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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jan112016

These Wrecks Are Not What They Theme

They wanted the cake "very Christmassy."

They got it:

 

And at least Asa did get the Giants' colors:

Just with bonus text and parenthesis.

 

Katie wasn't so lucky with her American Girl themed cake, though:

To be fair, I'm not sure how you'd do an American Girl theme. Maybe line the edges with fifty dollar bills? And then set them on fire? That WOULD save on candles...

(Only joshing, AG. I'm sure your $500 bakery play set is a bargain at twice the price.)

 

Of course, even when the baker understands exactly what you want, that's still no guarantee. After all, poor Liz here wanted a cowboy theme:

o.0

Get along, lil' doggie.

 

Thanks to Kathy A., Gene A., Katie S., & Liz B. for rustlin' up them wrecky victuals.

*****

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Reader Comments (34)

There aint no pizza like a cowboy pizza.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I like the 3rd one; Happy Birthd-squish. Oh, If only they'd noticed all that extra space over on the left.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

What the heck is that on Dean's cake -- pizza?! At least the Holstein cow spots are sort of closer to a cowboy theme. But -- pizza?! Unless it's a diseased dead cow's tongue. Nah, I was forced to eat cow's tongue as a kid and they are not that pointy.

Hee -- "bonus parenthesis!" It took me a minute of staring at the cake and the caption to figure all of that one out. I kept wondering what college "CSF" was and where it was from.

Wow, that piped script is beautiful on the first one. Too bad the baker was dimwitted.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

There are very few times in life I am speechless; I talk for a living. But that "cowboy" themed cake did it.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

I literally LOLed at the American Girl commentary. Perfect!

And what a sad, sad pizza on that cowboy cake.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

I thought the last cake had a bikini bottom draped over it.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Anyone notice the very classy writing on the first one? A little late for Christmas though.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Pizza was my 2nd guess on the last one; swimsuit bottom jumped out at me THEN pizza slice over double chocolate something or other and there is no way in all the wide, wide world of sports I could have guessed bandana! On closer inspection the white splotches do look like arrempted paisley but...still...no.
I'm with Jodi on the first one. So much potential. The skill was there but no critical thinking.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

Looks like a cowboy loincloth to me.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAmy from Nashville

For the American Girl cake, I think they meant for the cake to be of the theme of the American Girl doll named Addy (Not Abby). I'm still unsure of how one would decorate a cake that way, but the name was even messed up.
Wandering around the American Girl store in Chicago is entertaining. My 9 year old daughter found it hilariously fascinating. She thought it was over the top but, while she's never been much of a doll kid, she did think some of the stuff was cool. And horrendously priced. I've always been a little bit glad she never wanted one.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

The $500 playset is 24 x 32 inches. For that price, I would expect an exceptionally nice play kitchen that the child could stand in. My chubby cat wouldn't even fit in that.

My kid was happy with some old frying pans and a stove made from a cardboard box decorated with sharpies.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCatTrampoline

Looks like a polka-dot bikini bottom. Somebody must equate "cowboy" with Midnight Cowboy.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

What are the black spots on Dean's cake? They look like prunes. And is that supposed to be a bandana? It looks a little off.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Thank you for getting the saying correct, "a bargain at twice the price." It makes me crazy when people say, "It's a bargain at half the price." *Anything* is a bargain at half the price.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBlue

I think they totally nailed the cowboy theme- a bandana and cowpies.....

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

I had to click over to look at the American Girl bakery. Then I laughed at the descriptions. Every item mentioned specified that it was PRETEND, or MAKE BELIEVE, or doll sized, and there were quite a few items included.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterowlmagnet

Well, the cow was there, judging by the cow pats. Sad, sad little cake.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

I use "a bargain at half the price" when I deliberately mean something was *way* overpriced.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDave

A slice of pizza on a background of cow patties? How is this a Cowboy theme?

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

Your American Girl comment made me laugh so hard. I used to look forward to the American Girl catalogs coming in the mail so I could pore over every little detail. I wanted one so bad, but I could read and never even dared to ask for a doll that cost nearly $100 (or however much they were).

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Thank god you specified there was an extra parenthesis. Because I read it as CSF and tried to work out how they'd involved cerebrospinal fluid.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine

Ooooh, a bandana! I thought it was a pair of polka-dot bikini bottoms.with bonus bugs. Very strange.

January 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdeb in atlanta

At least the Christmas one looked nice lol. The rest of these made my head hurt trying to figure out what went wrong in the wreckerators mind. Scary and hilarious.

January 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

The cowboy cake poorly depicts a bandana, I think. But I think the wreckor evidently confused Dali with dally, a cowboy term for the wrap taken around the saddle horn with the tail end of a lariat rope. That bandana has a certain "Persistence of Memory" look about it.

January 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

That's Brokeback Mountain bandana if ever I saw one.

January 12, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterhotclaws

Very Christmassy was nice - decorations and writing.

Even the phrase did work if you read all of it together, even if it's wrong. At least it's a wreck that is savable even with the words added.

AG cake, yeah I agree. My mom got the Samantha doll as a Cheistmas gift from Dad his last Christmas, but would never pay for those expensive accessories.

The cake however is ridiculous. As far as an Addy theme, not sure either, but given Addy is the young African-American girl doll from the Civil War era... This is probably a far better result than what it could've been. (Please don't jab me here - I just have seen too many ethnic wrecks here I just shudder we'd had a far worse wreck.

January 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMelmac

Well, like some of the posters I noticed the VERY neat writing on the "Christmassy" cake - very cool. Oftentimes the writing on the wrecks is worse than the wrecks themselves! Just MHO

The American Girl cake... well, AUCK! It was Barbie for me and no way would have my mom and dad shelled out this much moola for a doll or a "pretend" French bakery or whatever the heck that thing is!

No comment on the cowboy cake - it speaks for itself! MaryO

January 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

I think the last one is supposed to be a bandana oon a spotted cow cake.

January 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSandy in soFla

Clearly my mind went in a very wrong direction on that cowboy cake. I saw a bikini bottom with a yeast infection.

January 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

I understand the "cow pie" part of the decor, but the pizza pie slice???

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Bandana? Oh. I thought it was a uterus. oops!

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRob333

Pizza? I thought it was panties. And rocks.

January 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterQuill7

)


Whew. I wouldn't have been able to leave the page without that being completed!

January 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterClumber

I am laughing so hard that I'm wheezing, crying, and shooting coffee out my nose every time I scroll through these! I love the comments under the cakes!!

March 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHCL

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