
Probably from eating that cake.
thought you might like...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rabi/1807263878/in/photostream/
Kristy
Pumpkin #3 - Er, it looks like someone dropped trou on the top of the cake. What the...?
first!
Why does the sticker on the lid of the first pumpkin cake say "Variety Pack"? Isn't it only one cake?
You probably already know of...
http://cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com/
Kristy
None of those looked even semi edible! And who wants to have worms and mice next to their cake???
KRISPY KREMES ROCK!
I think I may get a dozen of these for my son's party next Friday. He goes to a Christian school so it's called a Hallelujah Fest. No ghostly celebrations in the presence of God!
Sherice