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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Apr222016

From The Baker Formerly Known As Prince

Note- We'll return to our regularly scheduled Friday Favs next week. I just needed to put this up today.

 

I was working part time in a bakery line
My boss was Mr. Wreckie
He told me several times that he didn't like my signs
'Cuz I spelled too "creatively"

 

Soon he had me lookin' for something else to "destroy"
But different from the day before

That's when I saw it - Oooh, I saw it!
I dropped it right on the tile floor (tile floor).

It was a
Raaaaaspberry purée

The kind you grind and then reheat to pour

Raaaaspberry purée

And if it gets warm it starts to look like gore

Raaaspberry purée

I think I loooove you.

 

Mr. Wreckie
Now, had the nerve to ask me
If I planned to do him any harm

I told him, "Look, man,
I was only bakin'
Surely NO cause for alarm!"

I said now, jelly roll cakes never turned me on
But somehow the purée and bread mixed

Eeee-eEEEE-ee! That was a fright!
But I could tell Wreckie missed me;
Soon I was back to my old tricks:

Thanks to the
Raaaaaspberry purée
The kind you grind and then reheat to pour

Raaaaspberry purée
And if it gets warm it starts to look like gore

(EW!)

Raaaspberry purée
I think I loooove you.

***

 (Goodnight, sweet Prince.)


Thanks to Diana S., Jillian, Katelyn C., Leigh E., Tara S., Jamie B., Renee, Michelle M., Elizabeth C., and Megan P. for showing us what it sounds like when doves cry. 

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Reader Comments (55)

<3

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

Looks like someone got Aliens and Star Trek crossed.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commentercajun2core

A hehehe awww :')

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

Ah,Jen, my favorite Prince song! Thanks for the weird, delightful spin on the tune that made memories. (So much better than going with a purple theme. Or paisley. Thank you for your cleverness.)

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

That is just pure genius! (Or is it puree genius?) Thank you.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersue

Oh, Jen......so gory, and yet, so sweet. I think we love you. (Also, I'd bet dollars to doughnu----er bloody wrecks- that even Prince would have gotten a kick out of this.) =^~.~,^=

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I think I heard the mic drop after this entry was posted.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

I'm still in disbelief that Prince is gone. Great post - though I can't imagine eating one of those cakes!

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

Wow I actually recognize that jelly roll dome thing from the great british bakeoff show. It's supposed to look like that! .. sort of.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

Just kicking off my saying ILY! Cake Wrecks and Epbot are the best! But I feel compelled to mention that that one cake that looks like a brain, with all the swirls and the strawberry on top? That is actually *exactly* what that cake is supposed to look like! Surprisingly, it is extremely well made. That kind of cake is called a Charlotte Royale and it's full of strawberry mousse! They're freakin' DELICIOUS. Yum yum. BUT ALSO. That Star Trek cake is AMAZING what an extremely specific reference! Love it! So gory!

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

And I love YOU.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFM

I wasn't a huge Prince fan, but the one thing I liked about him was his love of purple (which I also love). Thanks for this oddly touching tribute!

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterlazykerri

Thank you so much for reposting this! I loved it when it first came out, and I went looking for it when I heard about Prince on the news yesterday.

This morning the news was covering several parties that took place last night as a tribute to his music. His close friends say that this is he would want to be remembered - with joy, not sadness.
Cake Wrecks - another word for Joy in my dictionary!

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCatEarly

Spectacular tribute, Jen. and I agree with sendingtheclowns. <3

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSandy in So Fla

Wreck it like it's 1999! Prince will be missed :(

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMudmusher

The "Chest-Burster Nerd Rage" cake is so steeped in "awesome" I'm at a loss for words.

(The voices say they are, too).

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Awesome post! Thanks! Glad it wasn't Darling CCC!

Outstanding!

