Happy(?) Divorce Day!
January 5, 2015 Note: NSFW Naughtiness Ahead. You have been warned!
Oh yeah. And blood.
Like, a surprising amount of blood.
Did I mention the blood?
It's National Divorce Day, my friends, and - oh yes - WE HAVE CAKES FOR THAT.
;)
"Frying pans - who knew, right?"
;)
;)
I wrote a dirty joke here, then remembered my parents read this blog. So just let your imagination do the walking, sitting, etc. Also, HI MOM & DAD!
;)
Thanks for censoring that, John.
;)
;)
;)
Uh, I think I'm sensing a trend here, ladies...
;)
OH THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.
And remember, girls, sometimes a divorce cake can backfire. Like when Lindsy's friends ordered one with a swimming fish that read, "She finally got away!"
;)
OOPSIE.
Thanks to Greg F., Anony M., Tori L., Jennifer S., Katherine, Laura K., Emily R., & Lindsy F. for the bait and switch.
*****
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Reader Comments (75)
I could have done with that second cake twenty years ago! Brilliant!
Sorry. This post was TOO sick to be even remotely funny today.
8th cake (woodchipper): That made me think of Fargo (1996). Great movie!
The first one is confusing to me; why would the one old woman need that much food if she's alone now? Maybe she's having the grandchildren over for leggs and sausage? =^-.-^=
Okay, the last one was funny, the second one sort of. The others are disturbing but #s 5, 6, 7 & 8 are just downright violent. I can't imagine that anyone would want to display those cakes, but that's just me.
I sense a wee bit of hostility here. Or am I reading into these too much? They're so subtle, it's hard to tell.
"Aimee Happy Divorce from the Big " ... rocket ship taking off? Yeah, that's totally what it is!
[Editor's note- Ha! Yeah. That's totally what I was going for. On another note, censoring is so weird here in 'Murica. "Is that a penis? Scandal! Oh my, the f word! Mine delicate eyes! Guy in a woodchipper? Cool. -john (the censorer of penises)]
While well made, some of these are a wee bit over the top... :/
Some of those seemed a bit too bitter for my taste. A glass of wine and a a box of chocolates would be better support than some of those cakes.
What about divorce from the man's point of view? Not all divorces are due to him being a cretin. Sometimes she's a total be-otch.
I hate to sound uptight but this is the first CW post I've ever seen that I just didn't find funny at all. I don't mind the idea of a divorce cake in and of itself even though it's not something I'd do personally (#2, #4, and the last one are kind of cute) but the bloody ones are very off-putting. I don't think it's funny to joke about putting somebody in a wood chipper or beating them bloody with a baseball bat. Imagine if the men and women switched places on the cakes so that the men were killing or beating up the women. I'm pretty sure most people wouldn't find that funny so I don't think it should be okay just because the women are the aggressors here.
Go, little fish! Swim as fast as you can!!
If she were alive Tammy Wynette could write a heart wrenching country song based on these cakes but since she's not, I'll settle for this:
These little cakes are such a mess. They really should be banned
The anger and the violence I just don’t understand
I C-R-Y then I’M W-R-E-T-C-H-ING
‘Cause just looking at these awful cakes
Is a pretty awful thing
Their D-I-V-O-R-C-E; becomes final today
There’s no need to get a cake that’s bleeding in this way
The gore, the blood and vitriol’s pure H-E double L for m e
Oh, I wish that I could stop this D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
Hi, Jen's Mom and Dad!
=^-.-^= HAPPY 1/5/15. everyone! =^-.-^=
I love how if a decoration is supposed to be something else and just strongly resembles a penis it's fine, but if it's actually a penis you get to censor it (with a more stylized penis).
Having been through a divorce, those cakes pretty accurately represent how I felt toward my ex at times! Better to put it on a cake, than act it out, eh?
SV pretty much said what I was going to say. Ugh. Domestic violence played for laughs isn't my thing, though I certainly understand why a person would be furious when a relationship goes off the rails. I don't like any of those marriage toppers where the bride is physically dragging the groom into matrimony, either. People think that stuff's edgy, but it's actually been a form of weak humor since the dawn of time. (The deranged woman hitting some poor man with a frying pan was already old hat in the days of Henny Youngman or the Maggie & Jiggs cartoons, c1920.) I really wish this school of humor could be retired. :/
For a possible alternative to bloody/gory resolutions, there's always the old Saffire song, B*tch with a Bad Attitude. NSFW link here.
