Star Wars: The Cakey Farce Awakens
October 26, 2015 Say it with me, kids: I've got a baaaaad feeling about this.
Have you been watching all the previews, twittered sneak-peeks, and snazzy promo pics coming out for the new Star Wars movie?
GOOD!
Because I'm going to recap the best stuff for you.
First of all... NEW MILLENIUM FAAAAAALCOOOOON!
;)
I hear it's more aerodynamic this way.
("She may not look like much... but we also have ice cream.")
You've probably seen the new Storm Trooper helmets. So sleek and modern!
;)
Not to mention happy-looking.
There's a lot of buzz around the new "fun-size" light sabers. Here's one turned on:
;)
It's got a real "Jedi Master" vibe.
Aaand after its cooled off:
;)
Actually, I hear they don't perform too well in the cold.
(Take note, padawans.)
The good news is Disney has spared no expense on special effects:
;)
...and they're bringing in some awesome new lady characters!
;)
Musical numbers to include:
A Whole New World (To Replace Alderaan)
Beauty and the BB-8
Vader Knows Best
Do You Want To Build An Intergalactic Senate
and
Some Day My Midi-Chlorians Will Come
The trailers haven't told us much about the new movie's story line, but I DID learn a beloved old friend will be making an appearance... as a new enemy.
That's right, my friends.
Get ready...
To face...
Darth Wicket.
;)
"YUB YUB, B*TCHES"
Thanks to our own scruffy-looking nerf-herders Mad G., Carri C., Melanie V., Jennifer V., Anony M., Angela H., Elissa D., & Monica G. And remember:
;)
(You can read the story behind this one here.)
*****
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
Reader Comments (33)
Apparently the music makers in my head are working overtime today, because each one of these inspired a different song. The Star Trek, uh, Wars cake incited Bill Murray singing, "Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars..."
The princess half-inflated death beach ball cake initiated the ubiquitous losing contestant, "Wah, wah, waaaaahhhh," and then the Price is Right contestant went over the actual retail price music, which I could never use words to approximate.
Very funny captions, as always, Jen.
That Millenium Falcon was looking good, until they added the extra schlong.
I must be a weak-minded fool: these ARE the cakes I'm looking for! LOL!
Hehe... Cake farce. Don't google it.
Can we PLEASE talk about the deflated football Death Star?! Darth looks like he's folding it up like an air mattress...
Most excellent. You made my day..again!
That extra...um..."appendage" on the Falcon isn't Jewish. As for the cakes with the vibrators...er...sabers on them, who do the wreckerators think they're kidding by the acci-DENT-al placements?
Conversely, have I just been reading CW for too many years?
Jen and john Yates had a site
E I E I O
And on this site, they had some cakes
E I E I O
With a wang wang here, a wang wang there.
Here a wang! There a wang! Everywhere a wang wang!
C'mon, kids! Sing along!
That first cake looks like the Millenium Falcon had a hideous love child by way of a coconut crab. Curse you, coconut crabs. First Amelia Earhart, now this. HAVE YOU NO SHAME?
Love the new Millennium Squid.
I got to the first light saber cake and thought, "What's wrong with that? That looks pretty good." Then...I saw the tip. Oh.
Love love love the Vader/Disney Princess cake. What Vader doesn't know is that those princesses are about to kick his butt!!
And the Star Trek cum Star Wars cake? What the hell??!!! Geez baker, phone it in much?!! The only way I'd give this baker some slack is if the bakery closed at 6:00 and some frenzied parent came in at 5:58 demanding a Star Wars cake NOW because they forgot their kid's b-day was today and they need a Star Wars cake NOW and all that was made was the Star Trek cake. The poor Star Wars fan kid still gets the shaft, but I wouldn't blame the baker.
If Vader knows what's good for him, he will give those princesses back their light sabers. Otherwise, might be some serious trouble!
The Disney Princess/Darth Vader mash-up would have been pretty cool if the Death Star hadn't deflated.
I kinda dig the princess cake, but the Falcon just makes me cry.
So...the Darth Vader VS Princesses cake reminds me of an old book, Flight to the Mushroom Planet....
Oh hai, Darth Vader! Look, don't worry about it, hah?
Laughed a LOT harder than I should at the lightsaber cakes.
I can't be too hard on the Star
TrekWars cake, JJ Abrams has crossed the streams, and there's no going back.The first one gives away a HUGE plot spoiler about Cthulu and Mr. & Mrs. Solo.
So we're just going to ignore the ugliest Ewok ever rendered? Beaver teeth, fugly eyes, tree trunk legs, and a processed american cheese single as a poncho. Poor thing. It looks like they started out doing ok, but we all know the devil is in the details. (The wreckiest of wrecks is still better than anything I could do)
My favorite part of Star Wars is the Enterprise!
As for that last one, since I'm more of a Trekkie, I would rather have one of Spock saying "Live Long and Prosper. Or don't. It's your life and it's not like I really care one way or another anyway."
Other than the horrific Death Star (at least that's what I assume it is), I'm kind of loving that Vader and Princesses cake. "Behold your new Master!" :D
Aside from the fact that Tom Brady appears to have gotten hold of the Death Star, I like the Disney Princess/Darth Vader mashup.
I love the way they took Star Trek and wrote WARS over part of it.
Would that Darth and the princesses cake be another one for Sarah? As in http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2011/6/24/darths-greatest-hits.html
The weilder of at least one of those light-sabers is left-handed.
I think the first one came out of my kitchen utensil drawer. It's either a parmesan grater or a jar opener. Neither one flew very well when I threw them.
CAN'T. STOP. LAUGHING. Oh my goodness, I lost it at the first "fun size light saber", and it just got progressively worse (or better- I was laughing even louder)... then Zippy comes up with the "...is not...Jewish" and then Lizzy saying Brady had gotten hold of the Death Star... Oh man, those sent me into peals of uncontrollable glee with tears streaming down my face. I vote this the BEST POST OF 2015...
Good thing I didn't come to CW until AFTER work today, I would have been laughing hysterically at work...only laughing is frowned upon in the cubicle jungle, and a hearty guffaw will elicit not only glares but sotto voce commentary as well... I love this place!
Cannot stop laughing. Oh man that fun size lightsaber is hilarious! As is the Star Wars/Trek mash up lmao. Oh such fun the wreckerators are having.
Happy Birthday, Sarah!
WHO thought it was a good idea to surround those "light sabers" with cream???
Yeah, um, I'm pretty sure my daughter would actually ASK FOR the Vader/Princesses cake.
No one? Really? I guess I'll do it myself...
"You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let's see how well you handle it."
Someone please tell me the suspicious indentation on the first light saber cake was an addition by the photo-taker! Why, oh why, would the baker add that?!
# 1 looks like the head of a 'droid a Pak'ma'ra (from Babylon 5) might build. . .