Hamilton Gets (Cake) Wrecked
June 13, 2016 I'm a bit dehydrated after last night's Tony Awards (PS, John, we need more tissues), but it was so worth it. Almost as many laughs as tears, great music, and my newest obsession, Hamilton, swept up 11 awards.
I realize many of you have yet to drink the revolutionary Kool-Aid, though, and are still a little fuzzy on what exactly Hamilton is.
So here to further fuzz it up - and make my fellow Hamiltonians snorfle - are some of the show's top songs... illustrated with wrecky cakes.
Ready?
;)
My Shot
;)
I don't think he's throwing this one away, you guys.
(Ignore the nipple.)
(It's not that kind of show.)
The Story Of Tonight
;)
Oh, they'll be telling this one, all right.
Right Hand Man
;)
Yeah... that's not the choice I would've gone with.
(Not to point fingers or anything.)
Helpless
;)
Prediction: they will never be satisfied.
You'll Be Back
;)
"Time will tell. You'll remember that I served you well."
Wait For It
;)
"...."
Stay Alive
;)
Just one slice. That would be enough.
Say No To This
;)
"Uh-oh! Time to pay the piper for the pants you unbuckled!"
The World Turned Upside Down:
;)
I see you smiling over there, George.
One Last Time
;)
"We're gonna teach 'em how to say goodbye!"
"... which may take a while."
Best of Wives And Best of Women
;)
She knows who she married: he's out standing in his field.
Thanks to Dana S., Camirae, V.W., Nicole V., Aurora C., Shannan P., Anna C., Kathryn R., Andrea W., Katie M., Kathryn T., & Carrie D. for the excuse to make nerdy Broadway jokes today, because after last weekend, I needed this.
And for my fellow Hamiltonians, a helpful PSA:
Though personally, I don't want to be cured. ;)
*****
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
Reader Comments (34)
Thank you. I need to collect myself. I mean, I can't. My favorite thing on my favorite blog. Oh, I... I'll be back in a minute.
I was younger than you are now
With a pastry bag in my hand
My first cake looked like a massacre
I witnessed the mess firsthand
I made every mistake
I felt the shame rise in me
And even now I lie awake
Knowing Cakey Wrecks has it’s eyes on me
Whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh,
Yeah.
Let me tell you what I wish I’d known
When I was young and dreamed of bakin’
You have no control
You’ll never know what wrecks you’re makin’
Thanks for this. I moved out of Orlando four years ago but still have plenty of friends there. Sending you and yours good wishes.
I saved every cake that you baked for me
From the moment I saw them
I knew they were wrecks
They sure looked like wrecks
I thought they were wrecks.
Do you know what John and Jen said
When they saw your first cake had arrived?
They said,
Be careful of that one, love
He has no real skill, only drive
Your sloppy work flooded my senses
Your six fingers left me defenseless
You built me palaces out of peni
You wrecked cathedrals
I'm not eating the cakes that you sent me
I'm searching and scanning for spelling
In every line
For some kind of sign
You're work's far from fine
I think they should
Burnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Burrrr urrrr urrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
I feel completely left out because I know nothing about 'Hamilton'. :(
[Editor's note- Sorry about that, Kim. Jen needed this today. I think she finished this post at 2am this morning. But take it from me, you should really listen to Hamilton. If it takes reading a blog for you to listen to Hamilton, it will have been worth it. :) -john (the hubby of my own Eliza)]
The cakes that I saw sent me back to New York
The-e cakes that I saw sent me back to New York
I opened up a bake'ry (inspired awe)
Inspired awe- A. worked next door
Even though we started at the very same time
Alexander's bakery began to climb
How to account for his rise to the top?
Maaan, his frosting ain't glop
(Ten minutes of discussion on Alexander's mind boggling cake decorating skills followed by Hamilton encouraging Burr to support quality control measures for caxe decorators)
Ham: Burr, we studied and practiced 'cause we cared
While other bakers seem to be quite 'awfly' imnpaired
For once in your life, take a stand with pride
I don't understand why you let these wrecks slide
Burr: I'll pipe a black blurr on Tony's chest (wait for it, wait for it)
I'll place pink nipples where they don't go
I'm making my wrecks
Covered with helicopters and tractors
What are they? I just don't know.
(That last part is my favorite 10 seconds of the show and it hurt me to mess with it.)
