Pan-Wow
January 13, 2016 [adjusting headset mic]
[gelling hair]
Hi, it's john with Pan-Wow. This pan is shaped like a heart but it's also a pan so you can make cakes that are shaped like a heart.
;)
A regular pan can only make cakes that look like a circle or a square, but the Pan-Wow can make a cake that looks like anything. Look at this apple.
;)
You can't get an apple cake out of a round pan. Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's an apple.
Use it at home, in the bakery, in the car or the boat. Going to a Halloween party?
;)
Pan-Wow.
Oh, no. Is that a ghost?
;)
No. It's a Pan-Wow.
Going tailgating at the football game?
;)
Pan-Wow.
When you're done, just throw it in the dishwasher. It's metal. It's shaped like a heart. Look at these balloons:
;)
There's three different colors. You could use four colors. Or five. It doesn't matter. Pan-Wow.
Made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff. Use it for Christmas:
;)
Why not? It's a Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's Santa Claus.
What's that? You're graduating?
;)
Now it's a hat. Amazing.
Got a steak? Put it in the Pan-Wow.
;)
It's a heart and it's a steak. It's like a heart steak. But it could also be an apple/scary Halloween/ football/balloon steak. So many uses.
Is that the Easter Bunny?
;)
Pan-Wow.
And if you comment within the next five minutes, we'll give you a Pan-Wow absolutely free.* You can't beat that. Order now.
Thanks to Lisa S., Erin M., Shelley B., Melissa G., Marie H., Cristina Z., Jyap, Sarah S., and Anna C. who don't mind the three easy payments of $29.95.
*Plus shipping and handling. Other charges may apply. Pan-Wow may not be made in Germany. Pan-Wow may not be metal. Pan-Wow may not be shaped like a heart. Pan-Wow may not enjoy being taunted.
*****
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Reader Comments (65)
The strip steaks in heart containers kill me. I could see some dude coming home on V-day, handing his gal that "heart" and say, "Happy Valentine's Day. Now go cook, woman."
Not to mention: Leprechaun, turkey, Baby butt ,American flag, and many, many more! If you order now, we will include a special adapter to make beautiful Valentine treats!
Pan-Wow can even show the graduation of a pair of anatomical balls. Isn't that amazing?
Wow Just Wow! That last one... are you sure it's the Easter Bunny? I couldn't get my head all the way around to see.
Love Cake Wrecks! It's how I start my mornings!
To be fair it only got really bad once you saw the Panwow balloon cake. I didn't think the Halloween one was so bad. The apple was a bit odd with the brown bit. But otherwise they weren't too bad.
Spot on John! I actually have a Pan-Wow. Alas I have only used it to make heart-shaped cakes and giant cookies. I could have been using it to make other lovely baked delights such as Santa with enormous beard-covered knockers, or thong wearing butt cheeks. Getting out my pan now, have my decorating bag and icing all set. Imagine the possibilities! Thank you for the Pan-Wow hints John!
Ahhh, my dearest Cake Wrecks...have I told you lately that I love you?
You forgot to mention sushi in the Pan Wow. No lie! I've seen it done!
Not butt cakes???
Epic, John (thoj). Just. Epic.
I love you guys.
I remember this from before, and it still makes me laugh like a loon.
But wait! There's more!
Order now and get this genuine pleather icing bag for just $19.99 more! Yes, I can't believe it either. Okay, let's take a caller:
Hi, this is Marge, and I just love my PanWow. I use it for baby shower cakes and ice ruffled diapers on it. I want to know if it comes in other sizes or colors.
After so many football helmet wrecks, all I can say is "Gee! Wow! My powder-puff lavender helmet cake looks GREAT! And clean-up was a breeze! Thanks Pan-Wow!!"
***not a spokesperson
Paging Tom Carvel...
I think #2 and #3 are great examples of creativity and ingenuity and should not be called "wrecks".
THANK YOU for the Happy Fun Ball reference...Made my day a smidgeon less crappy!
AND right next to the RAW heart-shaped steak, you can have a used-to-be-appealing heart-shaped strawberry shortcake. Next to the beef franks. Ewwwwwwwwwww.
I was waiting for a butt cake made with Pan-Wow.
"Oh, no. Is that a ghost?" I lost it on that one.
