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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Aug142015

Friday Favs 8/14/15

Some of my favorite new submissions this week.

 

Because bakeries are running out of ideas, I give you:

John Deere Zombie Chickens!

Also known as, The Clucking Dead.

 

On a scale of 1 to gouging-out-your-own-eyes, how disturbing is this?

Personally, I think it falls somewhere between "Ped Eggs" and toddlers-who-won't-break-eye-contact.
[shudder]

But really, the best part are the buttons. Go on, think about it.

 

Ever heard the expression, "getting sh**-faced?"

'Cuz someone took that WAY too literally:

Ew.

 

Angie wanted to get her friend a cake, but there was a problem: apparently "Happy 50th Birthday, Melissa" wouldn't fit.

But don't worry, the baker was still able to squeeze something out:

So moving.

(Do you suppose the baker was wiped after this? Flushed with success? Ready for the next stream of orders? Hey, where are you going? [HAHA THAT WAS STILL A PUN] Come back! I haven't used my famous "You're in trouble" line yet!)

 

Thanks to Sarah P., Dimitra L., Gina V., & Angie W. for caring enough... to give a crap.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, EPBOT:


« Sunday Sweets For "Tell A Joke" Day | Main | Miss Piggy Goes Speed Dating »

Reader Comments (28)

The first cake looks like a new Angry Birds game.
(Olaffina Singing) "Do ya wanna play with fireworks......?" Seriously, they want someone to pay $42 for *that*?!
So is Wreck #3 the Happy B.M. in the last wreck? Can't tell from the expression.

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjuice

I'm thinking about the buttons. I wish you hadn't asked me to think about the buttons on that horrible mash-up of a wreck.
GREAT puns, by the way! Love to start my day with multiple puns in a row.

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I am now super disturbed at the thought that somebody out there has kept track of how many BMs they've had in their life.

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMissAgatha

Forget gun control, we need a five day waiting period on handing out frosting bags.

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBlackChocobo

MY favorite part of the patriotic cookie cake is Olaf's 5 o'clock shadow. Because nothing says hopped-up drag queen like a lingering beard. Well, and pupils that are of varying sizes. Come to think of it, this may also explain the buttons.

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

Thank you for the early morning laugh. I'm still giggling over "The Clucking Dead".

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMadTigerKitty

In our community, there were John Deere families, and there were International Harvester families. Kind of like the Chevy/Ford thing. These chicks are in the right colors for that feud.

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLee S

Maybe the BM cake is for a potty training toddler? And I don't get the button reference in the snowman cake, but I'm not familiar with that movie. I do know that isn't a beard, but an open mouth.
I'm confused as to why Cookie Monster is wearing glasses, and is also green. Maybe a CM/Minion mash up that combined the blue and the yellow?

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBin

Love the zombie chicens! As for the second cake, I must be one of 10 people on earth who hasn't seen Frozen, but I know who Olaf is...or at least I thought I did. Isn't Olaf a boy? Why, oh why, is he wearing a bow and a bikini over his buttons??? So wrong. However, on a scale of 1-10 as to how disturbing this is, it's like a four in comparison with all of the revolting baby shower cakes on this site.

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

I had to make the Olaf cake bigger to see that it was a bikini, I thought they had frosted two collars, one with a bow tie and one with a regular tie.

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShecan

Although I'm sufficiently traumatized by Olaf in a patriotic bikini (no. Just......no), I will admit that John Deere Zombie Chickens is my Band Name of the Day

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

I can't even....

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Why is Olaf wearing a bikini? Why does he have a bow and eye lashes? I am confused. Is the creature with the green hair supposed to be a minion, I haven't seen "Despicable Me".

And all the puns, I can't stop laughing! Thanks, Jen!

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

I was never much of an Olaf fan but this cake sure adds an extra dimension to his (her?) character! I also like to glue buttons to my torso when wearing a bikini, kinda like a "pasty" but infinitely more confusing! Total conversation starter, right there.

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

The chickens aren't actually bad, just missing their pupils. Plus John Deere colors are green & yellow, not green & orange. So it isn't a bad design, just poor execution of the concept.

The most disturbing thing about the "Olaffina" (thank you, Juice) cookie, besides the 41.99 price tag, is that they put it in the front display window. Seriously, they're really that proud of it? If I went to a bakery & saw that in the window I would just turn around & leave. Well no, on second thought, I wouldn't just leave...I would get my camera & go see what kind of wrecks they had inside, haha! But seeing that displayed as the culmination of their talent would definitely turn me off of buying anything from them.

#3 Looks like an offspring of Oscar the Grouch & a Minion. I don't even want to think about how that might've happened...ew.

The "Happy 50th B M " cake totally has room for "Happy 50th B-Day, Melissa", or at least "Happy 50th B-day". And it has such nicely written script too, what a shame!

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Waitaminute! That minion-type thing is green frosting covered by respectable looking chocolate chip cookies covered by that awful green head with eyes. Whose messin' with perfectly nice-looking chocolate chip cookies? Makes me wonder what is under the green frosting on top. Eeeesh!

But most of all, thanks for the laughs!

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Olaffina is, in the words of a fantastic movie, "just not right." I almost can't even!

Completely OT, I *love* that the Epbot bot has a flip flop on the antennae in your graphic! I've only seen the links in the past few posts, but I for one will keep clicking through, because I like going back and re-reading those posts. And, truly, the graphics you've made for the posts are great! :)

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

So sad. In his later years, Olaf's cross-dressing became even stranger when he put on the bikini OVER the buttoned-up shirt--or whatever garment the buttons are meant to designate.

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

So, a giant cookie is now a cookie *cake*? And it costs $41.99? Here's a clue: buy a tube of cookie dough and roll it out into a circle. Bake that on a cookie sheet (or pizza stone). Throw some frosting on it. Voila. Cookie 'Cake' a.k.a. CC (pffft!).

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

That last one . . . it has so much promise, so much going for it . . . and then came the writing. Why???? WhyyyYYYYyyyy?

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTXRed

HahahahahahahahahahHaha I got hilarious cakes and a HISE reference? This is a great ending to my workweek. Thanks Jen!

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKristin E.

Ok I would totally buy the first for my john deere loving, tractor driving father (bonus he's a walking dead fan, so all bases covered?). Poor snow-dude(tte)'s arm looks to be broke though and fallen, so how's the flag staying up?

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBelblue

I also shudder when toddlers stare at me. So creepy...but I'd say "Olaffina" is creepier!

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLaura C.

Has anyone ever actually *paid* $41.99 for a giant cookie?!

August 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

Ok why is that cookie thing 41.99? Heck it would be cheaper to make it yourself lol. And possibly not frighten children in the process. Wow. That had better be one special chocolate chip cookie receipe.

August 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

John Deere Zombie Chickens are from the same planet as Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys.
In fact, It is the NMBCJ who fight to keep the JDZC from taking over their world. They raise their fists and ride their carrots to war against the fearsome Clucking Dead. It's a powerful, compelling story that will probably become a made for TV movie one day. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you too will raise your fist to the sky!

August 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

I always knew deep down that Olaf was as American as humble pie err cake errr cookie......

August 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersam

About that $41.99 - it could be that it is not in US dollars, otherwise there is no excuse for it.

August 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

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