Monday
Feb152016
Valentines Review
February 15, 2016 Remember last week when I told you guys to make Valentines Day extra confusing?
Well, looks like some bakers out there took my advice...TO HEART.
;)
And that's no bull.
(OX OX!)
What day is it, again?
;)
Oh, right.
Um.
So HOW old is this cake?
I'm detecting a pattern here:
;)
Maybe bacon?
And the award for "Weirdest Made-Up Punctuation" goes to...
;)
The symbol formerly known as ?!?.
("I.... am confused. >>)
Of course, as bizarre as these Valentines cakes are, it could always be worse:
;)
Must be an ice cream cake... CUZ THAT'S COLD.
Thanks to Christina L., Annalise, Beth H., Kathleen B., & Ashton A. for bringing us down in the dumps.
*****
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Reader Comments (32)
I cannot comprehend the reasoning behind these O_o
Those cakes could all be placed in the category; "OMG, it's 5:30 pm, and it's Valentine's Day, and I forgot to get my wife/girlfriend/(fill in the blank) something sweet. Just sell me anything vaguely 'Valentiney'!" to which the disgruntled recipient replies with the last cake.
Bonus points if the poor schmuck has a nut allergy.
While it may be giving too much credit to suggest the baker of #4 was thinking bilingually, the double chevron is used as quotation marks in French... but yes without any talk of "je t'aime" they probably are just sliding away from English into pure incoherence.
They went all the way down to Alphabet street for that punctuation.
For cake #1, you'll find this appropriate -
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c175/pimptizzi/Pearls%20Before%20Swine/ox.jpg
I don't think Jen was referring to the 'double chevrons' (otherwise known as speechmarks), rather than to the use of elipses ie. ... after 'I'.
Oh! The candy corn one! It's the new universal cake- hearts in February ( little president heads would work, too, AND they'd be hilarious in their lousy execution), shamrocks in March, throw some jelly beans on top in April, apple pie ( irony or just a good mash-up) and baseballs for Mothers Day, flags in July and, before you know it, naked candy corn cake in October.
Wild Thing us seriously disturbing. Reminds me of stuff I did in the 70s...
For #4, am I the only one hearing Captain Kirk say "I..... love you. Scotty....beam...me up." ?
I think the ... on the lips "cake" are like the "state your name here" instructions when saying vows or oaths. "I "state your name here" love you". Allows you to personalize the message when you hand over the cake, right?
Allegra, you nailed it! That is EXACTLY the voice in my head as I read it! All hail James Tiberius!
There is NO reason why it can't be O (hugs) and X (kisses). Most people SAY hugs and kisses, not kisses and hugs. So really, OX is correct.
As for the I.... cake, that is clearly a William Shatner valentine.
OMG. I have waited so long to find a wreck that was Cake Wreck worthy. I literally squealed when I saw the pic! Then I squealed at the other cakes...for different reasons. Oy.
I'm not the only one 2 how thought of Prince for that one cake! LOL
Hmmmm.....is that crushed nuts on the last cake? Seems appropriate.
Which one is the candy corn one? It's not a confection we get here, so I'm taking a stab in the dark and assuming #2?
I thought that was a CCC assembled by someone who forgot what a heart looked like, and the piping was done further down the production line. But that brings to mind mass:produced and decorated cakes. Can you imagine MORE of these?!?
Guess the wild thing is wild! Apparently not potty trained!
Wild thinge, you make my meat singe,
You burn everythinge coal-black, wild thinge.
Wild thinge, I think I love you,
But I wanna see you fry.
Come on, turn up the heat ...
I love you!
To be fair, #4 is labeled "Variety Pack". Who knew they were referring to the punctuation?
@Allegra: No...you're NOT.
@TwinMom: I...do not...think so. (Sorry--the smart-alec in me rose to the surface...)
Welcome! ...To the Bill Shatner School... of cake decorating!
Not bacon. Tiger or zebra stripes. At this point, can anyone guess which?
Well, in the wreckerator's defense, the lips do say "variety pack." Variety of punctuation, randomly placed.
Not weird actually, when you consider that clearly those lips belong to William Shatner.
...also, perhaps the pile o' nuts in the center of the "see other people" cake are supposed to look like the whole relationship imploding...???
First thought on the Wild Thing cake (after figuring out it says "thing") was the design is a golf course layout. Perhaps "Wild Thing" is a jab at someone's accuracy off the tee.
I totally read the "I....love you" cake as... William Shatner... in my head. Lol
Oh, now I see the candy corn in #2. Honestly, when I looked at it earlier today, the background icing looked white on the bottom. Yes, really - how OLD is that cake?!
Re #1: Erika, I agree with the hugs & kisses order. Makes sense. Personally, it could double as a Valentine / Chinese New Year cake for my birth-year of the Ox!
@adina, too funny!
Maybe there's some Magic Picture I'm missing on the Wild Thing cake. I keep squinting my eyes, but all I see is chocolate road kill. Why did the Wild Thing cross the cake? I guess we'll never know.
Wild thing
You make me question things
Bakers make everything groovy
Wild thing
Wild thing, I think I 'm confused
But I wanna know for sure
So come on and tell me
What the heck they are
"I...Love You!" The William Shatner pause!
Would totally eat that last cake lol. That or be tempted to throw it at whoever gave it to me.. sheesh that would be mean.
I legitimately thought the lips cake was actually a football. Wow.
Haha that is cold like that persons HEART 😡😈😈😈😈😈👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂
Cake #1 reminds me of a pair of socks a former coworker of mine gave me for Christmas. She knew I like wacky socks, so she found this tacky pair of Christmas socks that were supposed to say HO HO HO, but there was a misprint, and they said OH OH OH. She said she knew she had to get them for me as soon as I saw them, and it was much appreciated; I laughed so hard when I unwrapped them.
Still wear them each Christmas. :)