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What's a Wreck?
A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
- Jen
April 7, 2015;)
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Reader Comments (39)
The next Cake Wrecks book has to have John's cartoons in it for sure!
Champ
Ion
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stolen!
Hahahaha!! Well done, Jon (thoj)! Thanks for those drawings. Those wrecks are truly awful.
I like the first one.
I'm digging the discrepancy between arm lengths :D
Am trying to decide if the last cake is featuring olives or gooseberries. I'm so sad about all of these cakes.
There once was a baker who made
A cake for which he was paid.
But the decorative icing
Was hardly sufficing;
Making customers all very afraid.
That explains so much.....
As Homer Simpson would say...."MMMMMMMMMMMM.....Beer..GGGLLLLLLLL
LLAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH........"
Waffle Cone cake?!?
LOL-LAFO!!!
LOVE it!
john, you old so-and-so...(or is that "sot"?)...I wanted to say "Leave the piping bag.Take the beer.." (I thought #5 might be cannoli, but the photo credit says it's a "smashed ice cream cone", and there's already enough "smashed" going on here...) =^e.e^=
If I were Lisa, I'd be trying to escape too. Is it too early for a Margarita?
As Flo from Progressive says, "Sprinkles are for winners."
A powerful behind the scenes exposé of how wrecks happen.
Thanks John!
Don't drink and pipe.
And I agree with Sandy: next CW book definitely got to have John's cartoons in it.
Yeah...I thought the last cake straight-up had piping tips on it. Did a triple take and realized they are mini champagne bottles as viewed from above.
The icing on that cookie is definitely whipped!
It's a damn shame about that first one, cause the bow is pretty decent.....
I like to think that the 2015 Champ- Ions cookie cake is for a group of Ions who are just killing it this season. They could just be super positive Ions! You don't know! Don't judge!
Although I am wondering what was written before the 2015 was put down. That's the problem with red frosting. It stains.
I knew this was a John post! That picture of the drunk wreckorator throwing sprinkles...spot on.
I love john (thoJ) posts! Every time I sit at my computer at work and do the typical "I can't believe I have to read this" pose, I think of Fu Man Chu john and it makes me giggle.
@drgns4vr - they are miniature bottles. Took me a few looks before I realized it myself as I was also leaning towards the olives explanation.
And I agree with @Sandy - we definitely need Jon's illustrations for the next book!
Unlike the wrecks, this post makes so much sense!
Those little cartoons explain the cakes perfectly! No guessing what was going on in the decorator's mind......you nailed it!!!!!
@ Bigg3469
Explanation of waffle cone cake: At an unknown point in the not-to-distant-past an unknown baker used an ice cream cone & some clever frosting work to decorate a cake to look like a cone of ice cream was on the top of it. This design was soon adapted by others to look like a dropped, melting ice cream cone on top of a cake.
When done well, these cakes are actually pretty good looking. The example shown here of course is the current, degenerated form of the "ice cream cone on a cake" idea, as made by incompetent/lazy (& apparently drunk) grocery-store decorators.
It's that copy-of-a-copy-of-a-copy quality, where each generation of copy is slightly worse than the previous one until the picture is entirely unrecognizable next to the original; one decorator understands what he's trying to make it look like, but makes it poorly, the next decorator just copies the poorly made one with no idea what it's supposed to look like & makes it look worse, the third decorator copies the second's work, but is too lazy to care what it looks like & so forth, until you have the example above.
oh, sure, the LAST one is cute! LOL! I love these cartoons!
That icing on the cookie cake wasn't just whipped, it was beaten to death! It looks as if it was decorated with Silly String. (Please, don't anybody get any smart ideas!)
Loved the URK cake. Classic!
Add my vote those who think John's cartoons should be in the next book.
And @SuBee, it's NEVER too early for a margarita. It's 5 o'clock somewhere!
That urk cake might be trying to look like a fire opal. Some things just weren't meant to be.
XD
What occasion calls for rainbow hairball?
Thank you Jon, for this cautionary tale about the dangers of drinking and decorating. Now will someone please hold my hair while I "hurk"?
I love the waffle cone jammed into a cake lol. At least they got giant sprinkles to go with it. As for happy drunk day at least the flowers were nice lol. Loved the illustrations. Nearly choked laughing so hard.
A rainbow hairball is clearly celebrating someone's beloved cat safely regurgitating the Tom Baker scarf it ate. Personally, I don't order a cake for those occasions; I just clean up the mess and ask the cat, "What is WRONG with you?"
Yes! Another vote for Jon's cartoons to be included in the next book of Wrecks.
haha...LOVED this...thanks for the laughs, I needed them :)
Furball? I thought the dog ate crayons again.
I had to laugh when I saw this post! Being an amateur, I make my cakes in my own kitchen, and there has not been any cake I have made that I have not had at least one liquor drink. I am proud to say that none of my cakes look like they belong on CakeWrecks!
The waffle cone cake -- that 122 is the wreckster's blood alcohol level.
I've been silently chuckling my way through the archives, but this post made it really difficult to not guffaw so loudly that my co-workers could hear.
More please!
@j CatTrampoline--I am owned by a couple of cats, so your post really got me!
John--I loved the cartoons and the progression here. Excellent pacing and I was howling (so much that one of my cats fled in a big hurry).
Keep up the great work!
I swear I've read this "chocolate chunk" on the last wreck's tag as "chocolate drunk"