Okay the last one...You say it was suppose to say She? Well I personally think it probably did, because it looks like someone scraped off the S. I would say it would be the customer after purchase to get on this site. For shame!
I admit I love the meat grinder one. I am an awful, awful person. :p
Ugh, so much blood. I'm not a vampire, so I wouldn't find most of these cakes attractive. I liked cake #2 and #4, though! The last one would have been perfect for my brothers LOL!
A lot of people are complaining about the bloody cakes having been posted because they're gory and trivialize domestic abuse. I mean, isn't that kind of what makes them wrecks? Especially since, from an objective stand point, they're actually really well done. Isn't the horrible subject matter precisely what makes the cakes worthy of being called wrecks?
Cake Wrecks is one of my favorites sites and I always start my day with an espresso and a hearty laugh at the wrecky baked goods and hilarious commentary.
But, yeah, I agree with the other posters - this isn't funny. If these were images of a man beating a woman with a baseball bat, I doubt anyone would laugh and think it's cute.
Um... yeah. So... Nice use of Tangled and Galaxy Quest quotes, Jen!!
I'm amazed that the decorators are finding appropriate bride and groom figurines for the cake toppers in these heinous situations. Maybe they're altering ones for "funny" wedding cakes, but unless ordinary brides and grooms are posable dolls, they're getting them from somewhere! Good gracious!
Another person in agreement with SV. Those cakes just cross the line.
These cakes are well made, if not very tasteful. It is an interesting social commentary as well, just like the bride dragging the groom to the altar that one of the commenters mentioned.
Is it a double-standard, or is it the fact that cakes are usually ordered for/made for the woman, so it shows her point of view? Interesting questions to ponder... when I'm not at work!
Well, I am really depressed and stressed out right now, and this is the first thing that's made me laugh in many days.
I got divorced 15+ years ago -- and now I'm thinking "Damn! Knew I should have asked for the chipper-shredder!" You'd think things would be put to rest by now, but no. He still owes me nearly $6,000 from the child support lawsuit he filed 3 years ago and LOST. But I have to wait til his attorney, who has been convicted of felony securities fraud, goes to prison and loses his law license in April. Then he won't have free representation anymore, and I will have some leverage.
Oh, and of all the disasters that have happened in the past two months (and there have been plenty!), my car was totaled in an accident, and my son's car died on New Year's Eve after we spent $4,000+ on repairs in December. And no, his father isn't helping with any of this. And hasn't supported his son for the past 8 years.
So pardon me if I laugh and find this funny. A lot of times, it doesn't end with the divorce. As Karen said, better to put it on a cake than act it out!
I must say that not only are these cakes done well, but I find them funny...AND I've been the victim of domestic abuse. When you've been married to someone horrible, you don't have kind thoughts regarding them (most of the time). To me, these cakes don't depict what they'd actually like to do to their former spouse, but more how they feel about the entire situation.
TLC: Sending you some virtual TLC. I hope your 2015 is vastly better than last year.
Personally, I LOVED them :)
Take them in good fun - sometimes it's a HUGE relief to get divorced!
Yikes, some people need to learn to take a joke. I go to Cake Wrecks for over-the-top bad cakes, and that's exactly what it is today. Just something to make you laugh and go, "Oh that's horrible." Jen never once endorsed divorce or domestic violence, so stop with the negative comments already.
I thought these were funny, and well done cakes for the topic. Don't let these guys rake you over the coals too hard, Jen! Love the site, makes me laugh every time I'm here :)
It's a good thing that they divorced and channeled the hostility into cakes. Otherwise there would be media posts of a whole different kind!
Gosh wish i'd known 1/5 was National Divorce Day - would have been an excellent sign to NOT get married to the person i'm currently trying to get divorced from (as it is also his birthday)
the wood chipper cake made me laugh (sorry if that offends). It made me think not only of Fargo, but also of Supernatural.. and I couldn't help thinking how well they had done the .. red part. The spatter on the 5th cake was done really well also.
I agree with some of the sentiments regarding the misandry and murder cakes in general, but though this site is dedicated to cakes that "go horribly, hilariously wrong," I do not see that there is any guarantee that all posts will meet all these criteria for everyone all the time. Sometimes cakes are just plain wrong! I mean, hey, if you want to celebrate your divorce by fantasizing that you're a member of ISIS, well, free expression and all that, but then don't censor it if a man orders a cake of his dismembered ex-wife.
