Baby Bears All
May 5, 2016 Yesterday I offered to buy John some nipple pasties, but before you judge, it wasn't for anything "weird." It was just to cover his nipples.
You know, when he goes running. Because they hurt. His nipples, I mean. When he runs. I like talking. In short, choppy sentences. Like this.
Which just goes to show, well, everything except the nipples. But also that you should never make snap judgements on anything.
Take this cake, for example:
At first glance, it's just a pink bear with a little black nose being shunned by three invisible, barefoot ghosts.
BUT, look closer, and you soon realize ...
SWEET BETTY CROCKER, THAT BEAR IS EATING A BABY!!
Which explains why the ghosts are shunning him, if you think about it. After all, eating babies is never something you want to encourage - is it, bakers?
Of course, after a fifth or sixth glance you might start to think that isn't a bear at all, but rather a knitted pink snow suit with an unfortunate child stuck inside...being shunned by three invisible ghosts. Which makes SO much more sense for a baby shower. o.0
Right, I take it back: in this case, a snap judgement really IS the best option. It's a bear. And I like men who wear pasties. Because I'm a weirdo. A fun, fun weirdo.
Thanks to Joy O. for being weird with me. But not in a weird way.
*****
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Reader Comments (28)
What a weird post today.
:-) :-)
I liked it!
Done by a more skilled baker that could have been so cute....
Save the tatas- buy some Bodyglide! :-)
That bear (baby?) has a bad case of the bloat. Is that what eating babies does to you?
Does that poor child have encephalitis? A broken neck? Gastric trouble? I've never seen such a misshapen baby in my life! I don't think the ghosts are shunning her; they are guarding the poor soul.
Of course we could eat babies. We say all the time, I could eat you up!"
Jen, today's post just made me laugh and laugh! You made my day.
Before I got to the fact that there was a baby face in all that pink bear/sweater...ness, I was wondering why the bear had no ears. It is a deaf bear. This obviously caused it much rage, so he sucked in the baby, much like the baby was sucking its pacifier.
GAAAGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Only a very disturbed Wreckorater could come up with this weirded out.... cake.
My girls had a little bunny bunting that looked very much like that, only, of course, as a bunny. And that cake would be much harder to eat if it were realistic. The real-looking baby cakes creep me out....
Now, now, let's not judge. The basic normal-type Bearbaby is obviously concentrating on drawing enough energy to evolve into a stage 1 Goldilockses.
o_0
Oh, this reminds me of that fun party game we used to play!! It goes: "If you were being swallowed alive by a GIANT SOMETHING, what would YOUR "something" BE?" (Well, I thought it would be fun, but it always put everyone to sleep.) Maybe Sam the Eagle could be dubbed to say, "LET THEM EAT WRECKS!" =^-.-^=
Eeeeeeek!
Those limbs look like pink ears of corn...
My hubby's favorite quote when the sh*te is strong with this one, "You are all weirdos. . ." In that wonderfully deep offended tone of voice. BWAHAHAHAHA!
OH, and don't forget revenge of the fifth, cartoonist day, Cinco de Mayo and #tbt. Is that just too much to pin on the back of one poor unsuspecting day of the week?
The knitted texture looks pretty well done, and the baby face is recognizable. I think the only mistake the baker made was using too big a ball for the head. The footprints are nicely done, too.
Is the pacifier made of Life Savers?
I liked the Sam the Eagle video clip! Made my day so much better.
Um, so I immediately saw an upside-down Snoopy head instead of the baby's face, and it wasn't until I read the commentary that I realized it was supposed to be something else. Not that Snoopy being eaten by a fluffy pink bear isn't any less disturbing, but it does add yet another layer to the wreckage...
It's a cross between the Easter Bunny suit and the little brothers snow suit in A Christmas Story!
I second the BodyGlide suggestion, it works like a charm.
What will they do next......
When Cake Wrecks discusses the nipple
There is a strong chance of reaction by pipple
Who'll say "stop it at once!
We want to eat lunch,
But this topic drives us to tipple."
I LOVE the Sam The Eagle bit! Anyway...they do sell anti-chafe stuff, as far as I know, it is like "chapstick" you can put on your nipples (or any other place that chafes) when you run...This comes from a friend that has run marathons.
Oh that poor poor baby being eaten alive by the bear/snow suit. As for the feet maybe they are the feet of the ghosts of babies past that were stuck in the same thing lol.
I know this isn't quite the right place for it, but remember the jelly pool cake that "offended half of Australia" when declared a wreck? Well our local online Oz newspaper has an article on the cake and book it came from today for you to enjoy: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/food/eat/how-the-greatest-book-ever-written-in-this-country-came-about/news-story/4dd4493ebb173dae3ef0eaa0ed0c1a6c
I told you it's a much loved culturally significant cake :)
I LOVE Sam the Eagle! Have you seen him on the rebooted Muppets television show? His unrequited love of Janice is wonderful. See this:
https://youtu.be/WTKPx_5TtBo
Oh my God, you killed Kenny.
You bearstard.
(Sorry, that's what it reminded me of once Jen pointed out it was a baby not a bear, if you can imagine it in orange instead of pink.)
Oh, heavens! I have a copy of that Australian cake book. I don't know why they called the duck cake "controversial". The only thing controversial about it was my language when the blasted potato chips kept breaking when I tried to stick them on the cake. I finally glued them in place with a red icing tongue!
If John is having difficulty with chafing, may I suggest checking your local culinary specialty store for a solution? I hear they make a cooking accessory specifically for this.