Valentine's "Winners"
February 11, 2015 Hey, Saturday is Valentine's Day!! May the sugar-coated cuteness and commercially-driven materialistic declarations of affection begin!
Just don't get your cutie-patootie any of these:
;)
Sure, it looks like an internal organ: just not the right one.
These could lead to a lot of fun "what's that supposed to mean?" conversations:
;)
Uh, your love kills me?
;)
You make my heart unravel?
And this one is a bit desperate for my taste:
;)
Here's a great one to give your SO in mixed company:
;)
I don't know about you guys, but when I refer to myself in the third person in conversations with John (which is especially fun at parties), I usually prefer the designations "baby" and "your lover".
"Baby, your lover would like you to take the trash out."
"Baby, your lover is going to the store."
"Baby, your lover gets the not-so-subtle hint from your Valentine's present..."
;)
;)
"...but your lover has a headache." (cue "Broken Arrow" by Rod Stewart)
Now, these cake/cookie things may suffer from the whole bum-crack affliction:
;)
...but they still look way more appetizing than these:
;)
Hey, it's the ABC gum cake!
(For those of you who don't remember kindergarten, ABC = "Already Been Chewed".)
Gabrielle H., Maya C., Anne M., Kandace H., Michael H., & Ben O., John's lover thanks you.
*****
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Reader Comments (21)
Are they even thinking about hearts, or organs that are a bit more south.....
So much wrongness in one post. Brilliant, John's lover!
"ABC" I remember that! Thanks Jen, errr, I mean "John's Lover", great post once again.
Wreck #6 (aka Rod Stewart's Broken Arrow) looks more like a uterus than a heart...but I do suppose that COULD be romantic. Not to me, but to someone....
The go to the store cake looks like a uterus and fallopian tubes. Having arrows on them just makes this mess that much worse.
Maybe the second cake is for a cardiologist? Or a fitness trainer? I dunno.
I was thinking the decorations on the last two look more like lungs than anything. "You take my breath away"?
miss_paper: "Uterus + ovaries" was my immediate impression as well.
Cake one is from a new line of specialty Valentine cakes featuring non-traditional organs. Others in the series feature the appropriate organ cake and the following sentiments:
I live, but without you, I am not a happy liver.
I breathe your love in and out with every breath…shall I draw you a diaphragm?
Do I love ye? Yes, I kidney not.
Your heart sings of its love for me and I give your anthem a standing ovary.
I bow to your beauty and I am prostate before you.
My love for you is unique…there is a vas deferens between it and any other.
To gain your immortal love I would go through the Ten Testes of Hercules for you!
This may sound cornea, but I’ve got my eye on you….
(And for old-fashioned finger cakes, either “Make no bones about it…I love you!” or the ever popular Valentine pick-up line, “Wanna come back to my joint?”)
I notice No. 4 has "whipped icing" are you preparing us for the release of the film of "50 shades of beige" this weekend?
I'm not seeing it being "ABC" but more "ABD&D" (Already Been Chewed & Digested)
Oh... Love is in the air!!
Must be really windy because it got destroyed along the way.
Excellent, mel. Excellent.
And also to John's Lover.
@mel: Oh how I do liver your punnishments!
...am I the only person on the planet that thinks that the whole 50 Shades is getting just a bit ridiculous....what about The Story of O?; The Marquis deSade? or even...Larry Flynt? I mean seriously, it's like the whole world JUST NOW discovered BDSM...don't they know it's been around for a LOT longer than E.L. James has been writing? I guess my cynicism is showing...the 80s was a crazy time...at least I think it was...I barely remember it so it must have been GREAT!
.Oh, mel. How do I love thee? Let me count my grays...
Oh @mel... I think I hurt myself trying not to laugh and bring unwanted attention to myself. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
I'm going to share "Do I love ye? Yes, I kidney not." with my girl with one bum kidney. She'll appreciate it! Heck, maybe the laughter will bring on that baby!
I think the second one is supposed to be Two Hearts Beat As One.
Because I love you, I got you a CCC liver with an arrow iced through it! At least they didn’t make it liver-coloured!
@Maureen S: thanks; I had fun….
@VaBeach alemaP: I appreciate that! As for the rest of your comment, timing is everything. The works you cited were considered “underground,” and, frankly, for their time, pornographic. Although as you point out, these activities were not necessarily uncommon but rather were unspoken. The Story of O was published here (USA) by the Olympia Press, which published a lot of classical erotica, and was no stranger to legal battles about their books. Much changed during the 1960’s – the “Hippie” and “Free Love” movements, combined with a changing moral atmosphere, or, some might say, created a changing moral climate, featured a lot more openly available sexually explicit material, from Al Goldstein’s “Screw” magazine (which really was a tabloid newspaper) to Larry Flint (also no stranger to the legal system) and beyond. Today there is much “erotica” available, and much of it is between the covers of what passes as Romance novels. However, BDSM, I think, has always had a bit of mystery about it. I think that given the ever-increasing openness about erotica – like it or not – and the prep-work done by the ever-increasing erotic romance novels, E.L. James just happened to come along at the right time, when there was a greater receptiveness to reading about BDSM. (Yes, I majored in English, and was in college during the 60’s.)
@SuBee: thank you…would there be fifty shades, by any chance…..?
@Jodee: Oh, dear! I’m so glad you didn’t hurt yourself! Usually my puns do not get laughter, but rather groins…. But, you’re welcome. And, here’s hoping laughter brings the baby!
@mel: Good to see you again! I have missed your de-livery of painful puns, and very much appreciate the ones posted here. Let me give you a hand!
@TLC: thanks for your kind comment. I'm slowing down a bit and busier at the same time, if that makes any sense....but I'm still around!
Lol. At least they are not happy vd cakes so far. Though just thinking about the abc cake makes me want to gag. Bleh. Horrifying yet hilarious as always.
That second one from the bottom looks like it is decorated with chicken breasts. But I guess to someone that would make sense!