Marriage Maintenance
January 7, 2019 I just noticed that today is "National Weigh-In Day" *and* "Divorce Monday."
Coincidence?
Maybe, maybe not. But better keep the spousal muffin-honking to a minimum, just in case.
And while we're being extra nice to our SOs, let's also agree: No dead animal cakes.
;)
I know, it's a silly precaution, but the great thing about dead possum cakes? They always keep.
Hmm, maybe we should avoid anything with poop on it, too.
;)
Sure, you and I know this says, "I clean up your crap because I love you," but our spouses might get more of a "Hey sh*thead here's a crap cake because EAT POOP" vibe, and no one wants that.
Well, I mean, SOME people want that, but unless you're celebrating and/or instigating Divorce Day, steer clear of the poo.
If you're thinking you can go the safe route and get your better half a sexy cake, again, I advise caution.
;)
[head tilt]
No, actually, this is perfect. Proceed.
And finally, when all else fails, there's always the ol' standby:
;)
Booze and sugar, baby. BOOZE AND SUGAR.
Thanks to Hannah M., Shirena G., Melody H., & Meaghen H. for speaking our love language.
*****
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Reader Comments (3)
The sexy cake has a dong with short hairs on the baubles, that is not perfect!!!! And the black poo later will be tragic for any couple.
Just when I think you have shown me all the ways a wreckerator can wreck something you show me the dead possum cake lmao is no animal sacred?? The lambs are terrifying but that one has me laughing so hard.
Please forgive my confusion, but why is the sad butterfly cake considered “sexy?”