Let's Play Telephone
September 19, 2017 Ever wonder what could possibly go wrong with a simple inscription on a basic cake? Well, WONDER NO MORE.
Below I've listed the inscriptions some of my trusty Wreckporters ordered from professional bakeries, followed by the cakes they actually received:
"God Bless Neal"
;)
I hear it's His middle name.
"Welcome Baby Arnold"
;)
The spacing is what really sells it.
"Happy Birthday Mom"
Now that's a cake only a mother named Bob could love.
[Btw, I'm starting to wonder if a baker named Bob is doing these on purpose. And if so, I want to shake Bob's hand.]
"Congrats British Lit"
;)
I hope this starts a trend; I want to see all the ways bakers butcher "Kyrgyzstanian."
"Happy Bandwidth Upgrade Day"
;)
"Band With Upgrade" is the name of my retro Steam Powered Giraffe cover band.
(I realize only about 3 people will get that joke... and I'm ok with that.)
"Grats to Dad"
;)
I like to think this is the baker's revenge on everyone who shortens "congratulations" to "grats." "CONGRATS" IS SHORT ENOUGH, PEOPLE.
"Old Dirty Thirty"
;)
At some point you stop being surprised. Or so I'm told.
"When I'm 64"
;)
That's actually how John says it when he's singing in his "drunk McCartney" voice, so maybe Kit sang her order over the phone. Drunk. While imitating Paul McCartney.
(Don't keep us in suspense, now, Kit: did you?)
Thanks to Colleen C., Suzanne R., Morgan & Eric, Katie D., Ethan D., Leslie C., Becky L., & Kit K. for really phoning it in today. ;)
*****
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Reader Comments (29)
Your retro Steam Powered Giraffe cover band‽
As opposed to what, exactly? And wouldn't that basically be Beats Antique?
That first cake would have been nice if only the baker had a brain....although in their defense my handwriting is so bad, I can easily see this happening to me if I have to fill out a form by hand as opposed to over the phone or computer. :/
WHOO STEAM POWERED GIRAFFE
What is British Lit?? Im British and I have no Lit.
Piping/Handwriting is very nice on most of these.
"When un- 64" is a very positive message!!! I love it. You can only be un- 64 once. After that, the sky's the lim--
....hmmmm.... (Well, the un- candles are a nice un- touch....)
=^-.-^=
Maybe the person who called in the "Happy Birthday Bob" cake had a cold at the time? *shoulder shrug*
I get the SSG joke!
@Skatie: Lit = Literature. It's a class.
Baker on phone: So, Grass to, um, how many ds should there be?
orderer: 2 in dad. Also, it is congrats
Baker: Yes, ok, Grass to Dadd, very good, bye
orderer: What. huh (thinking, they can't possibly spell dad wrong.)
Diddleymaz, in US high schools and colleges, English-language Literature is often divided into classes on British Literature and American Literature, shortened to British Lit or (in my case) "Brit Lit" and "Am Lit." That's before you start subdividing it by time, author, what have you.
I honestly saw "gross to Dadd" at first. Then it dawned: 'grass to Dadd.' Blue grass just makes it funnier. I wonder what they were ... smelling...
Ok. Happy Band With Upgrade Day cake: WHY ARE THERE LITTLE WHITE SPIKES ON ALL THE "BALLOONS"? Seriously. And why do the balloons look like they are made out of elbow skin? I'm hoping that someone else is as gutter minded as I am to get the elbow skin reference. This cake was a wreck before the lack of communication got to it.
what is going on with those balloons? Why are they so huge (Band With Upgrade Day cake)? Why does each balloon have a.... belly button? Nozzle? WHY?
Paul & Storm reference, right?
Some poor baby has been named, "Arnold?"
I too miss Upgrade. But not as much I miss the Jon. I've gone down the Hatch for all it was worth and counted Rabbit after Bunny and saw Mike passing the Reed.
I realize only three people will have the Spine to Zero in on this joke.
I miss the Jon. It is time to Upgrade the band again.
"Band With Upgrade" made me laugh out loud. What are the odds that a botched cake inscription would just happen to turn into a reference to Steam Powered Giraffe, one of my favorite groups?
People need to swallow what they are eating before the make the requests. :D
Well I kind of liked the un 64 cake lol. All the cute music notes make it work for me lol.
Yay for Steam Powered Giraffe references!!
I don't know if it's your fault, but once you get to "steam p" google auto fills "owered giraffe".
My "retro Steam Powered Giraffe" band has a Hatch for storing sammiches.
The 'When un 64' cake is so well done! It's heartbreaking.
"Happip Bond With Upgrade Dorp" to you too! It is definitely an occasion to celebrate with blobs of primary colored frosting!
TXRed its ALL English lit because its written in English, I passed my O level in it in 1976. I gave up College level because I cant bear reading Dickens.
ICome for the cakes, got the reference, ALL THE WIN! SPG is awesome so does that make me one of the 3?
Regarding the white blobs on the balloons, they're meant to be a shine or reflection to make the balloon seem more...balloonish. They're supposed to be shaped more like a comma, and on the outer edge of the balloon. One of the decorators I used to work with always put the shine on her balloons, and they looked great. I could never get it to look right, so I didn't bother with it. Balloons seem so simple, they should be easy to do, but as we see here all the time, they can go hilariously wrong.
Laughed so hard at SPG joke!! So many reasons I love your blog.