Trekkin' And Wrekkin'
May 23, 2018 ATTN Parents: Today's post may not be appropriate for junior cadets.
The saga of the bakeshop Wrecksurprise continues...
Captain’s Log, accidental:
;)
Much has happened on our journey so far.
We cleared out some Cling-ons in orbit around Uranus...
;)
...but the resulting explosion caused a gas giant to rip through the fabric of space time.
Even worse, now the engine room smells like cabbage. Ick.
We made contact with a new species on the outer reaches of the gamma quadrant. We had some initial trouble communicating...
;)
...so I had sex with it, just to be safe.
Then I had to shoot it with a harpoon.
But I think we made some real progress there, all the same.
A transporter malfunction resulted in our first casualty:
;)
I guess you could say he croaked. Haha!
And on a personal note, this crew has NO sense of humor during funerals. Seriously.
Bunch of killjoys, all of 'em.
Oh, and we lost another member of security:
;)
We're not sure which one, though, since those red shirts never seem to last more than a few days.
In other news, there was a bit of a faux pas at our dinner with the Tellarite ambassador. It seems the new chef considers himself something of a practical joker:
;)
Needless to say, the ambassador was not amused.
;)
Anyway, long story short, we're now at war with Tellar Prime. Oopsie.
So, I guess you could say it's been an interesting week so far. Now we're on our way to Vulcan to assist with their first annual Knock-Knock Joke Competition. I can't wait to give them a hand!
;)
***
"Knock knock."
"I do not understand."
"Just say 'who's there.'"
"But I already know your identity."
"Yes, but it's for the joke."
"This is a joke?"
"You better believe it, brother."
***
"Knock knock."
"This is illogical."
"Knock knock."
" ... "
"Knock knock."
"Very well. Who is there?"
"Orange."
"The Terran fruit or the pigment?"
"It doesn't matter. Either one."
"Then I choose Earth's pithy citrus."
"...You know what? NEVER MIND."
.....
"I do not 'get it.'"
Thanks to Shannon K., Jenny C., Leila A., Lindy D., Dawn E., Erin, Jed R., and again to Sharyn for the continued inspiration. May your petunias live long and prosper!
*****
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Reader Comments (11)
I may regret asking this, but what on earth are the tubes sticking out the butthole supposed to represent???
"...so I had sex with it, just to be safe" Hahahahahaha!!! Love all the ST references!
Har har. :P. I will say that the LLAP cake looks pretty good.
1) Yule not like this one.
2) And this, junior, is why you never sit on a porcupine!
3) The Hulk is getting in touch with his feminine side.
4) If I told you this was a frog, would you think I amphibian?
5) Now for our Rorschach test. Look at this and tell me what you see.
6) This baker, he's such a boar. He's probably hoping everyone will pig out and hog all the cake. Maybe we should just throw it at him and he'll find out that pigs can go airborne, because the swine flu.
7) Gives new meaning to the phrase "finger food".
The next to last "being" reminded me of a Twilight Zone episode.... "Eye of the Beholder". Still not as scary as the pastries.
=^-.-^=
I read this in Shatner's voice.
My most sincere thanks for this. I got it all. And it was a really good day for it!
My internet was out yesterday so WECOME BACK! It’s only 2 days and yours is still one of the funniest “voices” ever. I totally Kermit flailed at the transformer malfunction. You, the cake wrecks team, and all the posters make me a whole lot less stabby at the end of the day. I look forward to a jon(thoJ) cartoon.
I LOVE your V
ulcan knock knock joke. :)
I really laughed as I imagined Kirk trying to tell Spock a Knock Knock joke lol. The tears are still coming lol.
Is that spahgetti on cake number 2?