This'll Cure That Freaky Fetish
July 28, 2017 Well, not THAT one - what do you take me for, a miracle-worker? Sheesh.
No, I mean the one with the footsies. And don't try to deny it, 'cuz I know you're out there: loitering around the pedicure station, being overly helpful at the Payless, getting WAY too excited about peep-toe pumps coming back into style - yeah, you know who you are. Well, my foot-fondling friends, it's time for a little sole searching.
And for the rest of you: put down that coffee and prepare to skip breakfast (or possibly revisit it, depending on your constitution).
;)
This is a groom's cake, which begs the question: is the groom really that enamored with his own toe hair? And I know there's no good way to show severed appendages, but those ankle stumps are freaking me out juuust a little.
Side note: The words "cake" and "ankle stumps" should never, EVER, be used to describe the same thing.
;)
Hahahahahaha! See, it's like a dead person's feet! With a toe tag! To remind you of your own mortality! Isn't that hysterical? Hahhahahaha!
Right. Two things:
1) What's up with the blue drapey bits?
2) Just for fun, try to imagine the position you'd have to be in to get your feet at that angle.
There is only one word to describe this next one:
;)
AAAAUUUUGGGHHH!!!
Yep, that sums it up nicely, I think.
Then there's the delectable world of toe fungus, which I think you'll all agree is not only a great ice-breaker at parties ("Hey, wanna see something cool?"), but also really hits the spot come dessert time.
;)
That Dr. Pachman, he's such a fun guy, don't you think? Eh? Fungi? Eh? Booyah!
I'm not sure why he would order a "cake" made from upholstery foam, though: that somehow detracts from the otherwise yummy-looking toenails.
Side note: Dr. Pachman is quite possibly the coolest doctor name ever. Right up there with Dr. Spaceman.
Ok, guys, this is it: time for the most disgusting, fungus-riddled foot cake mine eyes have seen. Proceed with extreme caution and strong intestinal fortitude.
;)
Urp.
What's more horrifying: the green bugs crawling under the toenails...[pausing to swallow repeatedly]...or the fact that this is for a girl? Poor Teresa: I don't think the pretty pink icing nearly makes up for that yellowish... gelatinous...layer....
[sound of running feet]
UPDATE: Whew! Sorry, folks: my constitution just gave out, if you catch my drift. On the plus side, I just may lose those 5 pounds this week!
Hey, Sara S., Julie R., Christina B., and Jessica M., it's time to cut loose. Foot loose.
*****
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
Reader Comments (17)
In what world are foot cakes ever appropriate?! :/
Eeurgh... =-P
@Mindy:
At a podiatrist's convention?
You gotta foot it to them~~they really nailed those!
=^~.-^=
Brings a whole new meaning to 'putting your foot in your mouth' .
Hahah Blargh!!!! That's just so nasty!
Wayne's Meta-Toe-sal was very well done, but still...Blargh!
I've actually made a broken leg cake before. It was requested that there be dark hair on the leg and toes. The cast was light blue fondant and I gave the customer an edible marker, so they were able to sign the cast. Wish I could post a pic. It was really cute.
"Feet don't fail me now!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikefljhUxT0
Do they have a jam filling? (At least the toes...) 😝
@Mindy1, maybe they wanted to get a kick out of these cakes? Maybe they charge by the foot? Or just maybe the wreckers were feeling agony of defeet. ;-)
@Mindy1:
In Wreck Werld, uv korce!
=^~.~^=
I hate. Feet. Ewwww. I can't. I just can't.
I could not forget this post from before. One of the grossest ever.
oh my.
oh my
oh my.
in what world would any of these be considered food? or celebratory for that matter?
Really? No Bokononism jokes? Are all the Kurt Vonnegut geeks on holiday?
Podiatrists would probably not even want these cakes lol. They see enough gross stuff to last them forever and I know I sure as heck wouldn't want to even see fungus on a cake.. blergh.
Jen,
Your last comments made me think of the video of 80's hits sung by Sesame Street. (Really. It exists. And is hilarious. Check YouTube.) Instead of time to cut loose, perhaps it's time to catch that goose? (Can you imagine THAT cake?)
Except that's a broken phalange, not a broken metatarsal. /facepalm