Hunker Down, and WRITE IT OUT

Sometimes I feel like a cake archeologist, minions. I inspect the clues, sift through the remains, and try to figure out what happened in the past.

For example....

Something terrible has happened here.

Some events are pretty straightforward:

The old "ran out of icing" story.

There's also the classic "Too lazy to change the icing tip after piping the border":

Or its variation, "Too lazy to change the icing tip after piping the roses":

Here we see evidence of significant toothpick scraping, often indicative of the "I'm Not Even Supposed To Be Here" dynasty of the Mid-Graduation era:

Ahhh. Magnificent.

You know that thing in restaurants where everyone is singing Happy Birthday to some stranger three tables over, and you all just mumble your way through the name part?

This is that, in cake form:

Sadly some mysteries will never be solved. Instead we'll be left to forever wonder... the 5th what?

I think I've cracked the code on this next one, though. Here's a recreation of the ACTUAL EVENTS, as played by hired actors in my head:

"What do you mean, 'last minute?' Of course we custom-ordered your cake, Miranda! Weeks ago! This was totally planned!"

While we'll never know for sure what happened to wrecks of the past, one thing is certain: the longer you look at this one, the funnier it gets:

Seriously.

I'm crying.

(I wonder who did the bigger spit-take: me or the baker.)

Thanks to Tex, Betsy P., Diamond, Philip L., Allison P., M.R., Lauren P., Miranda, & Kelsie L. for digging these up.

*****

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Comments

[Heather]

A lot of those inscriptions look suspiciously similar to my 3-year old's handwriting.

[Mindy1]

This is why you don't give coffee to toddlers.

[SaraCVT]

🎶Janie’s got a gun...🎶 (and I’m not sure I blame her)

[The One who remains nameless]

happy fifth of scotch?

[pat gann]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought there were guns on Jane's Cake of Poo.As well there should be!

[Dee]

I love how on the last one the border says, "Ewwwwwwwwww"

[Lynne]

Those are peach roses on cake #4?? Oh, of course. Mystery solved.

[JMixx]

Four comments? I guess it's not just at my workplace that everyone has gone on vacation. (I don't work for a school, so no one has been gone all summer, but every week we're short-staffed because *somebody* has gone on vacation. And it hasn't been my turn yet.) Come to think of it, after looking at these cakes, I think the whole bakery decorating staff has gone on summer vacation, too,

[AngelaS]

Nothing screams happy like thick black letters in the Rocky Horror Picture Show font. 😳 I bet the wreckerator couldn’t recreate that font intentionally in a million years.

[Barbara]

The last cake, if you read the bottom border from left to right, spells out "Ewwwwwww."

[Arlene Marie]

Happy fifth attempt at writing this on a cookie? Lol the mystery remains.

[Sue W.]

That last one. The piping around the edges is saying Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww to me.

[Ruby Jackson]

What I find most offensive about the last cake is the lack of frosting on the sides!

[sendingtheclowns =^-.-^=]

Surprise!
NONE of those scrawings is a greeting.
Every one looks to me like a ransom note.
If you want to see your loved one(s) again, tough!
Take some pepto dismal and call rotorooter in the morning...
=^-.-^=