Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Feb022015

So, Where Ya Want It?

It's always important to tell your baker where you want the writing on your cake, lest you end up with one of these situations:

"Really, it's the only place that just made sense."

 

So, for instance, if you ask a baker to "write Happy Birthday on top," you might get this:

 

...but you could ALSO get this:

Which is hilarious.
But still wrong.

 

So try to be specific! Use words like "in the middle" to avoid confusion.

See how much clearer that is?

 

And you can't go wrong with directions like "over this" and "under that," right?

I mean, when has that ever caused a problem?

 

Oh! And if you're ordering a specific cake kit design, just use that as a reference.

It does help if your baker knows what an "outfield" is.

 

Um...

They... they just moved the hat.

Huh.

This is going to be harder than I thought.

 

Well, dear minions, in the end you'll just have to trust that most of your inscription will probably end up on the cake somewhere.

And then you can always send it to me.

:D

 

Thanks to Emily H., Sarah G., Kate L., Keren S., Tiffany B., Kellie, Mandy P., & Kristen Z., from the bottom of my post.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« The Top Super Bowel 2015 Fumbles | Main | Groundhog Day Gets Even Sweeter »

Reader Comments (27)

Personally, I always enjoy a celebration that's in the middle: Not too dull, not over the top - just moderately festive.

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

WHAT DOES cake # SAY??? CongR2tSGrad????? …and this is the inscription protected under a plastic flotsam shield?!

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Thanks for the needed giggles on a crappy winter in ny

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I love how the baseball cake's wreckorator used chewed gum for the bases. Classy AND delicious.

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKW

Well, maybe Josh's cake is correct because he's young and he still has to write the rest of his life story.

No?

What is that plop of goo in the middle of the last cake? I'm assuming from the decorations that it's a carrot cake. But is that caramel on top? Why would you put it there if you're going to write on the cake?

I just. . . .SMH. . . . .Sigh. . . .


Happy Monday, everyone! Stay warm and safe!

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Why does the last cake say Happy Birthday in wasabi paste? I'm fairly certain that's cream cheese frosting and not rice, then again, those green squares COULD be nori..... :-/

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

Scene: a bakery. Zelda enters behind the counter.

Manager: [aside] Thank goodness, Zelda's here! She's the only one who can pipe decent lettering. [to Zelda] Glad you're here! We've been hard at work, and we've got a few cakes that need your finishing touch. [hands baseball cake to Zelda and exits]

Zelda: OK, let's see what we've got here. [Sets cake on work surface.] OK, a baseball cake.... [Reads instructions aloud.] In the outfield, "Scheels." Hmm... the outfield... so, let's see if I can match the fielder's jerseys. Yeah, that color should do it -- not a perfect match, but it's close. Alright, so, "Scheels," in the outfield. Um... aw, shoot! Boss!

Manager: [from offstage] There some problem, Zelda?

Zelda: There's no outfield on this cake! I can't put the writing in the outfield if there's no outfield!

Manager: [walks in, looks at cake] Hmmph. Say, what if you write it like it was the announcer? Y'know? "Now pitching, Fernandez. In the outfield, Scheels."

Zelda: [looks askance at Manager] I don't know... [Manager walks out.] Well, I guess it's as good an idea as anything. [Pipes letters, looks at handiwork.] It still bothers me. That's not the outfield! I know! [Pipes quotes around "outfield."] Well, it'll do, I guess. [Boxes cake.]

[Customer enters.]

Customer: I'm here to pick up my baseball cake.

Zelda: Perfect timing! I just finished it.[Hands boxed cake over counter to Customer.]

Customer: [Looks at cake.] It was supposed to say, "Utfield Schools"!

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie J

Hilary's cake was pretty close to being another "Under Neat that..." masterpiece. Hmmm...I wonder if the "original" wreckorator is still at it? If it'd been me, I think all of the notoriety would have gone to my head (like an ice cream headache). =^-.-^=

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@KW: lol, i didn't see that until i read your comment and i had to scroll back up lol

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterA Mystery

(⌒▽⌒)

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Grapes on Cakes. Yum.

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCCake

@KW - OMG I did not even notice the nastiness of the bases. Just 0.o

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPamtha

At least Josh's cake actually says "Happy Birthday" instead of "H.B."?

I know, I'm grasping at straws, here.

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

#4 needs tiny plastic mohawk-baby jockeys.

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterdsw

Cake #2 isn't a wreck; it's his birthday, so of course Jeremy gets to be on top! *wink winky wink*

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Maybe Jeremy's birthday cake is supposed to include a "special invitation?" -- nudge nudge, wink wink!

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSBC

Don't get your hopes up, Jeremy. Once a bottom, always a bottom.

I thought that one cake said "Under Flat Hilary." [Insert inappropriate political joke here.]

2oll where hat would be. I'm pretty sure some secret government organization is using CakeWrecks to communicate covert messages. And I've just blown their cover. Sorry, unless you're the bad guys in which case GOOD!

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

What was the baseball cake supposed to be?

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered Commentercarsch

Did some poor wreckerator actually use baby poop on that carrot cake?

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRay

Am I the only one who doesn't know what "In the 'Outfield' Scheel" means? Seriously, what is a scheel?

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLmbolea

Thank you @Lmbolea! I was beginning to feel very alone with my ignorance of scheels.

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

I'll start walking your way
You start walking mine
We'll meet in the middle
'neath that old Georgia Pine

February 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTDG

Oh geez lol. At least the roses looked nice. Other than that I can't stop laughing at some of these. I still wonder if half of that bakery gets drunk then decorates cakes.

February 3, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

So, I just showed my husband todays post and all he said was "Wow, just wow. It's not that hard.". This site always makes me smile, laugh, cry with laughter, gag or sit there stunned. Thanks Jen and " husband of Jen".

February 3, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJulia S

These illustrate one of the many reasons why I NEVER buy bakery cakes and ALWAYS make my own. In fact, the only cake I ever bought was for my wedding, 36 years ago tomorrow. It was from a grocery store. There was no book of designs from which to choose. I gave verbal instructions. The cake was done on time, it was beautiful and it tasted good (for a bakery cake). Go figure.

February 3, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

The Happy Birthday Josh cake is what the person who ordered the cake wanted because they are decorating it themselves. This is common with the company this cake was ordered and purchased from.

February 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSadie B

I don't understand #5. AT ALL.

February 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>