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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jun022016

Wrecky Mountain Highway

For some reason Courtney wasn't happy with the "mountains" she requested on her son's birthday cake:

Can't imagine why.

 

So she went back and explained she'd actually wanted RAISED mountains, not just flat drawings.

Happily, the bakery agreed to fix the cake.

And here's the finished result:

Not gonna lie; this made me laugh way longer than it should have. I keep picturing a baker with an ice cream scoop, a big tub of icing, and a deadpan expression. Bwahahaha!

Ahem.

 

But don't you worry, Courtney; I AM HERE TO HELP.

Check out some of the other "mountains" your fellow wrecky minions have sent in:

 

(I hear the hiking there is really crappy.)

 

(Oh, Frozen cake kit, why can't we quit you?)

 

And my personal favorite:

Mount Bakkaladeezhed.

 

There, Courtney, don't you feel better?

 

Thanks to Courtney G., Jessica G., Elaine S., Jeff D., & Kate V. for the sneak peaks.

*****

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Reader Comments (36)

"Sneak peaks"????? Well done, Jen.
Great wrecks, as usual!

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

Is that last one supposed to be Devils Tower?

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

You mean the last one isn't Cousin Itt?

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMelC

And to think of all the money wasted on college, when all I had to do was open a bake shop.... :P

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Is it just me or does anyone else think the "Frozen" cake looks like a beach scene with women dancers in fringe dresses?

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Courtney's cake looks like they put pasties on the mountains....

I have no idea what those blobs are on Andy's cake....

Poor Thomas the Train going through the Poo Forest....

And, finally, I am not so sure the "mountains" on the Frozen cake aren't male appendages spewing forth (especially the 3 on the left)...

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

Mountains... literally... MOUNTAINS, as in S, plural, Mountains... of icing... YUM!!! MY day is made! Slurp...

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBea

1) Yeah, Andy... Good luck getting that St. Bernard doo off your shoes... O.o

2) Mt. Bakkaladeezhed looks more like Mt. Honwehavtermyts, to me.

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Nuns in Austria sing this all the time while frolicking through the Alps:

Ask for a mountain
Have it done just so
Just describe your mountain
Maybe it won't blow

Wrecked cakes with mountains
Big lumps of cream
Hairy, poopy mountains
Look like a bad dream

A dream that will fill you with horror and shame
Shiny glop, big brown lumps
And you know who to blame

You want a mountain
Sure, what the heck
Go ask for your mountain
You will get a wreck

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Is it possible that the last one is supposed to be a grass hula skirt? The figures on top are wearing leis.

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

@Michelle, it kinda does!

I don't mean to hurt the bride and groom's feelings, but on that last one, that cake topper is much more hideously ugly than the cake.

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

That last one seems to mean something but I just can't seem to place it.

And why am I craving potatoes now?

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Wow, I haven't thought of the mashed potato Devil's Tower from Close Encounters in a looooong time.

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermeech

The last one could be celebrating the union of two rural folks met and matched on FarmersOnly.com. They appear to be embracing atop a haystack.
( I'm not a baker; my cakes and cookies are endorsed by the NHL, so how would 3D mountains be made on a sheet cake? In real life, not on a cable cake show?)

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

@Trista: I was seeing the same thing! (Crazy minds climb alike?) The happy couple leave something to be desired, though. The groom looks like Bela Lugosi....as Dracula. (Is he staring at her neck? IS he???) =^-.-^=

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Was that last one made by Richard Dreyfus in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"?

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPatty Newt

Yes, another vote for Devil's Tower in that last pic.

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

"It was a beautiful day on the island of Sodor. The sun was shining; the birds sang. Then, a unicorn who'd eaten some bad sushi flew overhead and crapped all over the island. Luckily, no one was hurt!" (Anyone else out there who's seen way too much Thomas?)

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKerry

@s.marie...LMAO at your "I'm not a baker, my cakes and cookies are endorsed by the NHL". Priceless. I spit iced tea on my keyboard with that one. Thank you for the laugh. And if you don't mind, I'm going to use that line to describe some of my family and friends attempt to bake treats. Trust me, Endorsed by the NHL should be stamped on them.

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

You'll be glad to know that the Frozen kit with the mountains has been discontinued. We won't have to worry about them anymore.

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterALLEGRA

It looks like they added the icing version of Trump's hair to the first cakes to make them "mountains."

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I've never thought to ask, but with cakes you don't see til the event like wedding cakes, do they get a refund? I mean, come on. You've ruined a wedding. Surely you're gonna give a refund? I'd either skip town or go to another bakery and use the money they paid me to get a good one.

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie H

Cake #3....am I the only one who see the bride and groom standing atop Cousin ITT?

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterwombatgirl73

I believe Jennifer is correct. It's Donald's hair before his team of engineers combs it over and sprays it with shellac. Dracula and The Corpse Bride are celebrating his candidacy. I'm not saying it's unappetizing...a lot of people are saying it's unappetizing, but I don't know. Many, many people have come to me and called it inedible, but I'm not saying it...Who knows...?

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Believe me...

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Is it just me or do all these cakes have huge...enormous tracts of...land?

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I'm not sure who those two people are on top of the last cake but I'm guessing they both sport unibrows.

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterlynn

That last cake is hideous. But, you do have to admit, it goes well with that hideous cake topper.

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Devil's tower fur shere!!!!!!!!!!!! They need a wrecky Close Encounters space ship hovering above that wrecky cake! Gagh!

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Close Encounters of The Turd Kind

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDave

Oh man I really hope no one paid for these horrors lol especially the last one. I can't quite figure out if that thing is a mountain or heck I can't think of anything else that could be.. brain ran off in fear lol.

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

S.marie: if I undertook to make a cake with 3D mountains on it, I would bake 2 or 3 cakes in metal pudding basins, carve them into shape, stick them onto the sheet cake with icing, then ice the whole thing. Job done. If, however, I was asked to fix cake #1, my reponse would be "Can you wait until tomorrow? If so, I'll do another cake. If not, sorry, anything I do will make it worse, here's your money back." We need a course for bakers on how to say 'No'.

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

Is it me, or does the bride on that last cake look like Steve Carrell in drag?

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

Thanks Morag. I knew it took talent and skill, something you don't always find in a $17.99 sheet cake.

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

i guess you can't always make mountains out of molehills.

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

I'm wondering why people continue to go to grocery store "bakeries" and request elaborately decorated cakes and then get upset when they don't get it. Walmart/Kroger/Meijer/etc cake decorators are trained on the job to create the cakes in the order book--that's it. If you want a cake from Pinterest you're going to have to pay a lot more than $20 for it. It's called paying for skill. Sorry, guys. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

June 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

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