LET'S RUIN SOME BIRTHDAYS
April 28, 2017 BIRTHDAYS, am I right? They're just so... predictable. Every year like clockwork, the same old parties, the same cracks about getting old, the same legal notices advising you the restraining orders issued by your favorite boy band are still in effect...
Bah.
So I say, if you can't beat 'em, make them worse for everyone else.
Like this!
;)
Does it help or hurt that her name is Penny? Asking for a friend. Whose name is Penny.
You know how people love it when you call attention to their seasonal allergies?
;)
Boo to the Ya.
("See, it's funny, because your health is poor and that constant sniffing annoys the rest of us! Did you get that? Oh, you did? Cool. Just wanted to make sure. )
I'll be honest, I don't think Willow needed to know this:
;)
SO I APPROVE.
Now Willow, you can retaliate with THIS:
;)
Bonus: this could be botched "cheapskate" OR it could be calling Kate cheap. Either way, I think we ALL come out winners here.
And finally, for those times when the words "You're a horse's a$$, Dad" just aren't enough:
;)
There's this.
Or is that a donkey butt?
WAIT... no. Could it be? Is that...
Is that an ass's a$$?
YESSSSS. So is it like when you say someone is a "real man's man"? Meaning Dad here is a "real ass's a$$?"
I'm tearing up. It's so beautiful.
Thanks to Brandi D., Maryann S., Anony M., Jeannette M., & Anony T. who think I'm ridiculous for censoring one a$$ but not the other. Yes, yes I am. Now, bottom's up!
*****
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Reader Comments (19)
2nd cake: And it was all great, and everyone was having a blast, until someone had a sneezing attack, and grabbed for a tissue.
=^-.-^=
What is the point of making an ass cake?!?!?! Why???
My husband saw the donkey cake over my shoulder and asked if it was a - ahem - wang on a butt with, um, some white stuff (he used different words, of course).... Dirtier than I could ever imagine!
Does that last cake have a chocolate filling?
That first cake made me laugh because my name has been changed: Tenny, Kenny, Peggy, Henny.
Panny just must be a Mennonite from my town. That's how you said it don'tcha know?
Doggone it, that "donkey" cake is just somebody trying to find a use for the heart pans that only seem to be useful on Feb 14th. That said, I am puzzled beyond the beyond. And @Laura, as far as your husband is concerned, I went there too, only I was having trouble with the fact that the end of the -ahem- had a pom-pom on it.
Finally, that tissue really looks like a tissue. Heck, it's even picked up grease from the icing on the lower left hand corner. There are rules about putting inedibles on cakes. Oh, I forgot, wreckerators never learned those rules.
Today is my dear son's birthday, so thanks for all the great ideas!
Re: Last cake: Why the white frosting? WHY THE WHITE FROSTING???!
It was a surprise to me to see the last cake as today IS my 60th only it should read as Aunty not dad...LOL
On the other hand, the last cake COULD be an abstract elephant head where the elephant has a rare skin pigment disease and a mustache like Groucho Marx.
But...probably not.
Today is my husband's birthday, so... this is pretty much perfect ;)
Your censorship is fine: the first ass is "biblical." The second? Not so much.
I think it's meant to be eeyore's butt from Winnie the pooh
Balls! That was an A$$??? That took me foreverrrrrrrrrr. I may have looked at that way longer than i should have too.
Well that last cake.. I had to look twice to be sure I saw what I thought I saw and not some weird wang with a beard lmao. Though now at this thought I am laughing all over again.
To borrow a line from Tom Smith, if you give someone that last cake, I Kanga-rantee, Eeyore gonna Roo the day...
(Lyrics to the parody are here: http://www.tomsmithonline.com/lyrics/house_cthulhu_corner.htm. If you like geeky stuff, Tom's music will tickle your funny bone. Unless, of course, you are among the small percentage of the population that can't handle puns.)
@Reader: I don't think so. Eeyore had that big pink bow on his tail, remember? Whatever they were going for, I don't think that was it. But it IS so meta. An ass's ass? A half-assed version of "Inception".
We had an issue like this on Friday. It was my grandmother's 85th birthday. My mom wrote "HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANNY" on it (Nanny is what I call my grandmother). When we picked up the cake, it read "Happy Birthday Nancy." Either we got someone else's cake, or someone goofed.