That poor bunny in the last cake looks like he got stuck in a very awkward spot during a magic trick, and he ended up in a Pan-Wow package. Poor bunny. . . . .
Pan-Wow is Pan-fantastic! John you slay me.
Are you planning on making a post just like this, only with Butt Cakes? Because that heart pan just screams "Butt Cake" and I can't imagine they aren't out there.
I intend to pick up 2-3 Pan Wows as gifts! MaryO
Did I comment in time for my free (plus shipping and handling) pan wow?
I don't know...I think some of these are pretty creative.
Some of those designs, in the hands of a skilled baker, could work....although these are great just for the giggles
Don't get me wrong - I love the Pan-Wow, but this is the exact same post from 2012... I smell a glitch in the system?
[Editor's note- On Wednesdays, we always post a fan favorite from a few years ago for those new readers who might not have seen it. -john (thoJ)]
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
What's for Valentine's Day dinner- hot dogs?! Can they be prepared in the Pan Wow?
Did I win? Oooh, I hope I won. How do I find out?
Another caller:
Hi John (giggle) this is Matilda Arbuckle (giggle). Am I on the air? Welllll, I just wanted to suggest a great use for the PanWow. I use two of them to make the torso of my giant Barbie cakes. I could send you one (giggle) I just love your hair gel.
I dunno. I think I'll stick with my Pan-Tastic...
That's one butt-headed graduate.
What? No Haiku?
*ahem*
Overinflated
Balloon spermatozoa
Easy with Pan-Wow
No butt cake?! PAN WOW!
LOL! This post is just as hilarious as a Wrecky Replay as it was the first time around. Thanks for the memories and laughs. :D
Just.... wow....
If you turn the heart around, the bottom looks like butt cheeks to me. So... the seventh cake is literally an ass-hat.
May not enjoy being taunted made me spew. Always read the fine print! Rofl
Nothing says "I Love You" on Valentine's Day like lobster tails, a couple of extra fatty rib eye steaks, a strawberry-topped cake, and a pack of Hebrew National Beef Franks.
Forget the butt cakes. I'm majorly disappointed that there isn't a boob cake. Come on, Pan Wow was MADE for boob cakes!
Once you see the Graduation cap perched on a pair of butt cheeks, you just can't unsee it. . .
(Pan) WOW - now I wish I had taken a picture of the Christmas tree made from this very same heart-shaped Pan-Wow. Bonus - it was a cookie cake! Completely covered in green frosting with a brown "trunk" at the bottom (just a square of brown frosting actually). Oh well, I'm sure it will be there next year.
Graduation hat on a butt
I totally read that in his voice.
Drat, I don't have a Pan Wow but I've got a heart-shaped springform pan for cheesecakes. And, I've been wanting to make a Santa cake in it for years now. Only mine would have a cute pom-pom on the end of his hat.
@Fluffy Cow love your Haiku. Any poem that includes the term "spermatozoa" is tops in my book!
Note to Self: "Don't drink while reading this Blog..."
Luv the bunny
Well - Wilton DID show how one cake pan had many uses... But these folks need to learn to have a heart and use it for things that really can use the shape (rabbit, heart)...
Thank you John (thoJ) for this timely post. I have a heart shaped cake tin that I have only used for heart shaped cakes. What a waste that was! My eyes have been opened! It is my daughter's 9th birthday tomorrow, and now I have options: shall I make her a butt cake? Balloon spermatozoa? Maybe the Santa with bearded boobs? Decisions, decisions...
I love this!!! The comments are equally hilarious!!!
Those shaped cakes are purchased pre-baked from larger commercial bakeries for smaller retail bakeries to aid in holiday spikes. They come in frozen, ready to thaw and decorate. Sometimes bakery managers over order for a holiday and have to come up with creative ways to use up the excess or let them sit and get freezer burnt. Most retail/grocery store bakeries do NOT bake their cakes fresh anymore -- they all come in frozen. While most managers hated getting the shaped/holiday cakes in, we were often sent cases we didn't want by the corporate bigwigs that were idiots and got a great deal on them by buying up a truck full. You sometimes do what you have to do to get rid of the crap -- so don't necessarily wag your finger at the decorators or the bakeries themselves. They're just trying to make the best of a bad situation.