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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Nov112015

Them's Fightin' Wrecks

It's Veterans' Day, and once again our nation's bakeries have prepared only the best for those brave men and woman who've served our country in the armed forces.

Right, bakers?

 

Uh...

Guys?

 

What the... ?

 

Well, that about sums it up.

Happy Veteran's Day, everyone. I recommend the pie.

 

Thanks to Denise D., Martine A., Diana B., & Sarah L. for tracking down the source of that hissing sound.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (38)

#3? What....? I don't....? Sometimes you just have to quote "Princess Bride": "Dear God - what is that THING?!??!??!"

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Is that supposed to be the liberty bell?

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered Commentererin

So pathetic, our veterans deserve so much better. Still tastier than a MRE :P

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I *think* the third one down is supposed to be the Liberty Bell - as done by somebody who never saw it.

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Lady Liberty looks like a llama. Maybe it's Kuzco from Emperors New Groove.

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

Every pet owner knows that the first one shows what happens when Petie the Patriotic Pooch eats a flag...

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMedith

I kind of love the Ice-Cream-Cone-Face Ogre! What's the third cake supposed to be? Sunburned George Washington?

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShay

Well...I hate to be a know-it-all but that 3rd one is obviously the second choice for our country's flag, theVictorious Dolphin Over Raw Steak. All stand!

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

So glad to see Slimer from Ghostbusters is a patriot!

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

Urrrgghhh - I was eating breakfast (note to self: bad idea). So the next Minions movie is a tribute to the Statue of Liberty, huh? I like how there was a ring next to the, er, cake to identify it. Is the third one supposed to be the Liberty Bell? Number 4? "U" gotta be kidding me!

Looking forward to SueB's take on these creations.

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjuice

I think the third one is supposed to be the Liberty Bell.

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I did not see the Liberty Bell. I saw a rough shape of our country - with Canada included - and the Mississippi River ending somewhere in New Mexico. The Liberty Bell makes a *tiny bit* more sense. But I concur with Maureen: Dear God - what is that THING?!

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

Thank goodness for things that you stick in things that represent what the thing is that the thing was stuck in so we can really know "what is that thing?"

To all our Veterans and their families and friends: THANK YOU

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermsanthrope

I think the third one is supposed to be the USA, seen from the side - Florida is circled, the line in the middle is the Mississippi River, and the West Coast was finally sheared off by the San Andreas fault and is now slightly under water.

"Lady" Liberty looks like a rabbit and the torch is looking more and more like a carrot...with rocket boosters. Bugs Bunny was pretty patriotic back in the day, right?

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAllegra

Third one from the top - the wreckerator was in trouble when s/he stood there facing the unfrosted cupcakes. "I know, I'll make the Liberty Bell!" Just ... don't.

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

The cookie cake has one U and read vertically, USA, USA, USA, etc.

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

#1: Apparently no one told the wrecker at or these colors don't run

#2: It's the wrong season for an Easter cake

#3: CCCS aren't all they're cracked up to be

#4: Someone needs to rein in those snakes before the colors start running...oops too late.

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterIndigo

Oh, I thought the third one is supposed to be the 48 contiguous states. Really badly done.

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

If you see me stand for cake #1, I'm not being patriotic. Just bring me a bucket.

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

That cookie wreck made me ruin my makeup. Every time I came up for air I saw a$$ again. What were those wreckorators thinking?

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

#2- Did Shrek go to work as a curbside traffic greeter for Liberty Tax? That sure looks like one of their foam crowns....

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

A llama???

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBetty Martin

My son went to Nathan Hale High School. One of the school emblems was a stylized silhouette of a patriot guy in a tricorn hat, in blue, white and red. So that's what I thought #3 was, a view of Nathan Hale from the side, done in patriotic colors, with that downward dangly bit being his neck and the blue his hat.

Beyond which comment regarding his neck I am not prepared to go.

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNanalettie

What a..... FUBAR... and if you know military acronyms... *badword* up beyond all recognition.. or some such.
They are all unmitigated disasters!!

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuzie D

Anyone else see Grumpy Cat masquerading as the Statue of Liberty in wreck #2?

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLizzy

I seriously can't be the only one who tried to make extra words out of the pile o' letters on the last one. I've got "SASS," "SUSS," "ASS," "Sss," and "AAAAA!" I WIN BOGGLE!

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMer

Is it just me or does the second one resemble Grumpy Cat dressed as The Statue of Liberty?

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Obviously not for Veteran's Day, but I can think of a few recipients for that cookie cake.

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

Personally, I think that statue of Liberty is a chipmunk. No normal human has those bug eyes and a cute little button nose.

And I agree with Mer - Cakewrecks Boggle should be a thing. "Make some variation of the word 'Birthday' using only the letters on this birthday cake. Yes, we are aware that there is no letter B. Deal with it."

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMoe

Why does Lady Liberty look like an orc eating a green carrot? Or smoking one?

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

Re: #1 I'm with Medith--Probable Petey the Patriotic Pooch pie. Poor Petey. (Ptui!!)

#2 It's no wnder Lady Liberty is green. Not only is her face being burned--in an attempt to extract state secrets, no doubt--but, from the look of her eyes, someone also appears to be attempting to examine her putative prostate. (Try Petey instead.)

#3 That is the worst representation of the shape of Maine I've ever seen. Balanced on an egg. Wearing the toque that Canada knitted for it last winter. (O Canada! You shouldn't have, but thanks!)

#4 I was enjoying the post in a quiet and civilized manner, riiiiigghhtt up to cake #4. I continued to enjoy the post, but in a significantly less quiet and possibly less civilized manner. Someone told the wreckorator to "pipe the letters 'U,' 'S,' and 'A'" on the cookie, but forgot to add "preferably in that order." Either that, or the wreckorator is from a European country (the name of which I shall omit), the citizens of which have a low opinion of *our* citizens' manners. Either way, I think I woke the neighbors. And maybe peed a little.

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

All I can see in #3 is Marvin the Martian's helmet in Fourth of July colors...

To any veterans who may see this, thank you for your service, and may your day be far less wrecky than these cakes!

November 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Dear Wreckers,
You live in probably *the* EASIEST country to spell in the whole world. Seriously, even easier than Chad. Please, please, do it the dignity of being spelled correctly! It's just three letters. No, you don't need 5 of any of them. There are just three. Even if you're severely dyslexic, there's only 6 combinations you can put them in, surely you can nail a one-in-six chance?

Look, you got it right once, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING on the rest of that cookie?
And don't get me started on the whole "cookie cake" business. People are dying in the service of your nation, the least you can do is not add to the casualties.
<rolls eyes>
Hopeless.

November 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAA

My birthday is on Veteran's Day. I announced I was not having cake this year, so my husband bought me cheesecake instead. It did not look like any of these wrecks. I was thrilled.

November 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Oh man if anyone in the service saw these the wreckerators would be run out of town. What a mess lol.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Okay, I think I've got the third one; it's a gangrenous foot, a catastrophic infection followed by tissue necrosis after a terrible IED injury, and the one remaining toe is just hanging on, but it's worth trying to save the big toe if it's at all possible because it will make rehab to walking just that little bit easier...

Uh, no, actually, I got nothing.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterdr handle

I think the baker printed out the Liberty Mutual Insurance Company logo for the "accent piece" on the Lady Liberty cake.

November 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNiki

it's the thought that counts? or something.

November 16, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

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