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMidmodtom

is the last one intestines? the last one is intestines.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenteret

Pamela, the 'jelly roll dome thing' is a Summer Pudding, a fine British dessert. You stew a sweetened mixture of red berries for a short time, and pour it into a buttered bowl lined with slices of white bread fitted closely together. The juice soaks into the bread and the whole thing jells when it cools, so that you can turn it out. It's essential that there should be plenty of red currants in the mixture to provide enough pectin to solidify the pudding, and you must stay light on strawberries because too many will soften it and make it slump when turned out. The one in the picture has been done with slices of Swiss Roll (US: jelly roll) for extra decorative effect. It looks good to me.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

Listening to Prince and Raspberry Beret cane on just as I opened this post. I had to read alon with the music. Perfect! LOL

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTolann

I think the Star Trek/Alien cake might actually be a reference to this episode: http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Conspiracy_(episode)

I don't know why someone would want to commemorate that episode with a cake, though.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

I really like that you used Raspberry Beret as a send off. Especially since it was written by Warren Zevon, another brilliant singer/song writer that we lost too soon. What better wake than to know one is remembered, appreciated, then smiled and cried for. I tip my beret to you, Jen, for providing all three.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAdo_Annie

Can you tell me why they would put an advertisement for French bread on a cake? (see picture #3) And the last one is gross - really don't want intestines on my cake.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

Thank you!

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

et - Yes, the last one is intestines. Because nothing says "PARTAY" like an intestine cake.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

There's a number of mythologies that tell tales of women with teeth in some rather unconventional locations. I feel like the alien/star trek cake is the male counterpart for these horror stories.... Guess I can deal wiht a few more night terrors. No biggie. *shudder*

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

Did anyone else notice that on the first raspberry swirly cake thingy the tag read "French Bread" LOLOLOL

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Thank you for that! I actually sang it! And, also.. Um... Ew.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Thanks for the Prince salute.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterjane lewis

You guys are awesome! That was great! Prince is chuckling I'm sure.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDiane Messantonio

I dunno but I'm pretty sure my next dog will be named Merinuge.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterabudoggie

I really enjoyed that....Raspberry Beret is my fave Prince song and I just know I'm gonna start singing Raspberry Puree.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJoJo

Wonderful. Best tribute I've seen!

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

You already posted this one...


[Editor's note- Thanks so much. I think we were pretty open about this being a replay and a tribute to Prince. Have a fantastic day. -john (the hubby of Jen)]

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEthiarpus

LOL the Aliens/Star Trek mashup is pretty spot on actually

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRose

Thank you for the funny and sweet tribute.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGigi

I'm clearly a big geek because of all these cakes what upsets me most is that the creature from Alien is coming out of the chest of a Star Trek crew member. That's just wrong.

April 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMe

Wow I loved this so much. Though I think the alien chest burster from a poor red shirted Star Trek extra will give me nightmares lol. Along with most of those "creations".. blech!

April 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

For a long time I thought the words to the song were "She wore a red, spherical dress", which was no great leap given the catwalk creations of the time. I imagined something like this:
http://www.gettyimages.com.au/pictures/agatha-ruiz-de-la-prada-runway-mfw-fw2015-photo-463121520
Pretty disappointed to find out it was a beret.
Rasperry puree is even better!

April 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAA

This is the best tribute EVER! His Purple Majesty performed the songs that were a huge part of the soundtrack of my adolescence, and he is gone far too soon.

April 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

P.S. I eagerly await your cover of my favorite Prince song, (butter)"Cream".

April 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

What a fabulous tribute to the purple one! Would like to point out to a comment before me that this song was absolutely not written by Warren Zevon. It was written by Prince.

April 24, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

Serves 12, they say? Noo, I think cake #5 will serve FAR more than just 12. Don't wanna mock religion, but that "serves 12" is kinda like the bread 'n fishes thing. Except instead of food expanding, people's appetite for cake will contract. Exponentially.

April 24, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaskfan

Warren Zevon did cover the song, just didn't write it. (Wandering off to give it a listen.)

April 24, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterD

Fun fact: the earworms in Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan were coated with raspberry jam.

April 24, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBat21

That last one looks totally like intestines.

April 24, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

I'm really late with this post because I've been away from my computer for a week, but thanks for it. I am a huge Prince fan and am still in mourning.

April 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

That.Was.Awesome. I love this site!!!!!

April 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I am a HUGE Prince fan so my heart is broken. I saw him in concert the week before he passed in Atlanta. I have been obsessed with his music since I was 12 and now I'm 47. I appreciate you posting this SO MUCH. Thank you!!! *heart*

May 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

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