Monday
Mar232015
"Near-Miss Day" Hits Home
March 23, 2015 It's Near-Miss Day, minions, and I know *just* how to celebrate:
[singsong] With a UNICOOORN!
;)
[head tilt]
Is... is that a beak?
K, icks-nay on the unicorns.
How 'bout a cute butterfly?
;)
Er...
Elephant cupcakes?
;)
Glass of wine? (Please?)
;)
Arg.
C'mon, bakers, it's not like I'm asking for a star performance...
;)
OH COME ON.
Tell ya what, guys, just slap down a few celebratory balloons, and we'll call it a day.
;)
Oooh, festive.
;)
Nope.
;)
NOPE.
;)
Seriously?
;)
AND THAT'S A DAY.
Thanks to Brandi F., Leigh J., Amy H., Michelle, Kerri T., Daniel B., Hilary E., Claire, Eric P., & Joe V. for the farthest "near" misses of the day.
*****
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Reader Comments (44)
Ooooo , how special, a couple of deadly Box Jelly Fish, to wish you a Happy Birthday. Gaaack!
Yeesh. That last one resembles a tampon. Ugh!
#4 Oh look, boob props! You know, you prop them up so you can zip your pants!
Yeah, okay, but that first one you have for balloons is clearly a root vegetable, so that's not entirely fair. I'm not sure I could tell you which one, though. I must not be very familiar with root vegetables...
Can't get past the pierogi dong on the unicorn.
You know, I blame this blog that I always see the dirty images in things.
I guess you could say that first one's a near-miss at a griffin. Either that or a new mythical beast I haven't heard about.
The elephants... Ouch. Glad I'm not the object of their affection.
Emily, I also saw a root vegetable and I say mandrake.
@FluffyCow -- right there witcha
Those last sperm "balloons" were epic!
Also, someone hand those elephants a tissue.
Unigriffins, Space Elephants and ugmo butterflies? Oh my!!
The first balloon one reminds me of when I have to pick up my dog's poop after she's been eating grass. And the unicorn one I saw with a beak, an axe sticking out of its back and ... umm... "steam" coming out of its willy. Lovely.
@Emily: I would say that's either a rainbow carrot or black horseradish. It's not really very clear, but it resembles both of those more than it does a balloon.
Are you sure #1 is not supposed to be a minotaur?
And the last one looks like marshmallows with curly pretzels stuck in them. And the mutant carrots, and... I'm just going to bake my own cake today.
No. 1: Well, there's definitely a projectile in that mess. Not sure I'd want it anywhere near me.
No. 3: We're the elephants and we're HAPPY to see you!
Last cake: I saw salt-and-pepper shakers that stream blood, until I saw @Lady Anne's comment. Now, just gross.
I'm not sure what the penultimate image is supposed to be. Blue flies with white wings?
...are you sure that first balloon one isn't supposed to be a wilted plant in the desert? The resemblance is uncanny.
Wow, those might be the worst "balloons" featured on this site yet -- and that's saying something!
Just slap some individual cookies all together and call it a cookie-cake. #6 is like they didn't even try.
Try the gray stuff, it's delicious! Please beeeeee our guest!
Is #6 a break-n-bake cookie cake, or is that just the way the cookie crumbles?
Happy Black Carrot Day!
that last cake..plucked eyeballs. :D
Can I just say I saw Quidditch hoops? Hufflepuff, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.
Am I the only one who sees #8 (the colorful "balloons") as squidward heads with lizard tongues?
I stared at that uni-something for a long time. I kept seeing an old lady's head on a horse body.
The last one is clearly jelly fish. So now I have the Dead Milkmen song going through my head: "Jellyfish Heaven/is full of dead jellyfish." A classic.
Those iced cupcake designs are always so awful. Why do bakeries insist upon making them?
Last cake: They're clearly wishing a happy birthday to those two Ood.
Hahah, that cookie cake with the poop grass balloons... it looks TERRIBLE! Were they even trying to make it look at least acceptable? I don't even know how they think they can sell that. LOL! And those elephants on the cupcakes... obviously look like something else.
I see a man's face in the unicorn mess. You know, like that picture where you see a tree but if you look at it long enough it turns into a person?
My poor sleep deprived brain just can't handle it. The almost 5 week old dictator in my house had a rough night.
Hey the first one to capture viewer pain with bleeding eyeballs? The box jellies mentioned in the first cmt works too.
Primary colored Quidditch hoops, perhaps?
Looks like a fat horse singing.... So many fails!!!
Lol oh man so many cakes to laugh at. Hysterically. Especially the unicorn with a beak. Holy cow what did the wreckerators drink before attempting any of these cakes?
Hufflepuff, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw - does that mean No. 1 is the love child of all three? The "butterfly" reminds me of those tie dye-ish tissue paper art projects we did in sixth grade.
Oh come on; the unicorn was fine.
Is that last one a pair of eyeless Ood?
Feeling for you, Jodee, but it'll pass. Honest. Meanwhile, keep taking the Cake Wrecks.
Does anyone else see George Frideric Handel's head on a horse body with hoop earings, Jem hair, and a pickaxe in his forehead? I choose to believe that white mass to be a poorly placed piano.
I had an elephant themed baby shower. And I was so worried that something like those cupcakes would be given to me. Glad my bff decided on just plain colors with fondant silhouette
Is anyone else just impressed that the third balloon cake actually spelled Graduation correctly?
What's even worse about the brown balloons with the grass growing out of it, it looks like they cramped a bunch of individual cookies together to form one large cookie cake. Its like they ran to the grocery store in need of cookie dough but could only find sheets of the precut dough and just haphazardly built a cake out of it.
I think I've seen those brown balloons before. Oh, right, if I look down while at the urinal. Not sure about the green streaks, but I bet they make a pill for that.
Anybody else see eyeballs that have been ripped from someone's skull, optic nerves akimbo, for that last one? No? Just me then? Okay.
That second to last one is from a Hy-Vee store. I'd recognize that sticker anywhere. I'm laughing so hard.