I'm looking forward to the day when the dissolution of a same-sex marriage produces this kind of result. No gender politics. Just pure hatred and senseless violence! Yay equality!
I don't understand why John had to censor the firecracker on Aimee's cake.
Most of these cakes were tasteless but well executed (see what I did there?).
Anyone else think some of the items in the frying pan look like "gentlemen's parts"? No?
On a side note.... number two has impeccable script. Wish my cake handwriting was that nice!
Other than that... I have dark humor... so... I thought they were hilarious. Yes. I'm a bad person. hehe
To: john (the censorer of penises):
Don't censor them on my account! I wouldn't have my kids if it weren't for them!
The first time I ever saw a divorce cake was in the mid 60's. In the days, when wedding cakes were all white, my dad did the divorce cake in "psychodelic" designs and bright colors. The customer loved it.
i don't agree with domestic violence either...and these are pretty tacky...but are meant to be funny...so, it's okay to cut into a cake that closely resembles a BABY ( or if it's on Cake Wrecks maybe not so closely)...I mean, isn't that child abuse, cannibalism by that way of thinking? No, just 100% tackiness..easy to fix, if you don't like the post, keep scrolling...I myself love the wood chipper one as I tell my husband when he dies I'm saving a ton on funeral expenses and turning him into mulch..but hey, at least I'm waiting till he's dead right? thanks for the laughs!
There sure are some angry elves out there!
Love the site, Jen and John - every time.
#6 : Wrong head.
Would the cake makers here consider making a cake with a man beating up a woman with a baseball bat? Or is violence and contempt only ok if a woman is doing them? These aren't clever, ironic, post-modern or anything else except unpleasant. I'd say the husbands involved are well out of the marriages!
while these are a bit twisted, i do have one concern....notice how all the cakes are obviously for women? come on!! not all divorces are the guy's fault....i know a couple guys who got raked over the proverbial coals by their battle-axes of exes....they deserve a cake, too!!!
Like many others here, I find the overall tone of the violence/dismemberment/blood-and-gore cakes somewhat horrific (I actually threw up in my mouth a little at the baseball bat one!). To each their own, however: I've been fortunate enough _not_ to have been involved in a relationship which has left me feeling like those cake toppers; I guess some readers who have experienced terrible relationships feel otherwise. Either way, these cakes are true wrecks in that they are simply, horribly WRONG.
On the plus side, I think John did an upstanding job of censoring. No dicking around - he really really raised the bar on this one.
And the fish one is just cute. :)
Hilarious again. No more endorsing domestic violence than suggesting we make hoo haa cakes when we have babies! Very funny and easy enough to sympathize with... Your Yankee censorship sure is a funny thing John, but we sure appreciate your efforts to keep matters in hand (roll eyes here). I'm suspecting there are no male focused cakes as they (massive generalization ahead) tend to get drunk with their mates, instead of plan ahead, eat cake and then get drunk like us girls.
Pikkewyntjie, exactly right. Others, get a grip. It's a humor site. And I say this as someone who's been on the receiving end of domestic violence. Plus, you were warned, you know.
I made the seventh cake for a woman who ordered it for her friend as a joke. She was very specific about what she wanted, and brought in the cake topper for me to use. We cut off the head with a pair of scissors... "the customer is always right", right? I admit, ihought it was pretty funny (but sad) at the time. I do think that these cakes are pretty horrific, but if this is how someone finds a way to releases their anger, I say better this than the much more real and violent things I can think of. I would venture to guess these were all made in jest, and not one ex wife physically harmed their husbands. To all the people who argue "what if it had been the woman?" I agree that it would be seen as more horrific and offensive, but that is the fault of society and how we view women, men, and relationships. Domestic violence is no laughing matter, and domestic violence towards men is just as serious as abuse towards a woman. However, ask yourself how many men, who in this society are taught to behave in a "manly" and aggressive way, would go and buy a cake that demonstrates this sort of rage? How many women just end up dead instead? Seriously. While it's unfortunate (and perhaps even immature) to have a relationship end this bitterly, I think we can all agree that trying to make a joke of it is preferable to acting out that anger.
I haven't read all the other comments, but I did not find these one bit funny. I doubt a bakery would have filled on order for a cake showing a man beating up on a woman, hitting her with a frying pan, etc., but the other way around is fine???