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine
It's the Ten Wreck Commandments
It's the Ten Wreck Commandments
Number One:
The order: Demand satisfaction
If they write it all down there's no need for further action
Number Two:
If they don't, grab a pen
Take a second
Write it down yourself 'case there's a Wreck needing to be reckoned
Number Three:
Look the baker in the face. Negotiate a price, then negotiate a time and place
This is commonplace, when bye-ing a cake
Most get their order and it's fine having no mistakes
If you don't want a wreck that's not right
You might give an IQ test and see if they can write
You pay in advance, you treat him with civility
Don't let him make a wreck and then claim some deniability
Five:
Arrive before the baker has time to get high
Pick up day's a day when you don't ask why
Six:
Assure your friends and family then reassure all kin
Pray the bake'ry's open and they let you in
Seven:
He let's you in, (cue the snare drum)
Shot of adrenaline when you face the outcome
Number Eight:
No chance left to negotiate
If you get a wreck, it's your's if it's not so great
Number Nine:
Hope the cake you get is the one you desire
Summon all the courage you require
Then count:
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine
Number Ten! Face it
Wreck!
My word those cakes are...I cannot believe people paid for this :O did not watch Tony's, but Lin Manuel gave a poignant reference to what happened in Orlando :'(
KimS, Listen to John. He's a hero and a scholar.
I haven't seen Hamilton yet, but I've been bursting into song since I was in musicals in high school. My son does it, too. :-)
Great parodies Su Bee!
Sympathies to Orlando at this sad time...
For those not familiar with the awesomeness that is Hamilton, check out the soundtrack asap. This blog post made my day!
I've got no explanation for the disco dancer looking like he came out of an explosion. And I hope the nipple's an in-joke.
Thanks, John and SuBee. I'll try and find time to check it out :)
Am I the only one who read "Caxe" "Decorator" instead of "cake"?
I thought you were going to do something on Florida.
Count the fingers on that hand.
Take your time, enjoy and have fun! I'm not a fan of musicals; in fact, the last one I went through was Peter Pan (who was played by Mary Martin)! I'll see you when you get back....and will try to save you some cake! I'm going to hang here, sharing a mug of frosting with Cookie Monster... ("Shove over a little, you big lug...! Wait! Whatta ya MEAN you're driving?! How many have you had already? Oh, boy.... TAXI !!!" )=^-.-^=
Oh, can I show you what I proudest of
(The Bakery)
I established a fine, cupcake bakery in New York City
(The Bakery)
I help to bake hundreds of cupcakes
I make sure there's no CCCs
In those cakes I see you Jen and John
I see you every time
And when my time is up, have I done enough?
CCCs are scary
Oh, I can't wait to to see them on Wrecks
It's only a matter of time...
Kai - you are not alone...I guess I need to see/listen to Hamilton, but who can afford tickets?! BTW: we had a "We will miss you" Pat Good luck at XXXX cake today, complete with quote-marks, I am sorry that I didn't get a photo for you...alas. But it made me think of CakeWrecks! Love! #IStandWithOrelando...sad times
In a cake that I received from you two weeks ago
I saw quotations in the middle of a phrase
It changed the meaning. It makes no sense now
The spelling’s wrong, too and the writing kind of sways
It says:
My “dearest” Angelica
With quotations ‘round Angelica.
You’ve written
“Happiest” HVD
There once was a commenter named SuBee
She could Weird AL a cake wreck in any key
She would parody on sight
Without thought of copyright
And said, 'If you don't like it then sue me!'
I'm so behind the times I'm still singing songs from A Chorus Line. And I very clearly saw 'caxe.'
Love more, hate less, eat more cake. <3 <3 <3
The "caxe decorator" one reminds me of the time I went into a local grocery store advertising for a "cake decorater". I said, "I hope they find one who spells better than the person who wrote that sign."
Maybe "caxe" is a smushing of "cake wrecks"?
@Ado_Annie
Kiss this cake good buy
The sweetness and the sorrow
No one likes a cake with poo
Wreckers don't regret
What they did for cash
What they did for cash
I actively hate musicals and I love Hamilton so much I spent three straight days just listening to Geoff's King George. Everyone I know adores it.
Give it a try!
Condolences to your city.
I was having a Hamilton-themed day even before I saw this - perfect!
Slapped icing on the cake in seconds flat
Saying, 'I can wreck that, I can wreck that!'
SuBee, you made my day! (Here imagine an icon of a top hat & Cappesios)
Oh my gosh the giggles these wrecks gave me. The wreckerators outdid themselves today lol.
I don't know what is funnier- the blog post or the comments. SuBee? You are a genius.
SuBee, you are on fire!!!!
Jen, today's post is a wonderful antidote to this weekend's horror. Thanks for the grins.
Sending hugs and love to you and everyone in Orlando!
I had to stare for a while before I realized the "shot" was not just a stream of vomit coming out of Cookie Puker's mouth. I thought it was bile and marshmallows. Ew.
Hamilton & Cake Wrecks together? The world is now complete!
You're into Hamilton?! Of COURSE you're into Hamilton! You're already into all the other cool and faboo things that I love, so how could you *not* be into Hamilton? Great job with this post! (And SuBee, you rock!)
Are those tampons being towed by the tractor?